Willow Trevelyan had enough of her family poking into her life. It was almost a relief when she was sent to the Circle at such a young age. At least her family's influence couldn't reach her there. Except it did. It reached its slimy, clawed fingers around the barriers of the Circle and made it known who she was. Who she belonged to. When she was at the ripe age of fourteen, her parents started looking for a suitor. Someone to tame her.
Except… She didn't think they knew how the Circle worked. Willow had a distaste for her family's reach. For the influence that ran through the ties and the blood that travelled through her veins. It disgusted her when she looked in the mirror. Her eyes, a trait she shared with her mother. Blue eyes so often full of deceit, she often didn't trust her own.
It was almost a relief when the Circle was forced to disband. If her parents didn't know where she was, they couldn't bother her. Willow joined a rebel group that fought against the Templars. Much of her anger was thrown into her spells, making them more powerful. She felt free. Free. Even though the name Trevelyan still weighed on her shoulders. It marked her an outsider to this new, nomadic life. She needed a change. Something to distinguish herself.
First her name. Willow Trevelyan was and would always be her cage. It locked her in tightly, winding around her heart with a spell she couldn't break. "Shianna!" Willow yelled over the noise of the camp.
The tiny elf turned her head. "Yeah?"
"What's the Dalish word for freedom?"
Shianna looked at her for a moment. Her eyes narrowed in Willow's general direction, though they looked glazed over. Oh, shit. Did she offend Shianna by asking? "Why?" Shianna asked, focusing on Willow again.
"I…" It was hard to explain. She couldn't just outright say she was the daughter of a noble though she knew there were plenty of noble offspring in the rebel camp. They wore their surnames with pride, smug pleasure. Sure that their families would bring them back into the comfortable fold when the war was over. If the war ended.
Willow beckoned the elf to her side, got up and hid behind a rock. Shianna followed. "Are we playing hide 'n go seek?"
"No. I want to tell you something."
So Willow told her. Everything. Her family. The being hard pressed to find a husband when she preferred something else. Someone else. To the Circle meaning freedom and this being freedom. A fresh start. A change in who she was. Willow Trevelyan would no longer exist by the morning.
Shianna sat in silence for a few minutes, Willow resisting the urge to bite her nails. Did coming clean to the elf ruin her chances of making a friend? Was she disgusted by her? "Somniari," the elf said.
"Somniari?"
"It means dreamer. You didn't just get freedom, you're a dreamer. You've made it to this point and you'll make it beyond this point." Shianna put her hand on Somniari's.
"That's a mouthful," Somniari said, laughing. "Ni for short?"
"Ni it is. Nice to meet you, Ni. I'm Shianna."
By morning, Willow Trevelyan didn't exist.
AAA
"Could you do something else for me?" Ni asked.
Shianna rolled over to face her. "What?"
"Scar my face."
Shianna pulled back, disgust written on her face with narrowed eyebrows and turned down lips. "What now?"
It was hard for Ni to repeat herself. It came to her late at night. With a mirror, she still resembled Willow. The curve of her lips. Thin eyebrows. Sky blue eyes. Sculptured edge of her chin. Ni stayed silent, keeping her eyes on the elf. She mustn't waver.
"Ni, do you realize what you're asking?"
Ni got up and paced. "I do."
"I don't think you do."
"Shianna, the name isn't enough."
"And what if the scarring isn't enough? What then? Are you going to change your eye color too? Shave off your eyebrows?" Shianna stopped Ni from pacing. "You can't."
Her entire life, Ni was told she couldn't. She couldn't have a relationship outside what her family wanted. She couldn't have a relationship outside what her family wanted, couldn't follow her heart. It ended then. "Watch me."
Ni stalked off with a dagger in her hand. Her destination the river though she didn't know what she was would do when she got there. How does one go about carving into their face? Ni wasn't looking for a specific design. She didn't want it to be distinguishable. Just different.
When she got to the river, her reflection wavered at her. You can't. Ni carved.
It was like fire spreading across her cheek, scalp and lip. She didn't stop even when she watched the skin split under the dagger's edge. Even when the blood flowed down her neck, ruining her clothes. Even when she got a little too close to her eye for complete comfort. Slowly, under the silver gleam of the knife, she watched Willow fade away.
Ni sat back. She wanted to scream. Needed to scream. She screamed. And through the haze of her pain and the steam of the blood, she saw Shianna. Her guardian angel. Bright light and she was convinced she died.
Ni woke with only half her eyesight. Panic laced through her bloodstream, causing small jumps in her muscles. "Shhh," came a voice from her right. A soothing voice. "You certainly proved me wrong, didn't you?"
A small smile quirked at her lips, which pulled at her face. Ni wheezed. "How bad is it?"
"You'll survive, but the scars will be everlasting."
Ni didn't dare smile. She didn't dare bring attention to the happiness filling her chest. It sprung up like a new, dewy morning. Hope.
"I had to cut off your hair."
"You what?"
"Somehow you cut into your scalp and to properly treat it, I had to cut off your hair."
Ni put her hand to her head. Skin met skin where there used to be luxurious, thick locks. Now there was only a strip of stubble. "Do I look bad?"
"No. You have a nice head shape."
Ni's next movement surprised herself. Her hand blindly reached out for Shianna, wrapped her fingers around the base of her neck and kissed the elf.
It was only a moment. One that didn't last nearly long enough.
But the silence stretched on forever. Shianna sat on Ni's blindside. She said nothing. Statue still.
Say something! It was an eternity until Shianna spoke. Ni was sure stars died and were reborn again.
"Ni-"
"I'm sorry. I-"
Ni stumbled out of the tent, hitting things she didn't see. Her brain barely registered the pain as it registered the embarrassment.
Ni avoided Shiana. It helped when she got her left eyesight back and she could see the elf attempt to sneak up on her. When the leader wanted someone to go to the Conclave to run interference for the mages, or at least their group, she volunteered.
By midnight, she was gone.
