Horry Pattor and the Goblet of Whatever
The Puzzle House
The villagers of Little Hangleton called it the 'Puzzle House' even though no one by the name of Puzzle lived there. Of course, there was definitely something in the water of Little Hangleton, and the villagers were all extremely thick as a consequence. One day, a long time ago, there was a murder in the house. All the mean people that lived there died, and there was much rejoicing (yay!)
After the parties died down and the people had recovered from their hangovers, they tried to figure out who did it. One villager, by the name of Frankly Boring, had worked at the puzzle house for several centuries, so the police decided he did it. He was charged, beaten with pointy sticks and made to pay more tax. Frankly Boring was understandably pissed about this, so he never went to the village again. You may be thinking, "How did he get his groceries?" Well, he ordered them over the Internet and had them delivered. Before the Internet, he just yelled really loudly.
One fine, bright, sunny night, Frankly was sitting in his lonely little hut thing when he saw a light on in the house. Being a moron of gargantuan proportions, he decided against calling the police (he had a slight problem with paranoia and was certain the police were really aliens in disguise, sent to take over the world) and walked up to the house himself. He didn't even tell anyone where he was going- mainly because he thought people sucked. Plus, he thought that the people in the house were teenagers, and if no one knew he was up there he could murder them without having to worry. It seemed that the villagers suspicions about him weren't without grounds. Despite all this, it was a very stupid thing to do.
Of course, stupidity has its rewards. Frankly found out a good many things about the world that he wouldn't otherwise have known. The only downside was that he was killed. Oh well.
