When I came here, I thought I'd be ready. I brought my nice white shoes with me, my black pants, even a gold necklace. My hair was done, purse on my shoulder, and I bravely walked into the funeral home with my mother beside me.
Once I got inside, I found a card with his name on it. Naruto Uzumaki. Even then, it didn't hit me. I signed the guestbook, grabbed a card, and went inside. Even then, it didn't faze me…I still didn't think it would be this bad.
We were really close; we even went out for a few weeks. According to the hilarious retelling of Iruka-sensei, at first he didn't want to date me…because he was afraid that if there was ever a time when we broke up, I wouldn't want to be his friend anymore… Oh Naruto…even after we broke up, I always wanted to have a close relationship with you…you were one of my best friends.
"Hahaha!! But he still took you out to eat and went to the movies with you, Sakura! I guess that was his way of saying you guys were going out. You were like his undercover girlfriend."
When I walked into that room…and I glimpsed your body, Naruto, I was afraid. I was afraid to go near you. Because then I would know, deep in my heart, that you really were gone. I hugged Konohamaru, and thought of you. I even saw the ramen guy, and thought of you.
Guess what, Naruto. I finally bought a pet fox like you wanted me to…it's so kind, just like you were.
It wasn't until I found Hinata…that reality hit me. With tears coursing down her red face, crumpled tissues in her lap, it was all I could do not to sob. But once I wrapped her in my arms and realized that no, it wasn't fair that he could be dead while we were alive.
With tears rolling down my face and pooling in my eyes, it was all I could do not to just block everyone out and start wailing. Naruto, man, you were so awesome…it wasn't until I walked up to your body with my childhood friend until I realized I could find closure.
Haha, there you were, with one of your favorite shirts and your kunai in your hand. Next to eating, training was probably all you ever did. Wow, it wasn't until your passing that I realized we had so much in common…
I miss you Naruto. We all miss you. But it's alright. Everything's going to be alright now.
I smiled as I followed my mom out of the Funeral Home. You may be gone now…but in a way, you've also given me the courage and strength to go on.
So, thanks. I appreciate it. I've always appreciated you…I just hope you took that with you.
This small piece is dedicated to
Joshua Luke Milliron
January 1, 1992-September 13, 2008
Written by Pamela (his undercover girlfriend)
This is actually based on my real life…I wrote a short story and posted it on my fiction press account, luz-de-esperanza. The main character is myself, Naruto is Josh, and I think I may have mentioned Hinata…she is one of my friends in the story.
This is for Josh…who recently took his own life. I'm sorry if it wasn't entertaining, or long, or if it even bored you a little. Going to his wake gave me a feeling of closure, but I still needed to write a little to let my feelings out. Thanks for reading and being patient with me.
-cardcaptor eternity
"The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death." 1 Corinthians 15:26
"Your lost friends are not dead, but gone before, advanced a stage or two upon that road which you must travel in the steps they trod."
Aristophanes
