Summary: When a meteor comes crashing down from space, Dr. Scratchansniff suddenly finds himself in the weirdest sci-fi space odyssey of all time. And he is forced to bring along the most annoying children in the history of the universe.
Offical Disclaimer for "Doctor... Who?!" - Please, note that this is a fan-fiction. None of these facts about anything I mention or the lovable Doctor on Animaniacs is particularly true. I own nothing I bring up in this fiction. Nothing in this fan fiction, do you hear me?! I should only have to say this once.
Anna's Note: Welcome to "Doctor... Who?!" my name's Anna and I'll be your grammatically challenged authoress! Welcome aboard "Doctor... Who?!" we hope you enjoy your chapter. Anna Padilla asks you to keep your hands and legs inside the fan-fiction at all times. Please remain seated until the chapter has come to a complete stop. We ask this only for your safety, thank you, and enjoy the ride!
Some have said that there's no possible way for a child to be frightening. Maybe freaky- with long black hair and a ghostly like appearance, they could be freaky. But for the most part children aren't the best way to scare a person. They can always dream of scaring adults out of their wits, but let's face it they're too cute. The only way you might be able to scare someone with a child, is if you had them dangling over an apartment veranda, and even then most would be scared for the child, rather than of the child. However, this is beside the point, which is that it's almost entirely pointless to try and use a child to scare someone.
Obviously, these types of people have never- in their entire existence- met the three that he was dealing with. Most people had taunted him, while the rest pitied him. One of the greatest psychoanalysts in the history of Hollywood had somehow, unfortunately, been forced to deal with the three children who give the words "fear" and "chaos" a whole new meaning.
Otto Von Scratchansniff was born and raised in Vienna, Austria (it's very unclear which date he had been born now, seeing as false tales had been flying around that the man is around his one-hundreds). As a boy, he had gained interest in Hollywood, as many do. After all, it is the center of the media world. Although it had gained his attention, Otto later noticed that from the off-camera media, stars seemed to have all sorts of problems. Not just with regular issues, but psychological problems, and being a generous, smart, and ambitious man Otto gained even more fascination in the psychology field.
He applied and was accepted into the "University of Vienna" to study in the department of Psychology. When Otto finally moved over into the United States and into Los Angeles, California, the Doctor was hired at the Warner Brothers Studio in Burbank. At that moment in time Otto was introduced into the world of Toontown, which was something he had not been prepared for. He started denying cartoon characters after too many close encounters with the Tasmanian Devil. He moved even further with his human star therapy. After many successful treatments, the Doctor never saw the matter on his hands that would be bigger than anything he had ever imagined.
Who had ever known that through his great scholar achievement, and breakthroughs he would end up babysitting?
It had been one faithful day that the three had approached him through his window. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot, three odd but fascinating black and white toons had come to not only greet him, but to make his life a living hell. Only about a half of an hour later, Otto was put in charge of the three, to calm them down, and try to make them more sensible. This was no easy task, and through his ego it took the Doctor a couple of years to finally realize that he had met his match.
This day was the day that he had finally noticed it. When he opened his eyes from his sleep earlier that morning, he had seen it all. All of the time the Doctor had been in Hollywood, he never realized how much he was full of himself. He had dreamed of curing everyone's problems, and had the desire to fix broken people. This was the day he realized that everyone would always have problems.
He hadn't felt that way since Britney Spears had stepped into his office. But no, this time it seemed ten times worse. See, on that day he felt like he couldn't cure Britney's problems; this time he had been drilling it into his head that he couldn't cure anyone's problems.
As he had gotten ready for the day nothing but dread, and thoughts of failure. It was all buzzing around inside his head. Even as he drove to work, the bald Doctor couldn't think of anything else but how he had failed with the Warners. There was absolutely nothing he could do for them.
He had no more answers, no more prescriptions. Otto was almost sick of it. He decided he was done.
