Ok so I know I am starting something new and the other is not done but I have to write this. It is plaguing my mind and I have to get it out. This is unlike my other story in every way. This will be a hard story to write and to read I'm sure. This is not puppies and flowers and happiness. This is life at its worst. There will be severe drug use, lot's of sex, language, and basically will tell the tale of two people's life falling apart completely. It's sad and hard but it will be good I promise! I own nothing except this idea so I hope you enjoy. Listen to elegantly wasted by INXS!
BPOV
I pulled the baggie out of my pocket just wanting the numb to come. I grabbed my mirror and spread the heavenly white powder out on it. Forming lines, I rolled the hundred dollar bill up and leaned down. After five lines were coursing thru my system I felt the familiar numb overtake my body. The only time and place that I could truly be relaxed, free of all the dreams, the nightmare that is my life.
"Bella ten minutes till you go on are you ready" Rose asked walking towards me.
"Just gotta get dressed other than that I'm good." I said as I approached my clothing rack.
"Which one are you wearing tonight?" Rose said as she snorted one of the lines off my mirror.
"I don't know I was thinking the navy blue one"
"Hell yes you look fucking hot in that one." she laughed.
"Well navy blue it is then. Could you help me with my make-up real quick?" I asked knowing my hands were still a little to shaky to put eyeliner on.
She nodded her head as I changed my clothes real quick before sitting in front of her. She quickly thru some make-up on my face just as James walked thru the door.
"You ready Bella two minutes." he said.
"On my way" I said as I headed towards the door.
I could hear the chatter of the people outside the curtain and wondered how the crowd would be tonight. I heard the beginning beat of my song as the curtain opened. The cat calls started almost immediately as I hung upside down on the pole all the way at the top. I dropped my body letting myself slide all the way down to the floor stopping right before I hit it. Slowly pulling myself up I twirled around the pole landing in the splits.
I grabbed the hooks of my bra and thru it across the stage. The man were roaring now and whistling. I loved it. On stage I wasn't the old Bella. I was new and adored by men who saw what they liked. Stripping what a career choice. What would daddy think? Charlie would pull out his shot gun and blast every mother fucker in this room away, grab me and tow me in hand all the way back to fucking Forks. Good thing old Charlie didn't know where I was. I couldn't handle being there anymore. To many memories mostly bad. That was why I left in the first place. I needed something different. I moved to Chicago two years ago. I was sitting at a bus stop freezing with only the clothes on my back when I met Rose. She was beautiful and a really nice person. She brought me home that night and we both got coked up out of our minds. I've never left. Rose introduced me to the strip club and I've been working here every since.
Not quite what I had pictured as my career goal but Fuck it was easy and I made lots of money. Which was a necessity because when you trying to support a thousand dollar a week coke habit you better have the funds to fucking back it up. So that's my life now, I'm what most would call a low life junkie. I spend every minute I can being fucked up because it's the only way I can survive and the only thing that brings me happiness.
I crossed the stage suggestively crawling on my hands and knees letting the men put money in my thong. I stopped in front of a table of two guys and a girl that were pretty close to my age. They had some big wads of cash which I desperately needed. I sat up on my knees and let my hand fall to my pussy. I slowly started gyrating against my hand and flicked my head back in pleasure, moaning. The guy grabbed a twenty and stuck it in the front of my thong while wiggling his eye brows at me. I slowly slid a finger inside my panties dipping into my sweetness. I watched his eyes go wide as I pulled my finger back out. I used it to beckon him to me. He leaned into me smiling wide.
"Want a taste" I whispered suggestively.
"Fuck yes" he yelled.
I slowly brought my finger up to his lips and slid my finger into his open waiting mouth. His tongue made several sweeps around my finger sucking every lit drop of juice off of it. Being this close to him I noticed how hot he was. He had green eyes that burned thru me, the most beautiful bronze hair that screamed sex, and a face that belonged to the gods. I pulled my finger out of his mouth slowly before replacing his lips on my finger with my own. He sucked in a breath as he tucked all the bills he had in the front of my panties flicking my clit with his finger as he did so.
The music ended as I stood up. I looked at him once more before heading off stage. He winked at me and I smiled back at him. I quickly thru on a little skirt to grab a drink and make my rounds for private dances.
The baggie in my pocket was calling my name as I made a b-line to the bathroom. I pulled out the baggie and put some coke on the counter. Fucking disgusting right. Not only a bathroom counter that I didn't even wipe off but for fucks sake It's a strip club bathroom. Funny thing about a habit like this though, you really could fucking care less. I grabbed the a bill out of my panties and rolled it up. One line down and I felt it returning. The numb that I needed so much and embraced with arms wide open. If mommy and daddy could see me now. Fuck my mother, stupid bitch first she drags me away from dad saying she isn't happy anymore, I was fucking five years old. I didn't understand shit.
Sure just take me away from my father and the only home I ever knew no big deal. Arizona sucked, the heat was too much for me and I hated it. I hated her even more barely speaking to her unless it was necessary. That was until she met Phil, what a douche he was. A second rate baseball player that sat on the bench every fucking game. He proposed and that was it my mother decided that I needed to go stay with my dad. She threw me out like she did the trash every Tues and Thurs. It was her fucking fault I was where I was now. If she would have just let me stay in Phoenix I would probably be in college now. But no the selfish bitch sent me back home to Forks where my life inevitably changed forever.
"Fuck I'm sorry" I heard a voice say behind me.
