A/N: This came to me in a dream and I couldn't get it out of my head. It was interfering with my other story so for those of you who read it there will be an update soon.
The Right Way to Say Goodbye
Sam was alone in the hotel again.
The good thing was it gave him time to think without Dad or Dean interrupting him with dinner or research or whatever. Dean he didn't mind so much if they were alone. They had been together together for a little over four months now and Sam loved every minute of the love and affection Dean gave him. Their father didn't show him any, ever, and Dean couldn't when Dad was around.
Sam was mainly thinking about that night, the one that changed his life, and whether or not Dean had meant what he said that night. It had happened on his birthday, Dad as always was away, and since he was turning 18 Dean had decided that Sam should get drunk. He had shown up to the hotel with a handle of Whiskey and a thirty rack of beer. The brothers where halfway through each and Dean was a little buzzed and Sam was three sheets to the wind.
Sam was apparently a touchy drunk and had practically crawled into Dean's lap. Even with having been drunk Sam can still remember what happened next.
"Dude you aren't five anymore and you sure aren't a chick trying to get into my pants so get off!" Dean sounded annoyed and the rejection of even simple touch enraged Sam.
"Yeah I'm not a barfly or a whore so I'm not allowed to touch you unless you're bleeding right!?" Sam practically spat this at Dean but did just as he had asked. "It's not as if you care about what I want as long as Dad's prime directive is followed; 'Take care of Sammy, Dean' that is all you think about when it comes to me. I hate it!"
"Sammy, you don't know what you're saying. You should probably go to bed; we'll talk about whatever you want in the morning."
Sam was in the middle of the room swaying on shaky legs. Dean was trying to approach him and get him into bed. "Dean I-I- I know exactly what 'm sayin' and It's all true. You don't care enough about me to ask what I want, all that matters to you 's being Dad's good little soldier. Well you know what, Fuck you!" at this point there are tears in Sam's face.
"Sam you my brother and I love you, you know that. What is this really about, what do you mean I don't ask what you want? If you want something I kinda expect you to ask."
"I can't ask this Dean. I only want this if you want this."
"Sammy you're losing me again?"
By this time Dean had reached Sam, who had in his drunken state backed himself into a corner, and was holding his shoulders to keep him upright. This is what allowed Sam to grab his shirt and crash his lips into Dean's. At first Dean froze, but when Sam licked his lips begging to be let in he started to kiss back. And man, Dean knew how to kiss. It was everything Sam had hoped. But then it was over.
"Oh God, Dean, I didn't…." Sam was silenced by Dean's lips back on his. He immediately melted into the kiss. When the kiss was over he heard the words he had been hoping to hear for years.
"Sam you don't have to worry if that is what I want, I have wanted it forever. But your drunk, we need to finish this in the morning.
And finish it they had. Sam still feels queasy when he remembers the hangover the next morning, and Dean bringing him the greasiest dinner food around. They talked as soon as Sam felt human again. Talked about how long they had both been hiding it, how it was incest, whether or not they cared, what would they do if dad found out, everything until they fell into a comfortable silence. Dean kissed him again then and made Sam promise that they would take it slow. He had reluctantly agreed but it had worked out fine.
Sam was brought out of his thoughts by the rumble of the impala. He got up to look out the window. Dads truck was no were to be seen. That was good because Sam had a plan. He had just gotten the acceptance package from Stanford and would have to leave soon. He wanted to make sure he said good bye to Dean the right way, in a way he was sure to remember when the inevitable happened. Sam still wasn't sure if Dean was with him just because he had asked or because he really wanted it, he had a hard time accepting that Dean could want him but he was gonna make sure Dean remembered him for however long they would be apart.
"Sammy 'm home!"
"Hey Dean. Where's Dad?"
"Got another lead and wants us to meet him in a couple of days"
The rest of the evening passed as normal; dinner, showers, crappy cable. All of a sudden Sam picks up the remote and shuts the TV off.
"Hey! I was watching that."
Sam didn't reply. Just threw his leg of Dean's lap, straddling him in one fluid motion. He bent down and kissed Dean softly on the lips. "Make love to me Dean."
"You can be such a girl Sammy." Dean said this as he was lifting Sam's shirt off. Sam reveled in the feeling of Dean's fingers skimming the skin of his sides causing shivers down his spine. Sam lifted Dean's shirt next and began to kiss his neck and shoulders, hands trailing down his chest and stomach all the way to the button of his jeans. He unbuttoned the button and pulled the zip down slowly trying to draw out the anticipation.
After a few more minutes of kissing he backed off. "Lay down big brother."
