A/N: So, this is of course a MacDick story. And it's actually not a one-shot, but with school and a job, I can't really say when the next chapter will be out. But lots of reviews always help (:

Disclaimer: Don't. Own. A. Thing.

Chapter 1:

You slap the door shut behind you and throw yourself down on the couch, placing your feet on top of Mac's thighs. She doesn't even glare at you as she shoves your feet off her, and you figure making a pitiful face will do no good, so you just sit back.

"Dude, it's been like forever since I banged a hot chick. These girls are all dogs!" you exclaims, sending her that cute pout, that all the girls dig. Really, you've got to try. "Seriously, I thought college girls were suppose to be fine, but nah, they're all like serious and "get your hands off me, creep!". The only ones who willing and ready makes Sporty Spice look good."

"What's wrong with Sporty Spice?" she asks defensively, staring hard at you.

You sent her a weird look. "She's like sporty and her boobs look kind of like mosquito bites," you state the obvious.

"That's really nice, Dick," she says and you just know she's about to fuss over something. "Have you ever considered, I don't know, getting to know a girl instead of just judging her from the way she looks?"

"I'm like, getting to know you, right?"

She raises an eyebrow. "You're saying I'm a dog?"

"Mackie, I already told you I would bang you, but you're all "No Dick, we're just friends"." You roll your eyes, because, really, this girl can be so lame. One minute she's mad because you would tap her ass, the next she's mad because you won't.

Complicated chick.

You don't even know why you're friends, probably because she's Veronica's friend and Veronica's cool enough these days. And Logan told you he'd kick your ass if you were a jackass to Mac. Dude, where's the loyalty? But you don't mind, actually Ghost World is a master at videogames and she has totally beaten you ass a number of times. A little challenge is always good.

A slap on your leg makes you look up again, and Mackie is looking all pissed off slash amused. "Thanks, I feel much better know."

"You're very welcome." You look at the television, groaning when you see she's watching some lame-ass animal-channel. You can only stand to look at the freakin' penguins for 30 seconds. "Why the fuck can't you be a normal chick and watch some girly TV-shows?"

"I'm sorry, am I keeping you from watching Gilmore Girls?" she asks, placing a hand over her mouth in mock-sorrow. "Aw, you must be so sad it got cancelled."

"Dude!" you yell, shaking your head. "Not Gilmore Girls, that tiny brunette chick is too serious anyway. Kind of like you, you really should get out more, Mackenzie."

"Shut up, jackass." She pauses, "I'll have you know I've got a date tonight."

You're pretty sure that your heart just stopped beating for a while. Dude, Mackie, Beaver's girlfriend, got a date. With a dude. Dude!

"Really? You're like… dating?" You nod your head slowly as you think about it. "That's like, you know, something." Another nod. "Awesome."

"Stop it before your start sounding too pleased for me," she says, watching you out of the corner of her eye for a moment. She shrugs, then, and turns back. "It's been almost a year; don't you think it's time?"

"No, it's awesome, really." Even you can hear that you sound totally not sincere and you try again, "Mackie likes a boy. So, who's he?"

Her hand is suddenly in the air, indicating you to stop. "Seriously, if you think I'm gonna talk to you about a boy, then you can think again," she says with a little smile on her lips. She looks cute, you think. At least a little. "You'll probably seek him out and totally embarrass me just for the fun of it."

Damn, the girl is smart. Well, the whole embarrassment-thing wasn't right, but she got the seeking out correct. Got to see if this guy is good enough for our Mackie, right?

"Come on, just want to see who the hell got you all hot and bothered."

"I'm not hot and bothered!" she yells.

You wince. "So he's nice but not really a looker, huh? It's all right, start at the bottom and then slowly work your way up, I get it." You readjust yourself, sitting up straighter and looking at her. "So, since we're friends now, you have to tell me what his name is. It's in the friends-rulebook or something."

