Author: Kristin
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: They're not mine, wish they were, they belong to the wonderful Hank
A/N: Thanks to D for encouraging me to post this, otherwise it probably would've continued to sit on my hard drive burning up memory. BTW, the names of the three stars are a reference to the conversation Danny had with the little boy in the ep, Silent Partner
Summary: Danny reflects on what he's lost
*****
"Do you miss them?"
"I miss her. I miss --"
His gloved hands move to his mouth as he exhales, breathing a burst of warm air between his skin. His nose is red and numb, but he barely notices as he stands in the snow.
"I miss her laugh, her voice...her Christmas cookies."
She chuckles with him as they stand in the cemetery on Christmas Eve. Her eyes leave the two gray headstones for a moment to travel around the expanse of the quiet landscape, falling on a man, young, kneeling before a tiny marker where he places a bouqet of flowers in solemn remembrance before returning to a confident stand as he whispers a final goodbye.
He remembers hating his mother's nickname for him. Danny boy. He remembers cringing and rolling his eyes and her smirk at his disgust.
He remembers missing it, most of all, when he no longer heard it. When he suddenly forgot what it sounded like. He barely remembers being young. When he thinks of youth, he thinks of his mother. She was there for most of it. But she wasn't there long enough. Not nearly long enough.
"You wanna head back, eat some dinner? I'll cook."
He doesn't answer for a moment, and she buries her hands deep within her pockets, leaning against him to ease the pressure on her leg. It reminds her all too well of how close she'd come to being one of these cold, gray markers protruding from the sodden earth.
He smiles a bit, pretending for a moment his mother will greet him with a freshly baked batch of cookies to close off the night.
"Her name was Daniella."
"Who?"
"My mother."
He pauses to gather strength and continues.
"After she died, I started this thing -- I named stars after people I missed."
The twilight chill starts to sink into them as the sun dips further beneath the horizon, a slight breeze whistling through the trees. Danny's loose coat flaps in the wind as he raises a hand to the night sky, pointing to a series of stars and naming them off.
"That's my mother. That one right there is Erica -- my grandmother. Then there's Andrea, my cousin."
Samantha is silent for a moment before she speaks. "They're all...dead?"
He nods. "But this way, I can look up, and there they are. It's weird, I know --"
"No, no. I think it's sweet. So do I get one?"
He stares off in the distance for a minute before answering, a slight shiver runs up his back.
"I hope not, Sam."
He pulls her close and closes his eyes. "I wish she were here."
Sam looks at the tombstone, then up at the night sky, her eyes lost in quiet contemplation, drifting between the metaphysical and spiritual and all the faith she's picked up along the way.
"She is."
She gathers the strength to kneel down, placing a single rose beside the granite.
"Merry Christmas, Mrs. Taylor."
*
FIN
