I promised you another angsty Blam FF, so here we go! Yey!
Summary: Sam starts to act weird when Blaine gets a new boyfriend. Soon Blaine finds out why and their relationships shifts. But can their romance work when neither of them is truly ready to settle down? When jealousy, self-destruction and pretty much everything else stand in their way?
Pairings (written out or mentioned): Bladam, Samchel, Blam, Kelliot... and someone for Marley^^
Warnings: Original Characters; drug abuse (actually I think I need to trigger warn this!); (bi) sexuality issues; body issuses & anorexia (tw); psychological distress; angst in general.
The Miles Between Us
October 2014
Blaine wiped his face with a towel and stayed back as the other members of 'Adam's Apples' strolled out of NYADA's auditorium. Marley threw him a questioning glance but he waved her to go on. He had told her what he planned to do after today's Glee club practise so she really didn't have to look as surprised as she did. Or was it supposed to be impressed? But it wasn't like Blaine never went through with his plans. He was a second year student now and he had to be a good role model for the newbies (a.k.a. Marley and some strangers he didn't care about). And he had been through more than enough shit last year. But it was over, a fresh school year had begun and the new Blaine wasn't afraid of risks!
He gathered his courage (something that had been lost during the last years with Kurt) and stepped to Adam, who checked a speaker that had made some weird noises.
"Hey! So… I was wondering…" Blaine began.
"I hope it wasn't too exhausting", Adam said in all sincerity.
"What?"
"The wondering, I hope… Never mind. What's up?" Adam turned his attention fully towards Blaine.
"Well…" Straight forwards now, Blaine! "Do go want to get a coffee some time?"
Adam frowned and tilted his head. "As in…?"
"As in a date."
"Oh. Uhm…"
"If you have a boyfriend just tell me and I'm backing out", Blaine quickly said and immediately regretted it. The new Blaine didn't apologise for his actions before knowing if it would be appreciated or not!
"No, I don't. " Adam studied Blaine curiously. "Very forthright. I like it."
"Is that a yes?"
Finally a smile appeared on Adam's face and he nodded. "Yes. Why not."
"Not quite the enthusiastic answer I was hoping to get but I take it", Blaine grinned. "Friday eight o'clock?"
"Sure."
Only when Blaine had left the auditorium did he allow himself a little victory dance.
"So I figured he said yes? Unless you're really into getting rejected", a voice came from the side. Blaine jerked around.
"Marley! You frightened me!"
Marley waved it off and they started walking towards the exit doors.
"But yeah, he agreed. I have a date on Fridaaay!"
"Oh, that's so great! Now you can move on from Kurt for real!"
"I already have, Marley. Just because I haven't dated since January…"
"Not January, the official break-up was in June."
"No, I count January because that's when we agreed to take a break, Kurt moved out and we haven't talked to each other since except for those three weeks in June during our 'let's try it again' vacation in Rome that Kurt spend mostly looking at Italian men and I spent it tasting all European ice cream sorts there are."
"You didn't glance once at the Italian men, too?"
"No, I was drowning in self-pity. But as I said. I moved on and now it's October and I'm so ready to date again."
"So is Adam your rebound guy or have you been secretly in love with him all of last year…?"
"I just think he's cute. His British accent is hilarious, don't you think?"
Marley nodded. "Though I'm more into though guys. Like this boy in my 'Dance for Beginners' class? He's so hot."
"Uh, Marley! You should ask him out. New school, new city, new life! That's good, right?"
Giggling they left the building. Alone the fact that Blaine hadn't meet Sebastian Smythe today made the day a successful one. He honestly didn't know why his former Dalton peer had gotten into NYADA but since Blaine couldn't imagine Carmen Tibideaux was corruptible he must've had something that made him good enough for this school.
"Don't make any plans on Friday", Sam said as Blaine entered the kitchen.
"Too late. Why?"
"Santana called and ordered me to bring you to a 'Pamela Lansbury' gig. She said she needs to see with her own eyes that you still exist."
Blaine rolled his eyes and scanned the fridge for food.
"She knows I'm avoiding them because of Kurt."
"She says this excuse lost its validity after six months."
"It's only been four months."
"She counts from January."