Yakko, Wakko, and Dot could never be treated. They were toons, and he was done with them. He would never be able to get the three to sit down and have a civilized conversation. They wouldn't even do it for a million dollars- well, maybe Yakko would- but he didn't want to even bother. Otto jerked his car to a stop when he realized the small panel in front of the entrance was blocking him from retirement.
Looking over to Ralph, the fat security guard, he flashed a quick smile. After knocking over some doughnuts onto his bulging gut, rather than the floor, he found the button to pull up the barrier, and Otto drove inside. It only took him a millisecond to realize which entrance he had pulled into, and instantly regretted it. He looked nervously up at the towering white, cold, water tower, which bore the Warner Brothers logo, before he peeled out to the closest edge to a sound stage. He was lucky that no tour guides were on their way to the costume museum as he pulled off the stunt.
In fact, the part of the studio he was in seemed… awfully empty. Which wasn't a good sign for Scratchansniff.
Suddenly the Doctor tensed when he felt weight on the back end of the car, and stamped down the gas when he heard fits of giggles. He made a right and almost ran over a few workers riding on their bicycles in the road. Otto yelled in terror as he tried to avoid everything imaginable, people, props, and parts of sets of every kind. He ripped up the road, and decided to take another right in the maze of sound stages. When he stopped immediately he was beside his office, and in front of the main offices. This didn't interest him at the moment; his jaw slacked a bit when three black blurs tumbled down to the front of his car, hard on the cement in front of it.
Otto forced the door open and rushed to the front of the car, finding his three patients; Yakko, Wakko, and Dot groaning as they propped themselves up. Wakko, the middle sibling fixed his gloved hand on his hat, in an attempt to steady himself as he giggled, "Whooo… That was fun…" He said.
"Yeah, I guess it was- if you like to be thrown from the backside of a car to the pavement…" Yakko, the oldest commented, as he helped himself and his sister on their feet.
After dusting off her pink skirt with her white gloves, "What kind of message are you trying to send to the readers? That it's okay to drive like a fanatic through the Warner Brothers Lot??" The youngest, Dot, objected to the Doctor, scowling and leaning in his direction.
Raising an eyebrow to his sister and shoving his hands in his khaki pockets, "I think you'd be surprised how many movies and books have already sent that message…" Yakko said.
Wakko popped up right beside his brother, "Want me to list 'em off?" He asked in his Liverpool accent, while in his hand was a list that almost on queue, had rolled to the ground and clear to the other side of the street.
Now would probably be a good time to mention that the author of this fan fiction is in no way responsible of sending that kind of a message. The only message I've ever sent were thank yous to relatives. Along with a letter to Iceland.
"I haf no time to be dilly-dallying, I must she Mizter Plotz." The Doctor said as he was about to stomp off.
Otto had no choice but to face Yakko as his narrowed black eyes, and his charming white-framed face was in front of him, holding him back with both gloved hands. "Heeey, Scratchy, what's the big rush? It's a beau-ti-ful day! Why not relaaaax…?" He asked.
"I cannot, right now Yakko," Scratchansniff claimed, "I must go now." He said.
He watched the shirt-less creature shrug his black shoulders, "Alright, if you say so." Yakko said.
"We'll go with you!" Wakko piped up before Otto could move.
"Oh nononono…" The Doctor said, while shaking his head.
Dot decided to jump into the man's arms and bat her pretty black eyes, and show her dimples as she smiled. "Aw, come on, pleaaase?" She asked in her highest pitch.
The doc opened his mouth, but Yakko filled it with words, "We haven't seen T.P. in a while, why not take the whole family?" He asked.
"You are not my kids!" The Doctor roared, as he dropped Dot on the gravel and stomped over her. "I haf to go, right now!" He shouted back at them.
For a moment, the Warners looked after him with blank expressions. Wakko was the first to smile and wave. "Alright then, we'll be here when ya get back!" He called.
