I do not own this song!
It is called "Sorrow" by Flyleaf
Sorrow
Sometimes life seems too quiet
Into paralyzing silence
There was a thick silence blanketing the cool night air. Time seemed to have froze: everything was quiet, nothing dared to move.
Like the moonless dark
Meant to make me strong
That night was that of the new moon—the night Inuyasha lost all of his youkai powers and senses, rendering him 'weak' (as he so bluntly put it). That night he was not a hanyou, but a mere human. Thus causing us—his friends—to confine him to a small place out of harms way.
During these times, I felt that I became all the more stronger: I had to use my full potential to protect Inuyasha—even though he would never admit that he was in need of protection. I believed that I grew stronger from these nights—they were there for my benefit. Perhaps none of us looked forward to the moonless nights, but that didn't stop us from accepting our reward of strength.
Familiar breath of my old lies
Since the group paid special care to stray from danger, there were usually no problems; that left me with time to think. I thought of the past and present, and sometimes even the future. I pondered my mistakes and regrets, my hopes and fears, and me and him. Would he ever see me they way I see him? Will he ever love me they way I love him? I clung to hope, but my doubts pushed me over the edge.
Changed the color in my eyes
Normally, my eyes would glaze over when I was in thought; most of the time, I would even begin to cry without even realizing it. But I kept it hidden from the others—if they did not know, they would not worry.
Soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by
My thoughts would sooner or later stray to Naraku. I feared that he would discover Inuyasha's night of weakness, that he would take advantage of this night. Somewhere, I knew that he would barge right in, killing us all to get to Inuyasha. This one thought never failed to terrify me.
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hold for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me
When my thoughts would come back to my precious hanyou, I would force myself to dwell on all of the good times we've had together; I would always remember him for those times. It was at these times—captured in the light of my thoughts—that I would feel complete, if only for a moment, while my soul soared with dreams of my future with Inuyasha. But those hopes were quickly swept away by anxiety.
Left alone with only reflections of my memory
To face the ugly girl that's smothering me
Those nights were now gone—only small bits of memories engraved into the depths of my mind was left. I was now alone: he was not here; all I had were my memories. Alone, as I am now, I am left to bare the sight of the girl I was ashamed to reveal.
Sitting closer than my pain
My past sins begin to devour my broken heart, numbing all emotions.
He knew each tear before it came
And when I would cry to myself, I would recall how upset he would get over my tears. I came to realize that he could not stand it when girls cried; he probably felt like shit when that happened. Along with his hanyou senses, he could always tell when I was crying—even after the tears had long since dried from my cheeks. But that was not the situation he found himself in, most of the time. More likely, it would be right before I began to cry: he would smell my oncoming tears and rush to comfort me. I could see him tearing in two when he witnessed me crying, but at that time, I did not pay much attention to it. Oh, how I wish I did.
Soon He will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by
Soon after my ponderings on this specific night, someone came. That someone came to ruin this moment, and ruin our lives along with it.
We kiss each other one more time
When Naraku showed up, we all went frantic. Inuyasha must have known something I didn't, for he came to me before going to face Naraku, and kissed me. He kissed me! It was our only other kiss we shared besides the time when he was turning full-demon and I kissed him to stop the transformation. What he seemed to know that I didn't, I would soon find out. That was the last kiss we would ever share…
And sing this lie that's halfway mine
He did not leave after kissing me like I thought he would. We stood there, staring stupidly at each other. Maybe it was my fault—maybe if he didn't kiss me, he might still be here.
Now that I think back on it, he looked about to ask me a question—very important and anticipated by the looks of it. Almost immediately after our moment, but before we could speak to one another, I heard a sound I never wanted to hear again: a pained grunt smothering an urge to howl in pain. Inuyasha's brown orbs grew wide with surprise and fear, his lips quivering in their clenched position.
Was it wrong that I wished my last sight of his eyes were golden instead of brown?
The sword is slicing through the question
His stiff form staggered for a moment, his eyes strained right over my shoulder, right past my head. He wasn't looking at me, and for some reason, that hurt me. When I heard another grunt from him, my eyes moved down from his face to see a rather large, and bloodied, sword protruding from his human chest.
Naraku's evil cackles were dead to my deaf ears; I was only focused on the man in front of me; the man dying in front of me. If this just wasn't his human night, he could probably make it. He has done it before.
The hands that gripped my upper arms slackened until they limply fell away to his sides.
So I won't be fooled by his angel light
The sun was rising; he would change back now. His human body was engulfed in a blinding white light as the sun showed itself in the dead sky. But I knew better than to hope—his transformation came too late to save him now. So I cried; I cried for him—I cried for us.
Sorrow lasts through this night
That night was a night of mourning.
I'll take this piece of you
And hold for all eternity
I looked down to see Inuyasha's red fire-rat haori clenched in my hands. He had shoved it into my arms when he was first alerted of Naraku's presence. I clutched the piece of cloth to my face and chest—the only piece of him I had left. I would never let it go.
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me
Up into the stars
My eyes still screwed shut, my head shot upwards towards the sky when I felt something fly through my whole being. For that short moment, I felt comfort; I felt love. But that moment passed, and his spirit flew on to his new life.
Joy will come
Later, long after this incident, life will fade back to normal, or as normal as it can get after his death. But not now; now is my time to mourn and cry myself to sleep night after night. Happiness and joy will come later, but I refuse to welcome it now.
Sometimes life seems too quiet
Into paralyzing silence
Like the moonless dark
Meant to make me strong
As I said before: those moonless nights made us all the more stronger. But that night was different from all the rest, that night was the biggest obstacle of my life. And I passed, just barely, but I passed. But that night, love died—a love that had no hope of resurrection—and I was the one left to suffer through living alone…
Truthfully, I am not very proud of this piece. I have never written a oneshot or a songfic, but I thought this song fit them perfectly and I found no other songfics with this song. So I made one. I am really bad at writing short stories (actually, I'm incapable of writing short stories) so I will struggle with oneshots and songfics. But I love music so much that I will make many more songfics!
Luv yall,
Muah!
