Thick raindrops fell from the dismal grey sky and shattered against the grime-covered window. I sat on a dusty chair and watched as the rain moistened the previously sun-parched soil. It had only started raining a couple of minutes ago, forcing Ren and I to seek refuge in this decaying farmhouse. I sat in the living room and waited for the storm to pass while Ren raided the pantry for any preserved food. After a good half-hour of watching water fall from the sky, I accepted that we would be spending the night here and occupied myself with the task of building a suitable fire. There was a fireplace and several large logs nestled snuggly in the corner to my left and, using some of the old yellowed books on the floor as kindling, the room was soon illuminated by a comforting orange glow. I settled down in front of the crackling flames and opened my locket, looking at my precious items.
Chiyo's broach, PF's screw, the Old Man's letter…wait…where was Crow's ring? I panicked, frantically searching all my pockets before remembering that, last week, I had started wearing the ring. I lifted my right hand and, sure enough, there it was, on my ring-finger, the silver skull lit up hauntingly by the flickering flames in the fireplace. It wasn't like me to wear such things, but this was an exception. It was given to me by my best friend.
Four months. It had four months, two weeks and three days since Crow's death. I had been keeping track. I groaned, hiding my face in my hands. Even thinking about that day brought tears to my eyes. I ground the heels of my hands into my eyes to erase the tears and stop the stinging. After the offending salt water had been removed, I heaved a deep sigh and reached into my bag, taking out a worn out novel; Pirate Isle. The binding looked rather ragged by now, even a few pages were falling out, due to how many times I'd read it. I could recite the entire book by heart. I don't know what compelled me to do it, but I would read the book cover to cover and then, once I'd reached the end, I start back from the beginning.
"I didn't find much," said Ren, coming into the living room with several bags in her arms, "Just a bunch of stale potato chips. They're still eatable, but I don't imagine that there's that much nutritional value to them."
I forced a smile for her. It wasn't that I didn't like Ren; we got along fine, despite Sai's doubts at the dam. But that was as far as it went. We didn't really speak to each other a lot and when we did it was never about anything of a personal nature. And lately, even though Ren has been with me – followed by several cats, of course – I've been feeling increasingly lonely. Incomplete. It felt like there was a part of me that was missing, a part where Ren didn't fit. I looked over at the silver-haired girl to see her lifting a cat toy above a cat's head. I gritted my teeth beginning to feel irrationally angry. Ren was oblivious to my pain in favour of a cat. As my anger grew my mind drifted to Sai, who had abandoned me for Shin. The unpleasant emotion expanded even further as my mind wandered…
…to Crow. Crow had left me.
"Friends always see each other again."
My hand clenched into fists. Crow had lied to me; I'll never see him again.
Ever.
"I guess that makes me your number one buddy. Best friends, right?"
I squeezed my eyes shut, angry that, even now, I could still hear his voice. That I could still feel his hand holding mine. Still feel his lips on mine.
"Seto?"
I was startled out of my thoughts by Ren who was looking at me with concern.
"Are you alright, Seto?" she asked, gently touching my shoulder, "You're crying."
I hesitantly lifted a hand to my face and felt tears running down my cheek. I was crying. I hadn't even noticed. Looking back up into Ren's amethyst eyes, I felt shame well up in my chest, washing away the anger. I shouldn't have been mad at her. How was she to know of my pain if I didn't tell her about it?
"I was just…remembering an old friend…" I said, slowly, "He…he died in the dam…"
"Oh…" she said, "Was he, uh, human?" She was hesitant to ask the question.
"N-no," I replied, "He was a robot…a doll…b-but, it didn't make him any less of a friend!"
"I know…but…I've read about dolls. If their battery dies, all you need to do is replace it with a new battery and their system will switch back on."
"Yeah, but the there aren't anymore batteries…"
"What about all those dolls in the dam that attack you? They have to run on something…"
My eyes widened. Of course! How did I miss it? Crow said himself that he was similar to those dolls and the papers on the floor said that there had been 127 prototypes…of Crow…those dolls must have been Crow's prototypes! Therefore, they must run on the same battery!
I blushed profusely when I realized that I had had said that outburst out-loud, at the top of my lungs no less. But Ren simply looked at me with and kind smile and said,
"Come on, then! Let's go find this 'Crow' of yours a new battery!"
Our footsteps and voices echoed throughout the dark, damp hallways of the dam's interior. Ren had insisted that I recount the tale of how I met Crow. So I indulged her; I told her how he had attempted to intimidate me (and succeeded) when I had entered the fun fair. How he had stolen my locket and led me on a merry chase all around the fairground and over the roller coaster. I also told her of how he had given me the ring; of course I left out the fact that he'd kissed me. After I'd finished, she asked me how I came to be in the fun fair, which led to the story of PF and the Merchant. Then she wanted to know where I went after the fair. Eventually I had told her all about my journey to find her and the people I had met. It was nice, telling her this. The hope that I might see Crow alive again had lightened my spirits. However, under that layer of hope was a horrible feeling of dread.
