helo m8s. my name is Gary but u can call me XxX_Garusnipez_XxX. i am n elete noscoper of the FaZe klan. this is my story, a sotry i made 4 u mates, becuz Call of Dutty tot me that theres a souldier in all of us.
the stroy of how i got into FaZe klan is a long and pearlilous one filed with many wins and loses, freinds and enemys, butt most importantly, it is a cumming of age story, of a yung little noob into a MLG noscoper. this tory is not 4 the faint of hart.
. . .
it all stared in Nuketown on the origenal black ops i was playing alot of seach and destroy, my favrite game mode becuz u can here all the noobs cry wen u kill them. i was going ham witg a steakout and liteweight pro.
i ran out of the gren house and shot a rusher.
"aw u fukin scrub" i herd him say after i killed him wich didnt make sense cuz he was alredy ded. maybee he wuz illuminati?
(open ur eyes m8s)
suddenly i saw a grenade land next to me
"oh shit" I sed
"BOOM" the grenade sed as it killed me.
"fukin grenade spamers" i sed sadly
"you dont have the rite to talk, shotgun skrub" it was a familiar voice. it was. . . the kid from be4! his gt wuz XxXMLGchipotleXxX but thats a fukin long name so well call him chip
"u wot m8?" i sed
"u herd me, u noob" he sed back.
"im no noob im oficial FaZe m8" i sed back annoyed but i wuz lying i acually wasnt in FaZe yet
"bullshit" he sed back madly "1v1 me in quikscoping if youre oficial FaZe"
"Ok i will" i sed and left the game to set up a privete loby. i put it in Nuketown becuz it was a fun smal map and i wuz gonna have fun wreking this noob.
I invited chip to the game and he had the ballz to show up. i set it to 1000 ponts so whoeevr got 10 kills would win first
"wait up i wanna set up my class" chip sed so i waited
i slurped my montan dew and 8 a few doritoes becuz i was really scared becas i was bad at quikscoping. i new that backing down now wuld have ben cowurdly tho so i didnt
"alrite skrub prepear to get wrekt " he sed and i took that as a q to start the game
my hart was beeting in my chest but i couldnt tell if it was from the inpending doom or all the junk fod i 8. wen the game loaded i chose my snipper class which wos a L96A1 with infruhred sites and a macarov that i couldnt use. my perks were lightwait, slight of hand and marathon pro so i could go fast like sanic
i spawned behind the yello house on the Black Ops team and ran out to the midle of the map to look for him but he quikscoped me
"ha! first blod m8!" he sed exsitedly as he teabaged me. i wuz very embassered
i ran behind him wile he was stil teabaging my past life and quikscoped him
"alrite no more games m8" he sed furiosly
he theb agresivly hunted me down and kiled me until he had 900 ponts. i only had 100 ponts from that 1 time i killed him
"wow u suk m8 i new ud be a skrub just give up now" he taunted me pridfully
i only had 1 opshun and lowerud my hed to prey. "shrek, i need u" i openly sed not caring that the mic picked it up
"ha ur praying 4 shrek?" he sed. "Ur pathetic m8"
i w8ed and w8ed but shrek never came. then chip found me a quikscoped me, but i didn't die. i gapsed. i was in. . . SEKUND CHANSE! this wuz imposibull cuz i didnt have the perk equipped
"wut?" chip sed. he wuz confused. "oh well, i got u now
suddenly an all to familiar sent filed the room it was the sent of onyuns. "sry for beeng late lady i had some1 else to help." I herd a scottish voice sey. i smiled
"no it cant be" scremed chip as shrek bussed thru the wall. he was naked and ready. but that wasnt all becuz reznov bussed into the room to and he had a camra
"reznov? u work 4 shrek now?" i sed
"yeah m8 he saved me from vorkouta so im his camraman now" he sed hapily
"Kool m8" i sed and wached as shrek began to approch chip who looked nervus
he pulled out a detonator and sed in an desperet voise "dont make me call them in"
"call who?" we all sed
he presed the butun anyway even tho we stoped "im callin FaZe"
"im not scared of FaZe" sed shrek. now giv me ur buttcheks
suddenly a bunch of tropers came in and amed there guns at shrek "o rly?" one sed
shrek wasnt FAZED (geddit?) and turned at them. then he began to lawnch onyun juse out of his eshrekt dik like a minigun becuz it was cumming so fast their heds exploded
"try again, laddy" shrek smiled as he grabbed chip and impailed him on his dik. then he cam so much that he floded Nuketown with his onyun juse. even tho i wuz down, reznov grabed my hand and helpd me swim thru the cum to the surfase
i gapsed for bref at the surfase and lookd for land wen i saw a boat made of doritos with a pipe stuk on the top but it wasnt a normal pipe it wuz a STEAM pipe
i had just enuf energ to swim to the boat and climed on. i saw the pilot and it was. . .
"Gab Newell!?" i sed
"clime in Gary deez Steam sumer sails wont sell themselfs," lord gaben sed
yes lord gaben wuz drivin the steam boat made out of doritos becuz this is the onlee way to cunferm half life 3
shrek climed out of the see of his own jiss onto the boat followed by reznov. the son wuz setting on the horizon
"is it ogre" i sed
"no lady. its not ogre. its nevar ogre"
2 bee continud. . .
