It was Halloween in Gotham

and the ghouls were afoot . . .

And Batman was out,

criminals in hospital he hoped to put

Children were running away from the fear,

Only sounds of screaming and pain they did hear.

But on this night, the Batman would find

something evil and bad,

that would- fuck it, I'm not rhyming anymore.

Why the hell do people like rhyming words and trying to sound smart? It takes too long to tell a story. I can rephrase that story ten times better. Are you ready? Here we go . . .

It was Halloween in Gotham. And Batman was about to fuck shit up. He's gonna fight an evil zombie king and a whole band of zombie warriors.

What's so hard about that? Actually, I don't even need to tell the rest of the story. It's all right there. Good vs. Evil. Right? But if I know people, and I do, they love a story. Made-up crap that we usually have to make up as we go along. Anyway, I'm sure you want to hear it, don't you? Anyhow, let me give you some info about me before we go on. My name is Wade Wilson. Most comic nerds know me as Deadpool. I wear the red and black outfit, look like a meth-addict Spider-Man with guns, and has all those voices in his head. If you don't know who I am, I got four words for you. Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. Here. Don't even count the words. I know it's four.

OK. OK. Just enjoy the story. It's a good one.

SPOILERS BELOW . . . . . . . . . . . . .

SPOILERS DO NOT READ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I'M DEAD SERIOUS. DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER.

FINE.

You asked for it.

Bruce Wayne is Batman.