I didn't remember how many of the homicidal Crow prototypes I had destroyed. What if there wasn't any left? Or what if their batteries were dead as well? Despite this doubt, I pressed onward. I had to try, for Crow's sake.
I had to try…
I stopped dead in my tracks, struck by a sudden epiphany. I wasn't angry a Ren or Sai or Crow. I had been looking for someone to blame. I was truly angry at myself. My rage was directed at myself because I hadn't tried. I had been so consumed with the task of finding Ren that, when my best friend had died, I hadn't tried to save him. I had left him here, in this long abandoned electric dam. Alone. I hadn't even made an effort to prevent his death. Shame and self-hatred tied around each other to form a painful knot in the pit of my stomach. I didn't deserve to see Crow again. I deserved to live with this pain for the rest of my life.
"SETO!"
Ren's cry of terror pulled me from my metaphorical pit of self-loathing to see her being attacked by one of Crow's prototypes. There were still more. I hastily ran to them and placed myself defensively in front of Ren. I pulled out my axe and wielded it menacingly in front of myself, daring the hellish automaton to come forward. Sure enough, it ignored my weapon and sauntered towards us, preparing to lunge. It never got the chance. I lifted the axe over my shoulder and swung it using all my strength, effectively lodging the blade in the doll's sparking skull. It let out a haunting scream before falling to the ground, ceasing to move. Ren cautiously approached the robot, as though it would jump up and bite her, and rolled it onto its front.
"I once saw a schematic for this model," she said, pointing to a hatch on its back, "The battery should be located right here."
She moved aside, allowing me to crouch by the doll's remains. I opened my red fish-tin and pulled out a rusty screwdriver that I had found in the farmhouse. Using the tool I pried opened the hatched and observed the power source inside. It was a dull red, rectangular shaped battery with several wires connecting it to the robot's circuitry. I knew that I wouldn't remember the correct wires to attach to the battery so I drew a rough, colour-coded diagram of the setup. After completing my crude sketch, I gently unplugged every wire. I gingerly removed it from the doll's body and set it in my fish-tin. With a quick nod to Ren, we set off to find Crow.
I knew that I didn't deserve to see him. However, just this once, I was deciding to be selfish. I would be with Crow, whether I was deserving or not.
I forced the rusted door open. The hinges groaned in protest but I forced them to move. Ren had stayed in the hallway, letting me do this on my own. I guess she knew how important this was to me. I stepped into the room that held so many painful memories. With Shin gone there was no one left to run the dam, so the lights were out, making it even less welcoming than it had been in the first place. I set my flashlight in the perfect position to illuminate the room. The reddish walls seemed much closer than they had before, and much taller. It was as if they were looming over me, judging me, asking me why I was so late.
Swallowing the large lump in my throat, I located the make-shift grave that I had made for Crow and removed him from it. It was quite difficult, lifting Crow. He was made out of metal and, hence, he was very heavy. It was also emotionally difficult, looking down at the most important person in my life. It had taken his death for me to realize how large a piece of my life he took up. As I looked down at him, I noticed how fragile he looked in what little light we had. With his powerful eyes shut he didn't look half as intimidating as he did when he was looming over me, staring intently at me with that smarmy grin plastered onto his face, like I was a brand new toy for him to play with. I wondered, suddenly, what he would look like without his hat. I gently propped up his head, removed the magenta head gear and place him gently back on the ground. Without his hat he looked so much older, so much more mature than he really was. Ebony locks brushed against pale synthetic skin.
I blushed when I realized I was staring and returned to the task at hand. Opening my fish-tin, I removed my diagram and one of the several batteries I had collected on the way here. Ren and I had run into many more prototypes after the first one and I had defeated them all, acquiring as many batteries as I could. I knew I had been jumping to conclusions, preparing for the future before I was certain of the present...
My blush darkened when I noticed that in order to replace Crow's battery, I'd have to remove a lot of his clothes. Forcing down my shyness and embarrassment I removed my friend's scarf, jacket, gloves, medals, and shirt.
He looked…human. Unlike his predecessors, there were no visible joints, wires or circuits. If he hadn't told me that he was a machine, I would have said that he was as human as I was. Once again, my curiosity got the better of me; I wanted to know what he felt like. Of course he had touched me before but, other than the kiss, I never had any skin to skin contact with him. Would he feel cold and hard, like metal? I gently laid my hand on his chest. Nope. He felt human, too. Soft. It felt nice.
Once again, my blush deepened in colour, 'Come on, Seto!' I thought to myself, 'You have to FOCUS!'