"Well, the official break-up was in June." Blaine took a plate with pasta and put it into the microwave. While he waited he sat down opposite to Sam on the table and tried to look at the book his roommate was reading. But he held it down so the title wasn't to be seen.
"Apparently Kurt tells everyone it has been January", Sam said
Blaine sighed. "Yeah, well, mostly I'm thinking that, too."
"So will you come?"
"No, I have a date on Friday. And no, I can't bring him. It's Kurt's ex."
Blaine shrugged. He had thought about whether it was weird if he went out with Adam. But if Kurt never knew, and Adam too, then everything would be good, wouldn't it? And if it turned out to be the love of his life and they'd marry then Kurt would forgive him. Probably.
"You're… dating Kurt's ex?" Sam raised his eyebrows.
Blaine shrugged again and went to get his warmed up food. When he sat back Sam was still looking at him.
"What? It's not that bad, is it?"
"As long as you don't use him to get back at Kurt."
"You know I wouldn't do something like that."
Sam exhaled and directed his eyes at his book again. In doing so he said: "So you're ready to date again."
"Yeah. It's been long enough."
Blaine started eating. For a few minutes it was quiet, then his eyes fell on the book Sam was reading and he choked on his noodles. Blaine coughed and got up to get a glass of water.
When he had calmed down he sat down again and frowned at Sam.
"'The best weigh loss strategies', Sam? What is this about?"
"About my career, obviously. I'm not going anywhere if I'm not willing to work! Look at all my friends. Look at Rachel! She's almost famous. Do you think she'd want a boyfriend who is, like, less than nobody? I'm still modelling for medical ads or hairdresser books! Not even the neighbour's dog knows who I am!"
"Because dogs don't read magazines…?"
"My downfall started last year when you talked me out of working for Bichette. That was my mistake. The biggest mistake of my life."
"Oh, come on, you're exaggerating. Bichette is a cruel woman. You don't consider actually working for her, do you? Have you talked with Rachel about this?"
"Why would I, it's my business."
Blaine raised his eyebrows. "I think I will never understand what is going on between you two. You've been together for, what, four months last year? Why did you even break up when you still… get intimate from time to time?"
"It's called friends with benefits, Blaine."
"But you obviously still have feelings for her and I don't think Rachel –"
"Can we stop talking about that now? You sound like Kurt. I could just ask the same, couldn't I? Why did you two break up when you obviously are like twins?"
Blaine rolled his eyes but didn't push it and took up his fork again. After a few moments of silence Sam said: "Anyway, I like being free and going on dates with different girls. And this is what I need money for, too. I mean I can barely pay the rent…"
"But you can."
"…and I hate it when girls pay for the dates. How can I ever score if they take pity on me?"
Blaine shrugged. He had offered Sam to pay the whole rent often enough. His parents send him monthly allowances that would cover it without problems. Back when Sam had lived in the loft with Rachel and Santana it hadn't been an issue but when Kurt had moved out here last January and changed living situations with Sam money had started to get tight for him. Well, the apartment was in Manhattan, that would explain the higher rent. But Sam was too stubborn to accept Blaine's offer.
"And about Bichette…?"
"That's my business", Sam mumbled without looking up. Blaine frowned and was about to say no, it wasn't. But he saw how Sam started at the book, his eyes not moving and his jaw pressed together so Blaine let it go. Maybe they could talk about it in a better spirited moment. He had told Sam more than once that he was good enough and a great human being but apparently it was time for another reminder.
New York on a golden October's evening was awesome. The air was pleasantly warm so that Blaine didn't need to wear a jacket. He and Adam went to a Paris bistro far away from the Broadway (where the Spotlight Diner was), ate Croissants and tried to speak with French accents. Adam's French with his British accent sounded hilarious and Blaine laughed the whole evening.
It felt like the start of something good. And since he didn't want to rush into things they parted even without a goodnight kiss.
Maybe that had made the wrong impression, though? Now Adam might think Blaine wanted to be just friends…? Blaine chewed on his lip as he was in the lift upstairs. The apartment was in the thirteenth floor, something Sam had freaked out about in the beginning. But after a few months Blaine had been able to convince Sam that thirteen was a lucky number so they were good now.
With a soft bling the lift stopped at the ninth floor and the Presley twins – twelve years old prats – from next door entered. Blaine silently sighed and hoped they'd ignore him. He wasn't in the mood to preach children right now. They had toy cars in their hands and eyed Blaine but he kept his gaze fixated on the electric display that told him they were going up.