She rolls her eyes perfectly, snorting in a kind of disgusting way. "How would you know?"

"Me and Logan has been friends since, like, forever. Or, you know, since he moved to Neptune."

"Logan and I."

"Huh?" You raise an eyebrow. What the frak is she talking about now?

"Never mind," she says and waves it off. Her lower lip is caught between her teeth like she always does when she's nervous or thinking really hard. It's kind of unhealthy, you think. "His name is Albert."

What?

"Albert?" you repeat, kind of disgusted by the name. "What lame-ass name is that?"

"It not lame, Dick," she answers, eyeing you with narrowed eyes.

"Dude, that is totally not my given name. It's Richard and that is much cooler than Albert."

"Great argument there, Dick." Her voice is freaking sarcastic. "You were just so smart to actually call yourself Dick."

Your hands are in the air and you're trying to calm her down. "Relax," you say. "I'm just saying, you know, it's a little gay."

"It's not gay!"

When you see her mad eyes and somewhat red face, you decide it's time to let it go. "Whatever." You turn your attention back to the television and are suddenly captures by the picture on the screen. A smile spreads across your face. "Dude, the penguins are totally nailing each other!"

Out of the corner of your eyes you see her shaking her head while fighting to keep a smile off her face. Finally she decides to get up, mumbling something to herself as she goes to the bathroom.

You shrug. Chick's a weirdo.

--

You take a long sloppy sip of your beer. It's totally not your first and your head are kind of throbbing. Just slightly, you know. It's awesome.

"Dude, you're totally cheating," you say, your eyes strained on the screen.

"Don't lie, Dick, it's not Kristen. Just admit it, you're loosing."

"Nah, this is my game, man. I'm the king and you're just one of my tiny unimportant slaves," you say as you press the button hard. "Kiss my ass, man."

Logan laughs at you, but you ignore it. "Sure. So, when's Mac coming over?"

You pause, only for like a second, and then shrug. "She's not."

"No?"

"Nope."

"Huh." He frowns, thinking for a moment or so it looks like. "She got a big important project, that wins in the competition School versus Dick? It's a no brainer, really."

So, this guy is your best friend, yeah, but he's starting to piss you off. She's not coming, end of it. "Nah, no project, and even if there was, I would totally beat school's ass."

He nods his head. "You… had a fight?"

"No fight."

"You didn't try to, you know?" he says, and when you stare at him blankly, he continues, "Make a move on her?"

You throw the controller down and look up at him angrily. "Logan! Chick's not coming over, that's it. Okay? End of it! You're starting you sound like you have a thing for her or something. Better stop it before it gets too out of hand; I don't think Ronnie does threesomes."

He pushes your shoulder. Hard. Fuck! "Shut up. I just think it's weird, you're always together."

A shrug is all he gets from you. Well, maybe you're together a lot. But always? Dude, it's not like you're glued together at the hip. You see other people. Totally. She's not there, when you're banging some chick. And that happens plenty of times.

"So, where is she then?"

You mumble something, accidentally low, of course, and he looks at you weirdly. Fuck, when did Logan become such a pain in the ass?

"I'm sorry, I'm not a dog. My hearing skills aint all that grand," he jokes, though looking kind of seriously.

You look away, just… because. "She's. Got. A. Date."

"Fuck."

You don't say anything, though you kind of feel the same way. Mackie isn't supposed to date. It's just the way it goes. Guys don't touch Mac. Guys, with a few exceptions like you, Logan, Wallace and that weird Piz-guy, don't talk to Mac. And guys totally do not date Mac.

He grabs a freakin bottle of water, dude's so non-wasted right now. "That's… Huge." And he's like stuttering and shit. Why the fuck does he cares? "So, she's over... it?"

"Apparently." You guess, taking a sip of your beer. "What kind of name is Albert, anyway?"

Logan suddenly chokes, the water spilling out of his mouth and he laughs as he wipes his mouth with his hand. You join him, giggling a little to yourself. Dude, Albert!

