Title: Bacchic Effects.

Author: vardaquareien

Rating: R eventually!

Disclaimer: Smallville and charcters aren't mine. Just borrowing. Will give back. Maybe.

Notes: First of all this is my first fanfic ever so I want complete honesty! Any comments and/or criticisms will only make me stronger! Tell me if you think I suck and why.

This fic is in response to challenge #23 at naughty-seduction (sent in by Brittany). I will post the complete challenge plot & requirements at the end of the fic coz they're fairly detailed and will give everything away if I post them here.

Summary: Chloe and Lana get drunk at the Talon leading to eventual smutty Chlex.

Bacchic Effects.

"Chloe! What do you think you're doing?!" Lana hissed, looking at her friend apprehensively.

Chloe looked up at Lana with an evil grin on her face. "What's it look like. I'm beginning the process of getting good and smashed!" She poured a liberal amount of whiskey into her coffee mug. "The only thing better than coffee is Irish coffee. Top o' the morning to ya!" She raised the mug in Lana's direction before taking a large gulp of the liquid inside.

"It's evening, and you can't drink that here!!!" Lana gestured frantically around the empty Talon. "We're still open!"

"So close! It's not like there's anybody here. And..." Looking at her wristwatch "it's only 40 minutes 'till closing time anyway." Chloe downed the rest of her mug, grinning at Lana once again. "You wanted me here for some girly - type bonding then you'll just have to accept the fact that I don't do girly. At least not without a lot of liquor first!" She grinned to herself, silently adding that she felt the need for a good stiff drink every time she was in Lana's presence for an extended period of time.

She watched as Lana went through some kind of internal debate. "Where'd you get it from anyway?" Lana asked gesturing to the scotch bottle on the counter.

"Oh I just happened to find it lying around" Chloe returned casually. Seeing Lana's raised eyebrow and stern look she continued "It was in the back of the pantry this morning when I was searching for the coffee filters. And before you say it" she anticipated as Lana began to open her mouth again "No. My father will not notice it gone. I happen to know that he can't stand the stuff and it's been sitting there since someone at the plant gave it to him about three years ago for his birthday." She gave Lana a 'so there' look, daring her to hassle the spunky blonde further.

Lana, never too perceptive at the best of times, didn't let it go at that. "But Chloe. You're only 17. You're underage and -"

"You've never had alcohol before have you?" Chloe interrupted her lecture with a smirk. She hopped up from her stool and strode over to the front door of the Talon, kicking it shut and locking it before flipping the sign to Closed. " I get to corrupt my first minor!!!" Chloe clapped her hands together. "This night is going to be more fun than I thought!" Practically dancing in glee, she returned to the counter and added a good portion of scotch to Lana's half depleted coffee mug before refilling her own. "Bottoms up!" She gulped the fiery liquid before watching Lana study the cup in front of her.

"I really don't think-"

"Oh come on Lana. Live a little! It's Friday night and it's not like there's anything better to do in this miserable town." Lana took a deep breath before tentatively taking a sip of her own drink. "There you go! Just a bit more." Chloe coaxed her then chuckled at the face Lana pulled after tasting the concoction. "What?" She asked innocently "it's Scotch. I never said it tasted any good. No one drinks Scotch for the taste and anyone who's told you they like it is a liar. It's disgusting." She stated before taking another gulp from her own mug.

Lana coughed. "H-how on earth can you drink it straight like that?" She asked before bravely taking a gulp of her own 'Irish' coffee.

"It's all in the technique. Start out with 'Irish' coffee until you feel it start to take effect. By then you don't give a fuck what you're drinking" Gesturing rather wildly with the same hand that was holding her drink, it splashed out of the mug and all over Chloe's leg. "Whoops!"

Lana noticed for the first time that the bottle on the counter was about one third empty. " OK. Am I right in guessing that this was full before you started?" To Chloe's amazement Lana grinned "I'd better get busy and catch up then, hadn't I?"

Chloe watched in amusement as Lana guzzled the entire contents of her mug down before setting about making some more coffee. "I'm not brave enough yet to try it straight" she admitted.