Dean hurried to do as asked. He was confused as to what Sammy was getting at with all of this. Something was seriously wrong with his brother but if this is what Sammy needed to fix it he was willing to do soft and sweet, he was willing to let Sammy drive this bus where ever he wanted. He shimmed down till his head was on the pillow, Sam still above him. Sam pulled off his jeans and boxers together then got off the bed and did the same to his own.
He got back on the bed and lay down next to Dean. He placed his hand on Dean's cheek and looked into his eyes, "I love you."
"Are you okay Sammy? You're worrying me."
"I'm fine Dean; I just want to show you."
Before Dean could say more Sam was kissing him again this time his tongue swiping across Dean's lips begging for entrance. Dean opened up for him and swirled his tongue around Sam's drawing a moan form him.
Sam broke the kiss in favor of kissing down his neck and to his chest. When he reached a nipple he kissed it gently and then took it in between his lips to flick it with his tongue. Dean's breath was becoming heavier with his efforts so he decided to nibble with just enough pressure to earn a moan form Dean. With this Dean wove his fingers into Sam's hair and attempted to pull him up for another kiss.
Sam grabbed his wrists placing them next to his hips. "Keep them there until I tell you to touch. Just lay back and let me play." Sam kissed his lips and then picked up where he left off. Dean was so blissed he didn't see Sam reach under the pillow for the lube.
Sam kissed down his stomach, pay attention to each chiseled ab muscle and the v-cut of his hips. He kissed down his thighs, giving attention everywhere but where Dean wanted it. "Please Sammy, stop teasing me."
"Okay Dean, I've got you." Sam gently kissed the engorged head and collected the pre-come with his tongue. Dean was so distracted with this that he didn't even hear Sam pop the top off the lube. After slicking up three of his fingers Sam tossed the lube on the other side of the bed and supported himself with his clean hand. As he took the head into his mouth and swirled his tongue the way he knew Dean liked he started to prep himself. Going straight to two fingers in his efforts to be ready sooner caused him to moan on the down stroke the vibrations drawing a gasp of pleasure from Dean.
"God Sammy, so good to me baby boy. Wish we could do this forever."
Just as he was finished saying this he looked down at Sam. The sight almost had him blowing right then: Sam's mouth going up and down his cock, swirling his tongue and hitting every sensitive spot, while his had was behind him fingers buried exactly where dean wanted his cock.
"Sammy, so hot!"
Sam locked eyes with Dean. He drew up off Dean's cock as slowly as he could, from base to tip, pulling off with a filthy sounding pop. He knew how close Dean was and was as ready as he wanted to be. He planned to feel this for as long as he could after without actually hurting himself. He climbed back up Dean's body pulling his fingers out as he did. Grabbed the lube up off the bed and poured a liberal amount on his hand. He leaned down to kiss Dean, sharing the taste of his own cock with him, at the same time he slicked it up.
He pulled back and whispered in Dean's ear "I wanna ride you?"
"God yes!"
Sam positioned himself over Dean and slowly began to lower onto his huge slick cock. Because of the minimal prep the burn was more intense but he felt so full, so complete he couldn't stop. Not even when he reached bottom, he started moving right away.
"Dean, touch me now."
Dean picked up the lube, squeezed some on his hand, and grabbed Sam's cock jacking it in time with Sam's bouncing.
"God Sam, you're so tight, so hot!"
Sam's head had rolled back between his shoulders, his hands on Dean's thighs, trying to hold out and make this as good for Dean as possible. Dean was almost there so he sped up his hand.
"Sam I'm close! Ugh, God, Sammy!"
Dean grabbed Sam and pulled him down into a kiss. He wrapped his arms around Sam's back and fucked Sam's mouth with is tongue. He took control and started pounding in and out of Sam's well-loved hole hitting his prostate head on each time. That plus the friction of his dick rubbing between their stomachs caused Sam to come. His vision whited out and he bit down on Dean's lip while his muscles clenched down on Dean, shooting thick ropes between their bodies.
The pleasure-pain from the bite and the pressure on his cock spurred Dean's own release. With a near scream and one last thrust he was coming deep in Sam. The aftershocks had him shivering and holding on to Sam for dear life, whispering Sam's name like a prayer. "Sammy, Sammy… "
When they came down and Dean's grip loosened Sam rolled off and then into Dean's side. Dean rolled on to his side and looked down and Sam. He cupped Sam's cheek and looked into his eyes.
"I'm not trying for a chick-flick moment or nothin' but you know that I love you right? Sammy I will always love you."
"Yeah Dean, I know." What he really meant was he hoped that was true. He didn't know if Dean would connect the dots once he left but he did know that this was definitely the right way to say goodbye.