That phrase made the Doctor's entire body pause for a few moments. He stared at the glass door as his mind wandered. He shook his head and walked to the door, and opened it. He swallowed hard as he walked past the secretary, and when he finally got there, threw open the double doors to confront Plotz.
"Go away I'm busy!!" Came a harsh voice from the desk buried in papers. The Doctor ignored the request, and merely closed the doors behind him. "What'reyou, deaf?! I said-!" As the balding chairman got out of his chair to face the intruder, he noticed it was his psychiatrist. "Oooh! Why, hello Scratchansniff!" After adjusting his red tie and blue jacket, "Come on in and sit down, I've been meaning to see you…" He smiled.
The Doctor quietly walked up to the desk and sat down, in the only other chair in the huge room. Mr. Plotz had disappeared from behind his desk, until fingers had parted the sea of papers so he could have a view of the Doctor. When Otto blinked, his boss's face was blaring red.
"Do you realize how much damage the Warners have caused this studio?! It's almost been a century, and the Warners haven't even stopped long enough to look at the weather!!" The small, pudgy man yelled. "You have been telling me for the past six months you have those three under control!" Suddenly the Doctor had a picture being waved in front of his face. The picture had all three of the children on ropes doodling on one of the massive TV advertisement posters for "Ellen", right outside of the studio walls, "Does this look like 'control' to you??" Plotz asked in a strained and desperate voice.
The Doctor tried hard not to laugh at the picture of Yakko painting a large mustache on Ellen's upper lip, and instead fixed his posture and cleared his throat. "I've come to a final conclusion Misther Plotz. Vone zat vill shurly vork…" He said as he stood above his boss as he began to calm.
"Go on Scratchansniff…" As he took out a rag just to absorb the sweat on his face.
"I quit!"
Plotz eyes widened, and his mouth hung a bit. "W- wha??"
"Ze Varners are not curable! Zey are cooky in ze head- and alvays vill be!! I've finally haf come to ze conclusion zat no matter vho yous hire, it does not matter how many locks zat you vrap avound zat voater tover, zey will alvayz be kooky!! Und I am zrough with yous! Und I'm zrough viths zem!! Good, bye!" The Doctor shouted as he stormed back to the doors.
"Uheh, we- well good riddance!! You're just a- a nuisance to this whole studio! Yeah!" The chairman retorted as the doors closed.
Otto gave the secretary his Warner Brothers Studio pass, and the keys to his office, and his on the studio mailbox. Just before the secretary was about to call for a guard to escort him out, Otto politely asked if he could say goodbye to a few friends, and then be escorted. She nodded and watched as the Doctor went through the doors, with his head low.
He looked up and found the three Warners sitting casually and talking to one another on the hood of his car. Otto avoided eye contact and slipped away into his office, amazingly without the Warners even glancing his way. He looked in front of him to find a certain beautiful curvy blonde behind her desk, typing away on the computer. She looked up with her blue eyes and smiled, stretching her red lipstick.
"Hello Doctor, it was about time you got in." She said in her sweet voice.
With no words, Otto walked up to the Nurse's desk. It took him awhile, but he eventually spoke, "I- … Yous can leave now… Miss Nurse…" He said.
She gave him a surprised expression. "What do you mean?" She asked.
"I quit, I don't vork here anymore. Yous can leave." He said.
As he turned to his office she got up to follow him. "But, how, you just quit? Why? The Otto I knew was passionate about his work…" She said with deep concern.
He brought out a box from under his table, and started packing away his stuff. That's when a sudden realization came over the Nurse. "You've been planning this? You're… you're just going to walk out? What about the Warners?" She asked.
"Vat about zem? Zey are uncurable. Zere's nozing I can do… Plotz vas about to fire me because of it…" He said as he began to place books in his box.
"But Doctor, what will I…"
"Nurse!" Otto stopped to turn to H.N. "Nurse… do vat yous alvays vanted to do…" The blonde's eyes widened at the Doctor. "Yous have a talent, I don't know vhy yous are sho afraid…" as he turned back to his books, "Maybe, rejection?" He asked.