The doors opened at the thirteenth floor. One of the twins said "Mr Anderson is gay!" and they ran out giggling. Blaine rolled his eyes and got out his keys.
"Oh shit. You're back already?"
"Nice to see you, too", Blaine said as he threw his keys into the bowl on the cupboard next to the door. Sam's head vanished from his bedroom door. Blaine went to the kitchen to get something to drink. He stretched his arms and sighed as he looked out of the window, down at the blinking city lights.
"It's eleven." Sam came to the kitchen, wearing a red bath robe.
"Didn't you want to go to Pamela Lansbury?"
"I was. I met someone there and now we're here."
"Oh. Rachel?"
"No. Someone from work. You don't know him."
Blaine lifted his eyebrows. "Him? I thought you were over that phase?"
"I am. It just happened." Sam took two apples from the fruit bowl and grasped a water bottle with that he pointed at Blaine.
"You're not allowed to judge. We talked about weight loss stuff and then he said sex burns more calories than running. So…" Sam shrugged.
Blaine laughed. "Yeah, wow, romantic. Let's have sex to burn calories."
"I said you're not allowed to judge! How did it go with Adam?"
"Good. Very good." Blaine smiled and thought back at how they had walked along the Hudson (okay not very romantic but a river is a river) to look for bistros.
"Yeah? Kurt didn't come up?"
"No, Sam, why would he? I told you it's not like that!"
Sam lifted his eyebrows in a doubting expression, then left the kitchen. Blaine frowned after him. Why would Sam assume something like that? He knew that's not Blaine's style. Blaine wanted to find love and happiness in his life, not get back on people who have treated him badly and ignored his needs and…
Well, okay, maybe he still was angry at Kurt. But that didn't mean he used Adam to get his revenge. And what poor revenge would that made, anyway? Sure neither Kurt nor Adam would mind if they knew the truth.
Although… Blaine wouldn't rub it into their faces or anything. No… let's wait and see how things with Adam would turn out.
In one point Blaine agreed with Sam: It was good to work for your career. He had lost too much time beating himself up over guys but this year things would be different. He'd audition for some plays out of school. He wanted to get a foot on the Broadway stage, just like Rachel. People had recognised her on the streets a few times already and Blaine wanted this, too. She was his idol, although he'd never tell her that. She was perfect in every sense of the word and Blaine didn't know whether in an alternative Universe he'd rather want to be her or would be in love with her. This of course was something he would never tell Sam.
Blaine stopped at the bill-board and looked for auditions.
"The new Blaine will be successful", he said to Marley.
"Oh. Okay. The new Marley, too."
Blaine narrowed his eyes. "Are you copying me?"
"It's a human need to evolve and change. So yes… and no. I'm going my own way. I'm not going for the big shows but for…" She picked a paper and showed it to Blaine.
"You want to give your voice to a Disney princess in the upcoming Christmas movie?"
"Yes. That's perfect for me."
Blaine shrugged. "It kind of is. Well, and this is for me!" He took an ad for Broadway's 'Mona Lisa'. It was a complete new show and he didn't really know what it would be about since it was named after a painting but it was worth checking it out.
"By the way, have you asked out that boy from your class?" Blaine asked. He secretly had thought one of the new boys from 'Adam's Apples' – who was really quite, reminded Blaine of Ryder Lynn from McKinley and whose name he had forgotten – would be good for Marley but who was he to question her wishes?
"No. He's too cool for me", she sighed.
"Oh, don't say that! That's not what the new Marley would think, right? She'd be straight forward and ask him out! Have courage!" Blaine patted her shoulder so she put her chin into the air.
"You are right! I'm not the cute innocent girl from high school anymore. I'm not afraid of risks, just like you! I will go and ask, no, demand a date from Hunter Clarington!"
"Hunter – what? Clarington? As in… former Warbler president?"
"How would I know?"
"Oh my – no, Marley, I take everything back. Don't ask him out, he's one of the bad guys!"
"That's pretty judgemental of you, seeing you're dating your ex's ex. No, I will do it. Yup." Marley nodded and walked away more determined than ever.
Oh crap. If that wouldn't turn out catastrophically.