I gently rolled him onto his front and unscrewed the hatch on his back. I lifted the panel up to inspect it, noticing a serial number etched into the metal. I gritted my teeth in anger. Crow wasn't a part of a series. He was unique. Special. And I cursed the bastard that labeled him as a single part of a project. I attempted to steady my hands as I unplugged wire by wire. I wasn't a scientist. There were so many things that I could screw up. I could wind up making him blind or mute. I could make him deaf. Or I could accidentally erase his memory. What would happen then? To have him alive but not remembering me, what we've been through…it would be unbearable.
I removed the depleted battery, noticing with excitement that it was indeed the same kind that I removed from the prototypes. Paying close attention to my crude yet accurate drawing, I connected the wires to the new battery. Once I had finished I rolled him onto his back and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
I waited for an hour, maybe two before sorrow racked my body. I had assumed his body would take a while to reboot…but not this long. I had failed. He was really gone. My heart no longer felt empty. No, now it felt as though it had been ripped out of my chest, leaving a gaping, bleeding wound. I collapsed onto Crow, resting my head on his chest, and sobbed harder than I ever had before. I don't know how long I simply laid there wallowing in my own misery, but eventually I was choking on my tears, my throat rough and scratchy from the abuse it had been taking. My whimpering only ceased when I felt a warm hand grasp my quivering shoulder and heard a familiar voice speak to me.
"Come on now, that's enough."
I hardly dared to lift my head but, when I did, I was met with a pair of powerful green eyes and a very familiar grin.
"And for your information," the comforting voice said, repeating words it had said to me before, "I've never cried a day in my entire life."
At first, I thought that I was dead, that I had pined to death and had been reunited with my best friend in some form of afterlife. But as he grasped me by my upper arms and moved so that we were both sitting up, it finally dawned on me that he was alive.
Crow was alive.
I couldn't contain myself. Tears welled up in my eyes as I flung my arms around his neck. "I-I-I.I'm so SORRY! I-I should have come s-sooner! I'm sorry!"
"Hey!" he yelped in surprise, "It's alright! What are ya still crying for? I'm alive, aren't I?"
"Y-yeah…b-but I-I-I…I'm just so happy you're alive!"
"Humans cry when their sad and happy?" Crow asked. At my shaky nod, he sighed in false exasperation, "There's no pleasing your kind is there?" We both laughed, "Hey…..why am I half-naked?" he asked, looking at me suggestively.
"U-u-uh, t-the b-b-battery!" I stuttered, my previous blush returning ten-fold, "I-I had t-to-the s-shirt! T-the b-battery! Y-you-I-I-"
He cut of my inane babbling by pressing his lips firmly to mine. I stiffened in shock but soon relaxed into his hold, sighed against his lips in contentment. Ever since he had stolen my first kiss under the moonlit Ferris wheel, despite my original protest, I had hoped that we would meet again later in my journey and that he would kiss me again. Since our previous meeting resulted in his 'death', I had thought it would no longer be possible to feel his lips on mine, but now I finally felt happy, complete. I embraced him and return the kiss like I should have the first time. I don't know how long we sat there, in that dark, lonely room, but eventually, he gently took hold of my face and we slowly separated. I was left in a daze but I clearly noticed a teasing grin playing on the lips mine had previously occupied.
"You know," he said, "You're really cute when you're embarrassed!"
I halfheartedly slapped his shoulder as we stood up; well, he stood, lifting me to my feet, my knees still weak from joy, relief, and the kiss. I surprised me how strong he was. Once he made sure that my legs wouldn't give way beneath me, Crow retrieved his clothes and began to re-dress himself. I turned away sheepishly, allowing him a bit of privacy. He startled me by slipping his arms underneath mine, hugging me from behind.
"Come one, Seto," a pleasant tingle went up my spine at the way he said my name, "Let's get out of here. This place gives me the creeps!"
Both of us laughing, I picked up my flashlight and followed my friend out the rusted doorway – he had a much easier time opening the doors than I had, the show off. As we approached the hallway, however, I noticed the familiar glow of a bonfire. Odd, I didn't remember lighting one on the way in…oh wait…crap. Standing in wait for us, hands on her hips and made to look much more menacing in the glare of the firelight, was Ren. She had been waiting out here this entire time…and I had completely forgotten about her…oops.
"WHERE have you BEEN? I was afraid that it didn't work and that Seto had killed himself to be with his LOVER!" she yelled, "You know, like ROMEO and JULIET!"
There was a very long pause before Crow blurted out, "Seto, what's a 'lover'?"
Another lengthy pause. Then we all had a long, hard laugh and started on our way, trading stories back and forth – starting with Ren explaining in great detail what 'lovers' were to Crow. I might as well permanently paint a blush onto my face!