"His name is Albert?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh yeah." You shake your head disapprovingly. "He's probably some big nerdy geek, who doesn't even dare touch a girl. Totally her type…" Suddenly, you get an amazing idea and you smile. "We should, like, go check this guy out. See what he's about."

Logan raises an eyebrow. "You think Mac would be happy about that?"

"I think Mackie would beat our asses. If she sees us." The smile widens when you see a glimpse of curiosity in your pal's eyes. "Dude, she's not even gonna know we're there! I've learned a few tricks from your spy-girlfriend."

"Detective."

"Whatever." Like you care. "You're in?"

He only smiles, and you throw back the rest of your beer before grinning back.

--

"Okay, so tell me exactly how you define 'nerd'. Short scrawny guy, thick black glasses and greasy hair?"

"And lame clothes," you add with a nod.

"Thought so." Logan nods his head, his eyes staring at something ahead of you. You can't really see, this fucking tree is totally in the way. Who the fuck goes picnic-ing for a date, anyways? Lame-o.

"Fuck," you say as you're suddenly hit with a leaf in the eye.

"Right. So a nerd is someone short and scrawny with thick dark glasses and greasy hair, who wears lame clothes. Yeah… I don't really think Albert goes under that category."

Immediately you turn your gaze to where Logan is looking, pushing away all these freaking leaves and your eyes land on two people. Mackie's there, all dressed up and looking cutesy with some slimebag. He's got his hands all over her, freaking touching her arm.

"Dick?"

You vaguely hear Logan's voice.

"What kind of jackass is he?" you ask. "Look at him!"

Logan does so, staring a few second before turning back to you. "I'm pretty sure this is what most girls would describe as a handsome looking guy," he concludes.

"Handsome, my ass."

You look at him again, and really, he might not be ass-ugly. So, yeah, dark thick hair, kind of well build and not lame-ass clothes. That's what chicks dig, right? Though you think blonde hair is much hotter. Brown hair is just kind of dull. And lame. And his is kind of curly. Faggot.

Your fist clenches by your side. He keeps on touching her. Who the fuck does he think he is?

"Shouldn't he be, like, singing 'I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby'?" you ask, not really surprised when Logan doesn't answer. "He's, like, all touchy-feely. Mac hates that, she's gonna kick his ass soon. Poor guy probably didn't even see it coming."

"Yeah, Mac will handle it." His voice is all insincere and uncertain, even you can hear it. "Maybe we should just go."

"Right, you are."

"Great, so, Mac's fine, all is-"

"Let's go say 'hello', introduce ourselves," you suggest, already taking a few steps forward.

Logan is shaking his head, fucking wuss. "Dick, don't."

"Hey, if they're gonna be all serious, then we should get to know this guy, right?" It's true, really. Mac is your friend; it's totally in the friends-rulebook. 'Though shall get to know your friend's boyfriend/girlfriend' or something.

You don't look back at the Logan even as he shouts your fucking name. Mac only sees you when you sit down on the blanket with them, right between them. Dude, Albert's face looks kind of funny and you grin to yourself.

"Hi Mackie," you say, clapping her shoulder a few times. You turn to Albert with a raised eyebrow, "You must be Albert? Dude, I'm sorry, that has got to be rough. Lame parents, huh?"

"Dick…"

"Anyway, I'm Richard or Dick, you know. Some people call me The Man. Whichever you like." Another person seats himself beside you and you know it is Logan. "And this jackass is Logan; we're Mackie's best friends. We're like this," you say and show him your crosses fingers.

Albert looking at you like you're a freak. "O-kay."

Who's the freak here, Mr Cop a feel?

"So, what are you doing? Having a little picnic? Nice." Picking up a sandwich, you look at it closely. "Dude, this is tuna, Mac doesn't do tuna. You mind if I take a bite? No? Thanks a lot, pal." You clap him on the back with one hand as you shove the sandwich into your mouth with the other.