The baby blue eyes trailed to the floor, and to her white shoes with those white bows. "Yes…" She admitted.
"Vell, so vat if zey reject yous, keep doings it, if zat is vat you love ze most…" He said.
After a few moments of silence Hello looked up at the Doctor. "Does that mean you'll still do Psychiatry?" She asked almost hopefully.
He laughed. "I'm in need of ze retirement… I'm done." He said. At that moment the Doctor picked up his folder full of his excessive notes, titled "Celebrities" and put it away, then he used two hands to pick up a bigger binder with the title of "Warners" on the front. When he finally put it inside the box he looked at the last item, his golden bust… statue, that is. He put it inside the box and prepared himself to lift the box up.
After a moment he put his fingers under the sides of the box and picked it up. The Nurse moved away from the door, and opened the next one for him as he wobbled out to his car.
"See, what'd I tell ya, I told you he'd come and see us when he wanted to!" The Doctor heard Yakko exclaim.
"Do'ya need help Dr. Scratchansniff?" Wakko asked.
He heard Dot's voice next, "What's the box for?" She asked.
"Did Plotz move ya to a new office?" Yakko reasoned.
"No." Otto wheezed. When he was in front of the car's back seat door, he dropped the box and opened the door.
"Are you making room for new toys?" Dot asked, coming around to the door to watch the Doctor.
"No." He told her before he picked up the box and shoved it into the backseat.
"Well then what're you doing?" Wakko asked.
As soon as the Doctor closed the door, he turned around to find all three of them in front of them. He looked at each of their wide, cruel, but somehow innocent eyes. "I'm leaving." He tried.
With a raised eyebrow, "This early?" Yakko asked.
"You just got here!" Dot pointed out, almost discouraged.
Wakko's tongue poked out of his mouth. "Well, you'll be back tomorrow though, right?" He asked.
Scratchy was silent, he shook his head, opened the driver door, and climbed inside. He turned on the car as they kept their eyes locked on his head. It was like trying to avoid eye contact with three innocent looking puppies in the city pound. He felt like he had to use all of his strength to drive away, and not look back.
He drove up to the larger gate and stopped as the guard at his station lazily pushed the button to open it. The Doctor took a breath of air and turned around, the three still sat there, looking straight at him. He turned away and continued forward before enveloping himself in the traffic. He stopped again and looked back, and found that the three were gone. Otto panicked a bit and began to look around inside his car, then quickly got out to search his car. He breathed a sigh and got back inside to relax.
Deciding for himself that they must have went back to the tower, or must have gone to see Hello Nurse, he made a left as the signal turned green. The Doctor drove on and stopped at another light, and looked at the two huge walls with all the advertisements. He smiled to himself, but shook his head; he couldn't miss them yet. The doctor wasn't even fired/hadn't quit, for thirty minutes!
Suddenly out of the corner of his eye he saw black blurs trailing him on top of the wall, he turned and looked to find Yakko Wakko and Dot standing on the first wall and waving frantically. He rolled down the window and glared at them, until he heard their words; "Don't leave Scratchy!!" Yakko's voice shouted.
But the honking of a horn had drowned out Dot's voice as she yelled to him. He drove on for a bit, watching the Warners jump in surprise and begin to follow him along the second wall.
"We love you!!" Wakko hollered.
With that the Doctor pulled over into the next lane and turned down a street to park. He got out of his car and glared at them. "Go avay! I'm leaving vezer yous like it or not!!" He yelled to them.
"Whaat?? You want us to come with you??" Yakko shouted.
Otto knew he was smirking, perhaps even grinning, even though he could barely see their faces, he knew Yakko was putting words in his mouth for fun. "Noo!!" He shouted.
"Okay!!" The three yelled in unison.
