Titan-sized disclaimer: Attack on Titan (Shingeki no Kyojin in Japanese) and all associated characters, places, and terms are a property of Hajime Isayama-san. I do not own Isayama-san's work of fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended. I'm just a guy who appreciates his work, and has fun writing this. Live long and prosper.
The Titan shifter barely had half a decade left to slay his enemies.
Strangely enough, the very thought of it was more awakening than it was dreadful. True, when a man nears his end, he desires what's left of his brief existence to be charged with purpose more than anything, and Eren was no different in that regard. In the share of combat for the past couple of years, he was propelled by a single thought: the survival of the human race ensured by the extinction of the Titans. A war machine, a force multiplier—that has been my role all this time, and that it shall always be for the remainder of this existence, Eren thought. In a twist of irony, few things such as impending death could spur one's thoughts and even prod one to look deep within, introspecting previously veiled fears, motivations, and unasked questions. One of the latter haunted him now.
What meaning does this brief life carry outside of my goal, my chosen destiny?
"You've been out here a long while," Armin quipped from behind him, "Almost as if you've just seen the ocean for the first time."
Despite being shaken from his moment of solitude, the Titan shifter could not suppress a small smile. Bare feet and rolled up trousers ankle deep in the seawater, he picked up a stone and tossed it a good five meters away, vanishing quickly amongst the gently rolling waves. The ocean reflected the brilliant orange painted by the sun across the sky, creating a scene conducive to existentialist thinking or open conversation with an old friend.
"That wouldn't be entirely true," Eren replied, "You described it so well when we were little, it's almost exactly how I pictured it then. Even a blockhead can imagine, you know."
The blond stood by his side and shrugged, "I didn't say anything. I'm not sure where that came from."
After absentmindedly tossing a stone himself, Armin decided it was time to goad his friend to speaking up. Eren was doing a rather good job at hiding it, but the blond boy could sense something was troubling him.
"Anything else going on inside that 'blockhead?' Lightening the load might help a bit."
The Titan shifter paused for a moment, clasping both hands atop his unkempt hair, "Been thinking about the time I had left, what I could possibly achieve in four years, about our enemies on the other side of this ocean..."
"And?"
"I've been committed to the cause for so long, yet I've never really put some serious thought into the costs behind it. For every Titan I kill, ten soldiers lose their lives covering my back or pulling my ass out of the fire. The thought of losing more people in the next four years because of my mistakes? It scares me. And it doesn't stop there. I dragged you guys into this, you and Mikasa. I never intended this hellish existence—"
"Eren," said his friend, laying a hand on Eren's shoulder before the shifter could finish, "If you want to hear the truth, here it goes. First off, your sacrifice is no lesser than the soldiers' that laid down their lives, and theirs is no lesser than yours. It's all the same to the human race. We're all fighting, and dying, to ensure its survival. It just so happens you can go toe-to-toe with those man-eaters while your brothers-in-arms have to use blades. At the end of the day however, we're all progressing towards the same goal. Commander Erwin told me that by keeping that collective goal alive, no soldier would have died in vain. Win, and it's a victory for the human race as well. We just have to keep pressing forward.
"Second—shh, don't interrupt me—your friends probably knew what they signed up for. From day one, I knew the risks, the consequences, the price. Yeah, for a while there, I was reluctant. But I also wasn't about to let you march into hell itself alone. A coward it might make of me, but that scares me more than getting devoured."
"I'm pretty sure you'll be doing the devouring from now on. The next time we see Reiner, do me a favor and flatten that armored bastard after I punish him."
"Don't get me started on that. I still get nightmares from eating Bertholdt. And I'm still not confident with my abilities as we haven't field tested the Colossal Titan yet."
"A couple of transformations in, and it'll feel natural. Don't worry about it. Just watch where you step," said Eren, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.
"Sure hope so. I'd rather not make a mess of things. Where were we? Right, you interrupted me again. I know you're probably aware of this Eren, but Mikasa made her own decision to fight alongside you, just as I did. Do you think she's here to pay off a debt she incurred years ago?"
"I honestly don't know. I never asked her about it, but it has crossed my mind."
"Bollocks, Eren. Your relationship may have started on the night you saved her life, but it was never just about that. She loves you, and that's what makes the hellish existence you speak of bearable. All I'm saying is don't worry about us. We're here of our own accord, and we're here for you. So stay the course, Eren."
"Thank you. I'll remember that, Armin."
After a while, the pair started walking away from the shoreline and back to their camp, "Eh, don't mention it. In that case, I'll be helping the others prep supper. I hear we're having stew tonight. When was the last time we had meat? Two months ago was it?"
"Mhm. Thanks to Sasha. Again. Damn good archer, and an even better poacher in unsuspecting kitchens and pantries."
"Ah, Sasha. So, should Mikasa be worried now?" said the blond, somehow managing to keep a straight face.
The Titan shifter halted in his tracks, visibly caught off guard, "What? Why should she be worried?"
Armin proceeded to the middle of the camp, and replied without looking back at his friend and hiding a mischievous grin, "Nothing. I'll be joining the others now."
"Not so fast. Join you guys soon as I change," with that, Eren made a beeline for his personal tent, which was only several meters away from the fireplace Jean had going for their evening meal.