"Right. So, guys." It's Mac, you see her looking at Logan, then you and finally back to Logan. "What are you doing here?"

"Dick wanted to say hello," Logan says, looking apologetic at her.

She's staring at you, looking really pissed of. You sent her your famous smirk. "Well, hello. Now, you can, you know… go. Do something manly; hit a strip club, play some videogames, get drunk?" She shakes her head. "I don't know, what guys do."

You snort; Mackie's trying to ditch you. Not. Gonna. Happen. "So, Albert, what do you do? Where did you guys meet? Was it love at first sight?"

"Actually, we-"

"-no, wait, let me guess." You hold up a hand, and he stops. "In class, right? Mackenzie is such a bore sometimes, partying aint her thing. But it's cool; she is seriously talented when it comes to videogames. Beat my ass several times."

"Or maybe you just aren't all that great, Dick," Logan says, smiling when you sent him a look.

"Actually, we met at a party," Mac continues, staring at you with hard cold eyes. A part of you feel like shit for making her this pissed, but another part of you want to keep going. "Yes, Dick, I actually do attend parties."

You pout. "Without me?"

"Yeah," she answers simply.

Nodding your head, you look at Albert. "So, tell me Albert, since we're going to be hanging out a lot, can I call you Al? No, wait, Bert." You pause, making a face. "You know what? Never mind. So Albert, what exactly are your intensions toward our girl? You know-"

"-Dick, seriously, stop."

You don't even look at her, you think you'll explode soon. There this totally bizarre feeling in your chest. And you don't even get why. "Mac, she's a bitchin' girl, really something. But ever since my br-"

Logan clams a hand over your mouth and you don't hesitate before biting his fucking hand. If you could bite if off, you would. He's supposed to be on your side! Fucking traitor.

"Dick!" he exclaims as he pulls it away, holding it preciously.

"-Dick, I need to speak to you right now," Mac says, her voice as cold as ice. You don't object, just stands up and hold your hand out. She stands up and walks away without taking it.

"So, what's up?" you say, all nonchalant.

"Are you drunk?"

"Nah, I'm so sober it's ridiculous," you say and shrug. "Only had like three beers."

She nods her head, slowly and in that 'I can't fucking believe you' - way. "Then why are you being such a jackass?"

"What?" you say. It's expected of you.

"What the hell are you doing, Dick? You can't talk to him like that, without any respect!" she almost screams and if it weren't for the fact that you're sure Mac would beat your ass, you would have covered your ears.

"Respect?" You frown, laughing miserably. "I saw him trying to feel you up; I don't think he deserves my respect."

"You threat me like I'm a little girl and you're my daddy, taking care of me! I'm 19, Dick, I'm a grown-up," she tells you like that's any news. "I go to parties, I talk to guys and I've had sex. Several times! You don't need to threat me like I'm made of freaking glass!"

So, your heart aches a little. Or perhaps it's your head. Whatever. "Fuck, I'm sorry for trying to look after you," you answer back sarcastically.

"You're not looking after me; you're just screwing up something that could have been really good for me. Albert is a good guy."

"Well, fuck, congrats!"

She shakes her head. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing. Everything is just fucking fantastic. Sorry for messing up your groove. I'll just leave you and loverboy alone now, then you can get in the mood for some dirty dancing or a little love making," you spit out the words.

"Dick-"

"-No, it's fine." Dude, of course it not fine. You know that, she knows that. Everyone knows that. "Glad to see you're over my brother. Fucking great that you're over it all! I'll see you when I see you."

You turn around, trying to ignore the look of hurt on Mackie's face. This is why you're not friends with chicks, they're so fucking frustrating! Your feet speeds up and when you're around the corner, you punch the freaking stone-wall.

"Fuck!" you curse for the hundredth time today, you're sure.

You pretty much hate the fact that the look on Mackie's face hurts more than your bloody fist.