A/N: Midnight musing. Please read.

She leaned in closer to the blond beside her with a small smile adorning her petal pink lips. "I've always liked you better you know." She stated in an airy voice that was not quite a whisper. But even as she spun away from the blond, her eyes shifted downward, as did the corners of her lips, for even she knew that, that was a lie or perhaps, only a half truth. She did care about the blond very much, but her slight infatuation was the lie, because it wasn't him she was in love with…no, she hadn't seen the man she loved for over four long years. She plastered a smile onto her face and glanced back over her shoulder at the quiet blond behind her. "I'm going home now." She said nodding her head with a smile before walking off, not giving him a chance to say nah or yay.

Even though she had said it, she had no intentions of returning home, no she needed to go somewhere, where she could think, let her mind wander and feel free. She was headed for her church. While she walked she passed the old rusted and run down playground. A bitter sweet cloud fell upon her, it was so bitter sweet it was almost melancholy. She paused momentarily and gazed at the playground, folding the fingers of her right hand as she lifted it to hover above her collarbone. And as she felt the setting sun warm the back of her neck and shoulders she could almost see him standing there, arms crossed gazing at her with that attempt at serious face stating that he was in SOLDIER. How that had surprised her, how could someone so nice be a SOLDIER? Be one of those unnatural beings? She shook her head and continued on her way.

Upon arrive at her church she quickly trotted up the steps, opened the door and slipped in, closing the large wooden door behind her. She turned her back to the door, clasped her hands behind her back and began walking steadily forward, almost sauntering, down the aisle between the rather broken down church pews. She paused near her flower patch and gazed up towards the ceiling of the church. Two almost identical holes could be seen, shedding more light into the church and upon the flower patch. A bitter sweet smile spread across her petal pink lips. The smaller of the two holes had been created by the blond she had just recently said farewell to. The larger…she could feel the back of her eyes sting just slightly. It had caused her heart such pain when Cloud had fallen through her roof, how it had frightened her and pained her to see his figure lying upon her floor all in a heap, see his spiky hair. She had hoped, at first, beyond hope that it would have been him…but once again her heart was disappointed. 'Helloooo!' She had said when the larger whole had been made, made by a man falling through her roof. She sighed, unclasped her hands and turned her gaze to her flowers. She knelt down and gently began brushing just the tips of her fingers along the steps and the golden petals. '"Hey Aerith, this really isn't a good time, can I call you back?"' She had said he didn't have to. But…. '"No I will, I promise."' He had promised. Promised her that he would call her back. How long had she waited for that call? How long had she sat alone in silence in her church? Watching her flowers? Watching the sun set? Four days she had waited, and then she had decided to write him a letter. She had no way of knowing where he had been shipped off to, and her only hope of ever having her letter delivered had been with her childhood friend, Tseng had been only to glad to assist her. He was always so kind, ignoring his duty and not taking her back to Shinra. She owed him a great deal.

But as the days passed and no news had returned, she continued writing letters. For four years, four long years she wrote to him. And finally, on the eve of the anniversary of his last phone call (four years previous) she sealed up the one hundredth letter, her last letter. Even though her letter seemed, if anything slightly detached, she prayed it would find him in good spirits…she prayed that he would someday return to her, like he had promised. He had promised to fulfill one of her wishes…and her wish had been that they spend more time together. Even now, now that she knew that it was hopeless, knew that he was not coming back she still hoped with her heart of hearts.

Hoped that one day he would walk into her church with that large grin plastered upon his face and with a nervous chuckle, while scratching the back of his neck, he'd say: "Sorry it took me so long."

A pearl tear fell from her eye and landed gently upon the petal of a flower. Her eyes widened and she gasped spinning around slightly to see who had walked up behind her. She blinked. Cloud stood there, scratching the back of his neck as if unsure, slightly worried look upon his usually emotionless face.

"You left so quickly I was worried that something was wrong."

She smiled and shook her head, her braid swaying slightly as she stood up. She clasped her hands behind her back.

"No." she said. "Nothing." The last rays of the setting sun fell upon her crossed fingers.

A/N: I was listening to 'water' and 'flower blooming in the church' around midnight and this thought struck me: 'Did Aerith really love Cloud? Or did she love who Cloud had become?'

I am not a Clerith fan AT ALL. I am 100 percent Cloti fan! But with my midnight musing I'm beginning to wonder if Aerith is even a Clerith fan.