AN: I'm not really sure where this came from and I didn't edit it but since I haven't written anything in FOREVER I thought I'd go ahead and post. As always, comments (even flames) are welcome. :D
They were all so worried about what she went through this summer. And it was true. Ziva was more broken than she had ever been. But the fact is that it had nothing to do with the torture, the rape. Those things she could handle.
No. It was that she had given up. She had abandoned NCIS, burned the bridges that connected her to the only people who had ever really cared about her. And then she had let her father down, failed in her mission. The only thing she was ever good for in his eyes and she had failed. That was why she was ready to die.
But they were obsessed with the torture. They all danced around the topic of rape, never saying the word, never pushing for information, but putting the concept out there so that if she felt any inclination to talk about it she would have her opening.
What they didn't know, what she would never tell them, was that that didn't matter to her at all. She had made her peace with it long ago. It was extraordinarily ineffectual as an interrogation technique on her because she was so very good a dissociating while being raped. To be honest, she barely even felt it any more. Saleem and his men only raped her because she was the only woman in a very large radius and they had little else to do.
No, Ziva David was well equipped to deal with rape. After all, her father had started raping her years ago, before she even really understood what was happening. In his mind it was a wonderful way to prepare her for torture, prevent her from sharing any secrets with terrorists. Not to mention the fact that it allowed him to subjugate his all to passionate daughter, crush her spirit until she became empty inside, just like him.
And Eli wasn't even the worst. That award would go to the men who kidnapped her at 14. The resulting baby was just the icing on that wonderful experience.
Ziva could deal with the torture. She could deal with being raped. In the end, it seemed that the only thing she couldn't deal with was herself.