He watched as Dot tightly secured three individual ropes around their wastes, and prepared to hop down from the wall. The Doctor groaned in frustration, and paced as the three climbed down from the wall. Behind Otto, security guards from the entrance spotted them and called the security guys on break next to the building to go after them. The Doctor grumbled fiercely as he planned what to say to them.
While behind him, the Warners made faces at the guards, a rookie nervously pointed a gun at the three and they mocked him with their best "shocked" expressions, and then laughed at them all.
Yakko untied his knot and landed to the ground; like a graceful cat he landed on his feet. Above him Wakko untied his knot and landed on his shoulders, in which Yakko almost fell over, but regained his posture just before they inched over and had Dot sit on Wakko's shoulders.
Dot towered over the guards and asked a simple question, "Wanna see my pet?" she asked.
Suddenly from a small box came a huge green, slimy one-eyed monster that opened its pink lips to reveal thousands maybe even millions of small sharp teeth, to roar at the group of guards. Frightened, they all ran away, with the Warners laughing at them. The pet retracted into the small box, and Dot put it behind her back.
The light turned red and the cross walk turned for them to go, and they raced to Scratchy. All three of them tackled his waist, and began to laugh. "Come on Scratchy let us come with you!" Yakko exclaimed.
"No! Get off ofs me!" The Doctor yelled.
On queue the Warners let go of him and stood in front of him. The Doctor sighed, "Please dun't make zis uny harder zan it iz…" He said.
"Scratchy, please come back. Maybe if we put on a good show for Plotz he'll let you back in!" Yakko suggested.
When he opened his mouth, he closed it, and realized that if they had talked with H.N. she probably didn't tell them the other part of the story, the part where he actually wanted to leave. As soon as he realized that, he thought about saying it, hell, he thought about yelling it. However, something held him back. Otto couldn't tell if it was the set of eyes on him, or the delusion that they thought he was their best friend.
He knew he wasn't their best friend, he couldn't have been. Friends don't get as frustrated as he did every single day when he was with them. He knew that friends perhaps would sometimes get into disagreements, but not as much as he did with them. Then, he thought about something he hadn't-, which was looking at it from their perspective. Otto had a deep feeling he knew just enough to scrape up something, but it was down there… way down there.
To them, he could only imagine Otto Von Scratchansniff as being a sometimes cranky, wrinkly bald old, but very kind man.
His attitude had done a one eighty, as he placed a smile on his face and hugged the three, and laughed. "Yous three are sho silly! Juz becuz I dun't vork 'ere, doesn't mean I can't oh how yous say, 'hang around'!" Otto said.
The Doctor rose to his feet to see the Warners with gaping grins on their faces, as they looked to Otto and took turns looking at one another. "Whoo-hoo!" They celebrated.
"Firz zing tomorrow, ve vill have a picinic! Juz meet me 'ere und ve'll go, ja?"
"Yeah!" The three exclaimed in unison.
"Now goez off und back to ze vater tover ja?" He said as he turned them around and brushed them to the curb.
Almost like the lights were possessed, the crosswalk had changed just for the Warners and they crossed the street, waving good-bye to the Doctor. He watched them walk passed the guard station and make faces at the guards, causing them to shudder, and some to cower.
Otto walked around his car and opened the back seat, and went through his box. He pulled out something and closed the door, and opened the driver door. As soon as he sat down he placed the object in the passenger seat, and started the car. He looked and smiled at the seat holding the black folder with the label "Warners" on it, with his eyes on the road he made a u-turn to the light and drove off, blending into the traffic.
Maybe, just maybe, they weren't so bad.
A.N. More chapters to come - this isn't a one-shot. Please, if you leave a review, make it an intelligent one. I don't mean to insult anyone's I.Q. but I can't stand reviews with cussing or n00b talk. Only I do the n00b talking around here...
So, as the n00bs would say; "RnR PLZ, K THX i luv u BUH-BAI!1"