Not being used to alcohol of any form Lana was already starting to feel the effects of the whiskey she'd already drunk. Looking at the bottle again she was amazed that Chloe still seemed fairly unaffected by the amount she'd consumed. "She must really be able to hold her alcohol" Lana mused. Then turning to look at the blonde girl across the counter from her she observed Chloe concentrating very hard on pouring some more Scotch into her mug. "Hmm maybe she's not as unaffected as I thought" she decided.

"So Chloe, seeing as you keep assuring me that you're totally over you crush on Clark Kent, tell me who the lucky man is that has succeeded in capturing the affections of our fair maiden."

Chloe snorted. "I should have known. Get a fairy princess drunk and she reverts to thees and thous!!!"

"Hmph!" Lana made a rather insulted sound.

"Ok, ok I'm sorry! I told you I'm not good with the girly bonding thing. Any way who says that any man has captured my affections? I'm a modern woman of the twenty-first century I don't need a man!"

A look that Chloe never imagined she would ever see on the prissy pink princess crossed Lana's face. "Of course you don't. I'm just imagining the sounds I've heard coming from your bedroom in the middle of the night. 'Oh yes don't stop! I need you so much baby-'"

Lana was cut off from her teasing when Chloe jumped out of her chair lunging unsteadily for her, knocking them both to the floor in the process. Both girls looked at each other a moment before bursting out laughing.

"Still doesn't prove nufin!" Chloe slurred. "I jus happen to be a sexual bean. Doesn't mean I'm maginin it's L-" she quickly shut her mouth praying that Lana's usual unperceptiveness had been enhanced by the liquor she had consumed.

Lana furrowed her brow in concentration and Chloe had to bite back a laugh at the amusing sight of Lana Lang so obviously attempting to think. "You were just about to say a name!" Lana looked as though she had found the cure to cancer. "So that means I was right. It must also be someone I know if you don't want to tell me who it is." She wrinkled her brow again. "Hmm someone I know whose name begins with L. Is it that guy Lenny in trig class? You know I've seen him looking at you!"

This time Chloe made no attempt to stifle her laughter. "Yes Lana, I'm desperately in love with Lenny Finch. He makes me so horny. I don't know which turns me on more his unwashed hair or that dirty jacket he never seems to take off."

"Fine, make fun." Lana crossed her arms sulking. "But I don't know anyone else whose name starts with - ahhhhh!!! You don't! You can't possibly!" She shrieked.

Chloe gulped. Great, once Lana knew she'd never hear the end of it!

"I can't believe you've got the hots for Lionel Luthor! He's so hairy and disgusting and-"

"OLD!!! Lana I can't believe you could even consider Lionel Luthor as a possible candidate for my affections. You must really have a low opinion of me!"

"Sorry it's just that-" Lana stopped, looking at Chloe rather nervously. "Chloe, "she began hesitantly. "It's...it's not me is it?"

Chloe looked horrified for a moment before bursting out into uncontrollable gales of laughter. She began rolling around on the floor clutching her stomach.

"Oh good" Lana looked relieved, then suddenly offended. "Hey, what's wrong with me?"

Chloe continued guffawing. "That's what we'd all like to know" she giggled under her breath before being forced to stop laughing due to an attack of hiccups. Raising her voice she attempted to soothe the other girl "So -hic- sorry Lana it's jus -hic- that you're not re-hic-really my type -hic!"

"So who is. Hey! If it's not Lionel Luthor, how about Lex Luthor!" Lana looked like the cat that caught the canary. "Chloe li-ikes Le-ex! Chloe li-ikes Le-ex!" She chanted in an annoying singsong voice.

"I DO NOT!" Chloe yelled, her hiccups disappearing as suddenly as they had begun. Chloe frowned at Lana who was still keeping up her chant before entertaining a deliciously evil thought. " I do not like Lex Luthor. I'm totally in lust with the guy!" Lana's singing suddenly stopped as she stared at Chloe, amazed. "I want to run his smooth, bald head all over my body. I want to rip his designer clothing off him and lick his entire body before slowly bringing the most powerful man in Smallville to his knees. Literally and figuratively!"