Summary: Set before the 100 year request. Lucy has given up onto Natsu. He abandoned her again when she needed him the most even if he had done the unspeakable. I am already Broken down inside Living with myself, nothing but lies But, I am not tied down by ghost of my past. Not anymore I once was on top of the world But never knew I'd Let it get so bad Living with myself Is all I have But I will move forward all thanks to the word you called to me once "Natsu"
Day 3: Cold and despair.
Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong To Hiro Mashima
Natsu walked out into the cold predawn air closing the door behind him gently, not wanting to wake up Happy. The snow laying around him like white marshmallow fluff. If his heart had not already broken it would do so now as he abandoned his best friend without a word or a note goodbye. Just like Igneel had done to him. He knew it was for the best, he could no longer stay in Magnolia and Happy would insist on coming with him. He could not take him from Carla and Lily and all the people that he loved. Wendy would take care of Happy, of that he was sure. Eventually he hoped Happy would come to understand why he had to leave. He hoped it. It was for the best after all. After all he could't undo what he had done.
He quickly checked to make sure he had all of his belongings mostly food being that is with him before he took one last look at the place he had called home. The sign that read Natsu & Happy exuded a cheer he no longer felt. Still, he tried to feel something through the numbness that had settled into his soul. He felt nothing, but then again he hadn't really expected to. How could he? He had given all. He shivered as the chill in the air settled uncomfortably on his exposed skin. He would need to get used to this feeling, find mundane ways to fight it off.
Cold. The word meant both nothing and everything to him. It was somethIng that he had never really felt physically, yet it also represented the one person he truly respected as a friend. He had never spoken those words out loud, never let him know how he felt, and now that he was leaving he never would. It was just as well, he was no longer worthy of love.
He examined the magic sealing bracelet he was wearing on his right wrist. He had not locked it yet, there was still one last task that required his magic. Then he would lock it and be burdened with his magic no more. He began walking towards the edge of town trying to beat the sun so that no one could see him leave. He almost succeeded. Ahead of him there was one person who had remained sober through all the recent events, mostly because he wasn't old enough to drink. And he had been watching.
Romeo Conbolt stood at the edge of town. He had been standing in this same spot for several hours not quite sure when Natsu was going to try to sneak out of town but aware that it would be on this day. The funeral had been yesterday and with the guilt he felt the Fire Dragon Slayer and was bound to take off. He alway's had saw Natsu as the person he wanted to be in the future after all.
"Where's Happy?" Romeo asked, his face saddened at the realisation that he had been correct. As it had gotten later he had started to hope that maybe he had been wrong.
"He's at home sleeping." Natsu replied looking down at the ground. He was not so far gone that he wasn't disgusted by his actions.
"You're leaving him behind? Did you at least tell him you were leaving?" Romeo demanded.
The way Natsu refused to meet his eyes was enough of an answer.
"Damnit, Natsu! You don't have to leave at all. It was not your fault!" He could feel his body shaken in anger.
"You're wrong Romeo. I don't deserve to live here any longer and Happy deserves a better life than what he would get where I'm going. I know he won't understand that at first but time dulls all wounds. It certainly did that for me."
"Did it?" Romeo kept trying to catch his eyes but one week as a guest of the Magic Council had taught Natsu to evade many things, and Romeo was still only a boy.
"Here." He handed Romeo the envelope he had been planning on mailing from the next town over, "I was going to mail this to you anyway. You are to open this only in an emergency by everybody and take care of them."
He gave the boy that he'd come to love as a younger brother a hug and made his way out of town. He did not look back and as he walked he removed his Fairy Tail tattoo from his right shoulder. He was not sure if they could use it to track him and he very much did not want to be found. A click was heard as he locked his bracelet, removing himself from his magic and from his heat. He felt the cold seep in immediately and thought of the last thing he had to do now he had to leave everyone behind.
'Now I just have to confront him. I am sorry everyone for what I have done.'
xxx
Jellal opened his eyes and instantly regretted it as the pounding in his head overwhelmed all of his senses and made him want to vomit. He looked around slowly, trying to nurse the massive hangover he had woken up to and determined he was sitting on one of the barstools in the local bar. He must have passed out again. He wasn't really surprised, he had woken up here every day for the last two weeks. The last few weeks had been anything but normal and he had spent them drowning in a haze of alcohol that had would even impressed Cana and Baccus. He wrinkled his nose at the pungent smell of booze and sweat and was disgusted to realize it was coming from him. He was rather impressed with the self restraint that Meredy must have shown by not dumping a barrel of soapy water over him. He got up and headed home for a shower, a change of clothes and a hell of a lot of aspirin.
It had been three weeks since the accident and no matter how much he drank Erza was still dead and everything had still gone to shit. It was time to man up and get back to some semblance of normalcy. He was still alive and he knew that Erza would not have wanted him to drown in sorrow. That was just the way she was. She was always someone to look at the bright side of things and guide him to the light.
Wendy had taken her death especially hard. She had not been able to stop it, none of them had. Not even Lucy. Natsu, of course, had taken it the worst. He blamed himself for her death, it had been his magic that killed her after all. No matter how much Lucy and Gray tried to tell him it was an accident the stubborn idiot would not accept it. They had spent most of that first week as guests of the Magic Council.
The Magic Council took mage's deaths very seriously, especially if they happened while performing duties for a guild. They immediately launched an investigation into Erza's death. Gray and Lucy had been placed in separate cells while Natsu had been placed in a magic sealing stone until Erza's death was finally determined accidental. He had been questioned daily, for hours at a time until Makarov had put a stop to it. Once they were released they tried to ask him about what happened during the interrogations but he refused to discuss had lost track of him after the funeral. They all returned to the guild for the wake, her friends from other guilds had also come to pay their respects. Milliana and her friends also had come bye to say goodbye to their beloved friend. Kagura had read one hell of a memories Luthen everyone had shared their favourite memories of Erza, sharing laughs about her amidst their tears as they said goodbye.
Jellal, Lucy, Natsu and Gray could not find it in their hearts to laugh. Her screams were still too fresh in their minds. Then the drinking had begun. Jellal thought that Natsu had been there when they discovered the temporary bliss of forgetting that the alcohol granted them. He thought he remembered a fight breaking out between Lucy and the Flame Brain but he couldn't be sure. He was already drunk by then.
Credits also by:
The Real You mdelpin, MiyuTanemura
