Redone! Edited! Altered! And all those cool things! Yeah, this didn't seem to be so popular, so I've revised it, added some stuff, changed a bit more. It's still not my best work ever, but it's certainly not the worst. At least, not to me. You may think differently.
Don't own GW or the song. 3x4. Yeah, I know. It's my favorite kind. Not as fluffy as some of my others. Songfic. Just another take on the 3x4 relationship from Trowa's POV. No real point, no real plot. Most of it is his thoughts while he's playing the flute with Quatre, right after they first meet and are at Quatre's safe house. So... it's all a little confused, since Trowa's confused. Just a drabble I wrote without thinking and have now revised and spent more time on.
And I don't own the song. Info on it's at the bottom.
Trowa's Reflections
You think you know me.
Oh, God. This is so painful. I always thought that falling in love- if I ever actually did it- was supposed to be like flying. Soaring, up-lifting. Beautiful and brilliant. But this is far from it. This tearing in my heart, like it was being ripped in two, never to be whole again without him.
On this day, I see clearly
Everything has come to life
Bitter place and a broken dream
And we leave it all behind
Within the space of the few hours since I'd met him, a bright, blinding light has been shed over my life, illuminating every single flaw, every imperfection. And along with those flaws, I can see every wrong I've done, every dream that's ever been forgotten, broken. I can see what my life was... and I just want to forget it, and move on at last.
On this day, it's so real to me
Everything has come to life
Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel
Chance to feel alive
With him, I feel like the slate can be wiped clean. He sees into my heart, into my soul, and he sees what I have been- and what I could be. I love that feeling, even though it hurts. It hurts because, in these few hours, I've fallen into love. I've fallen into love... but has he? Could he? Will he?
I have been defeated and brought down
Dropped to my knees when hope went out
Ohhhh, the time has come to change my ways
Maybe it's time for a change of tactics. I've failed at so many things... but I don't want to fail at this. I want this pain. I want love. I want to be loved. I've never had that, and I want it. Somewhere to truly belong... someone to belong to.
On this day, I see clearly
Everything has come to life
Bitter place and a broken dream
And we leave it all behind
The music flows through me, into the flute, and the notes blend together perfectly with the sweet sound of his violin. Maybe we can do that. Blend together in perfect harmony. Two souls, one feeling. Two people, one purpose. To love, and to be loved in return.
I'll never long for what might have been
No, regret won't waste my life again, ohhh
I won't look back,
I'll fight to remain
The music speaks to me, like a little voice deep inside my mind. The present is what matters. Not the past- that's yesterday. And not the future... it's not here yet. But today. Now. This night, this instant. No more thinking about what is over and done with, the past I cannot change. Actions now speak louder than words, what happens now is all that really matters. Maybe I should say something, do something. But no. I cannot. Even against this wonderful, painful love... fear still grips me.
On this day, I see clearly
Everything has come to life
A bitter place and a broken dream
And we'll leave it all behind.
His eyes are closed in concentration, and I close my own in return, feeling the music. That is all we are. Music. Two different notes, tangled in a symphony of resonances and dissonances. Two separate notes that compliment each other. Two voices rising high into the night. One beautiful, brilliant, like a star shining, shimmering. One fallen, broken, like a china plate, shattered, alone.
On this day, It's so real to me
Everything has come to life
Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel..
Chance to feel alive...
I know the night cannot last. And I know that tomorrow... I must leave. I must leave this beautiful oasis... I must leave his beautiful face. Another tear, another piece of my shattered heart, falling to the floor. Maybe that is all I'll ever be. Shattered. Irreparable. He deserves much better. Fear speaks to me. And yet, still I hope. Still I dream. And still I love. I will always love him.
Fear will kill me, all I could be
Lift these sorrows,
Let me breathe
Could you set me free?
Could you set me free?
I leave without a word, leaving him there in the music room. Alone, his music forgotten, the violin down at his side. He doesn't see how it affects me... how he affects me. He doesn't know these feelings inside me. He doesn't know that only he can chase away this pain. He will never know, because Fear will never let me tell him. Tomorrow I will leave. Perhaps never to see him again. Fear will forever hold me down, will forever shackle me.
On this day, I see clearly
Everything has come to life,
A bitter place and a broken dream
And we'll leave it all behind
A year later, I plead with him. He doesn't listen, merely struggles to strap himself into Sandrock's cockpit. Against my better judgement, I help. He is in no shape to pilot, but I would do the same in his place. And I find that there is two faces to Fear. There is the one that holds me down, the one afraid to speak my heart. And there is one that is afraid I shall never see his beautiful face again. I whisper his name, inches from his face in the dimness of the cockpit. His teal eyes meet mine, and he smiles sadly. I struggle to find the words that I've buried deep inside. Fear wars with Fear, neither gaining. He leans forward, letting his lips brush against mine gently in a soft kiss. He tells me he knows. He tells me he's known all along, that he feels the same. He tells me he will come back, that he will come back for me. He tells me he loves me.
On this day, it's so real to me
Everything has come to life
Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel,
Chance to feel alive.
~~~~{*}~~~~~
Song was:
Metalingus by Alter Bridge
It's the Theme song for Edge on WWE! I love this song and this band, even if I hate Edge. (Mark Tremontti is like the hottest guitarist ever!) And cookies if you knew that before I said it. Yay to the Wrestling fans! Go Jeff Hardy! Kick Matt's butt! Go Cena! Go Batista! Go HBK! Go HHH! Go 619! Go.... well, you get the point. ^-^ So let me know how you liked my revisions.
REVEIW, REVEIW, REVEIW!!
