A/N: I don't own The Lord of the Rings or any of it's characters.
There's probably a few fics out there like this but I just wanted to write one of my own. So R&R
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"I took pity on you as a child," Saruman said, "So impressionable you were. Believed everything you were told. But you've grown since then and so has your wisdom. Though you still seem to underestimate my surveillance over you. And soon, I hope, you'll learn that. No one has ever escaped. I've told you that time and time again. You will not succeed. I hope this time your punishment will teach you this time around. And as always supervision will be placed at your room."
I felt sharp nails claw into my arms as an orc hauled me onto my feet. Butterflies began to fly around in my stomach as I watched Saruman. I waited with bated breath for my punishment to be said. But there was a long silence. He stared at my expressionless face. I knew he could tell I was frightened. Despite my tries to conceal it, my eyes gave it away. He hadn't moved, not even twitched since he spoke. "What will work, I wonder," he mused quietly to himself, though my sharp ears picked it up. "Another beating perhaps…though it's never worked," he whispered again. At least he knows that now. Maybe I'll be spared the pain of the whip. Even the slightest thought of it made me shudder. His grey eyes stared harshly at me. Uncomfortable under his stare I looked around the dark room. The dark circular statues that housed candles cast eerie shadows. Theirs height made me feel even smaller than I already felt. The tall orc tightened his grip on my arms. I winced and looked back up at Saruman. He had a cynical smile on his face. I shuddered. He's thought of something horrible. "Take her to the dungeon. Leave her there for the rest of the day. It'll give her sometime to think," he said.
I shuddered. I've never been to the dungeon. But I know it couldn't be anything good.
The orc pulled me along as he left the room. I didn't struggle. There was no sense in making them hit me if I've seemingly escaped a beating. For a while anyway. The long torch lit hallway stretched on and on, deeper into the darkness. I knew we were getting close. The air was cooler and mustier.
Silently we came to the door and I was shoved inside, to be forgotten the rest of the day. I landed hard and against a wall. The orc slammed the door, leaving me locked in darkness. As my eyes adjusted I could make out the dim shape of the door which was only a few feet away. I felt my way up the wall to walk around to check how big the room was. When I stood I felt something solid above my head. I reached up and felt the ceiling. It was cold as ice. I took a couple steps forward with my arms out in front of me and found a wall. I turned around and did the same thing. I found a wall within a few feet. I gasped and slid down the wall and bundled up my knees to my chest. The dungeon was too small. And I'm too claustrophobic to be in here all day. Saruman knew that. He's using my fears against me.
I held my knees close to me and closed my eyes. I tried not to think about being kept in such a small place and tried to think about how I was going to escape next.
He said he wanted me think and that's what I'm going to do. My latest escape plan has failed. Miserably, I might add. Bed sheet ropes do not work well when scaling a hundred foot wall.
Orthanc is not the easiest place to escape from. I've attempted countless times and have failed each time.
I've lived in Orthanc almost my entire life. I barely remember anything about my life before I came here, or rather I was brought here. I remember my parents were killed and Saruman took me in. I've asked him several times why he kept me. His answer has always been: "It's a nice change from the orcs," I never went any further than that, but I wonder why I was spared. I'm the furthest thing from pretty, and I'm not very useful other than for breaking things (by accident) and escaping which Saruman has made clear several times that he hates that. I do wonder about Saruman's purposes for me. If there are any. Maybe he just likes my pain. Whatever the Valar have planed for me doesn't make any sense.
I shivered in the cold room. I pulled my knees closer and hugged them tightly. My ragged white dress was of no help. It was old, dirty and ripped. It was the cleanest thing I had. I haven't gotten a chance in awhile to clean my clothes. My long raven dark hair ended at my mid-back. It wasn't tame at all. It wasn't even perfectly brushed.
I've never considered myself to be pretty. If there were any visitors (which is very, very rare) they'd usually grimace at the sight of me. No one could even tell I was pretty if I was. My face if usually covered in dirt from the day's chores. My hair is always a tangled mess, my clothes are all torn and I haven't any decent shoes.
I'm so out of place here. I'm the only woman for one thing. I'm not deformed like the orcs, I hate it here and I've tried all my life to runaway. I hate how Orthanc is filled to the capacity with hate. That's one of the reasons why I keep trying to escape. Although my attempts are futile, I keep trying.
I know I don't belong. I hardly remember what life was like before being a slave. I remember my parent's murder, though it's not something I like to think about, but I don't remember what they look like. I do know they had blue eyes like mine. And I remember that I was always called Belle. I don't know what it was short for but I had a name once. I defiantly know I'm an elf, but I don't know where I came from.
Around here I'm usually called 'slave' or 'girl' or 'child'. Sometimes even 'elfling' by Saruman. I considered 'girl' and 'child' to be terms of endearment. The others were nasty and I hated being called them.
There's not much to do in this dark, cold, dank dungeon other than think, scheme and try to keep my fears at bay. I'm no longer allowed in the kitchens nor any place where ropes are used. They've noticed that whenever I work with ropes one or two go missing. Always for an escape attempts.
Though I'm free of a beating, it doesn't mean security isn't going to be more than tripled with meaner orcs. And they'll be placed right outside my room for I don't know how long. I'll only be allowed out for chores, bathroom breaks and to eat. (If that right hasn't been taken away. Again.) Other than a chance to run while doing chores, which is very slight, I won't get another chance of escape until security dies down again. And that usually takes, on average, two to three months. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Depending on the offence and Saruman's mood toward me. This attempt wasn't very bad, though Saruman is going to be very angry with me for a while. After security is gone I'll have to wait another three to four weeks to earn back trust and wait longer for an open window. But those have been coming fewer and fewer.
But Saruman has become very distracted lately and has kept himself shut up in his study. This had left slackers unpunished and chances to escape without Saruman's knowledge, but there is always the orcs. They're getting bigger and bigger and meaner and more alert. Not good for me. I run risks of being trampled and always getting caught not doing my chores. Which is usually when I'm daydreaming about freedom.
But Saruman has given them permission to take over punishments. And they aren't reluctant to give them out. And they hit pretty hard and it's nearly impossible for me to outrun them. But of course I'm usually hurt.
I shivered again in the cold room. I cuddled closer to the wall, which didn't help at all. I felt smaller and my shaking grew as I touched more of the ice cold stone. The cold room is so unforgiving. Saruman has found a new way of punishment. He knows how afraid I am of small places. He's using it against me.
As I thought more and more about my other fears it became apparent that he knows them and with time after more escape attempts he'll use them all against me. The thought made me almost not want to escape again. But I want freedom so much. I could feel tears coming to my eyes as I debated. I let my tears slowly slide down my cheeks. I hugged my knees tightly.
Spiders, heights, closed spaces. He knows them all.
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