I quickly turned still holding the rolled dollar bill. "Fucking lock never works in here." I said seeing that none other than sex hair himself was standing starring at me.
"I'm not a fucking circus freak so either come take a hit with me or get the fuck out" I yelled at him.
He quickly shut the door and walked over to me. He grabbed the bill out of my hand and leaned down to clear the three lines that were left on the counter. He stood back up and grabbed his nose as he sniffed harder and then wiped his nose off. God he was fucking hot and I needed a release so bad. drugs and sex seemed to be the only things that could keep my momentarily happy these days. I licked my thumb and ran my fingers across the little bit of powder that was still on the counter. I drew my hand up to his mouth and slowly stuck my thumb in his mouth as he licked and sucked the coke of my finger.
He grabbed my arms and threw me into the bathroom stall wall.
"I want you so fucking bad" He whispered in my ear.
"Then take me" I whispered back.
He grabbed my ass and drew me up setting me on the counter. Quickly grabbing a condom out of his pocket he unbuttoned his dirty jeans and dropped them to the floor. I unzipped my skirt and ripped it off letting it fall to the floor. He grabbed my panties and with one tug they were laying on the floor with my skirt. It was so fucking erotic and sexy they way he commanded me.
"Fuck me" I growled not wanting to wait another second. I needed him to fuck me. Fuck Jake's memory out of my mind if only for a few minutes. I would be in a place where his name and face didn't haunt me.
He chuckled rolling the condom down his dick. He grabbed my hips and with one fluid motion he filled me up. God I loved that feeling, just to feel full and satisfied. No matter how long it lasted I always longed for that feeling of being satisfied.
He grabbed my ass as he started pounding into me. "Fuck you feel so good" he breathed out.
"Ah God" was all I could get out. He face was beautiful when he was inside me. The way it contorted in pleasure that I was giving him. I felt my stomach muscles tightening and knew what was coming.
"I'm gonna…fuck..I'm gonna cum" I screamed.
"Cum for me beautiful, cum all over my dick while it's inside you" he growled back.
The minute the words left his mouth I lost it falling over the edge. I screamed out grabbing his back and dragging my nails down it hard. My whole body shook and flailed around him as he thrust a couple more times before screaming "fuck."
I leaned against his chest feeling his cock throb inside me. I was in fucking bliss at that moment. Nothing from my past could hurt me. I was worlds away from it all in a man's arms that I didn't know high as a fucking kite. Sounds wrong on so many levels but it was right, so right for me and exactly what I needed. A small lapse in time where I could just be. No past, no future just right now.
He pulled out to quickly throwing the condom in the trash can and pulling his pants back up. I fell back against the mirror totally fucking spent.
He grabbed my face and kissed my forehead before grabbing a napkin out of his jeans pocket. He grabbed a pen off the bathroom floor and wrote down his address.
"No phone, but I got a house I share with my brother, best friend, and his girl. Come by anytime you want baby, okay" he said handing me the napkin.
"K" was all I could get out.
I looked at the napkin and read the address and the name underneath it, Edward. He was opening the door getting ready to walk out.
"Bella" I said softly.
"Bella….beautiful….I like it" he said as he winked and walked out. I laid against the mirror just simmering in my post coital bliss. I felt the darkness coming as my consciousness slipped away.
~~~~~*~~~~~
EPOV
Bella, beautiful, fuck did her name fit her or what. She was fucking gorgeous and I was one lucky bastard to get to hit that. As I walked away I couldn't help but notice the shakes in my hands. It had been fucking to long and I knew I was going to start getting edgy if I didn't find my sunshine soon. I walked back to the table that Jasper and Alice were sitting at.
"Jazz man I gotta go find sunshine I'm needing it" I said as I sat down.
Jazz grabbed his phone and dialed having a whispered conversation before hitting end and grabbing Alice's hand.
"Let's go" he said.
I felt like a five year old on fucking Christmas. Sunshine I'm coming for ya. We jumped in the car and headed out. I was thinking about Bella during the drive. I mean she was beautiful and crazy and fucked up but who am I to judge. I sit right next to her in that light. I gave her my address. It was a split second decision that I acted on. I've never given anybody my address but fuck I wanted to fuck her again that's for sure. No phone so an address was all I had to give her. I wasn't going to pay for a phone because that just takes money away from sunshine and I knew at some point my nest egg I was sitting on would run out. I hope she comes to me, sooner rather than later.
We pulled up the a house and Jasper hopped out disappearing thru the front door. I looked at Alice and could tell by the sweat on her face she was jonesing just as bad as I was. Jasper came out about five minute later and we were headed to the house. Thanks mom and dad for the house was all I could think. Fuck them I didn't want to think about them. We pulled up right as Emmet was pulling up. He jumped out of his jeep and came to the car as we were getting out.
"Did you get any" he asked Jazz.
"Yep" he said popping the p and I swear we all ran into the house like a bunch of fucking crazy people. I grabbed the supplies we need and four fresh needles heading into the living room where they were waiting. I saw the baggie on the table with my beautiful brown sugar sunshine sitting in it. Fuck I wanted it so bad.
I jumped down as Jazz started getting it ready. Heroine it was my sunshine. It made my life good. The only time I wasn't going thru the motions was when I had my sunshine, my love coursing thru my veins. I grabbed my needle and dipped it into the spoon filling it up. I tied off my arm and slapped it a couple times to get a vein. I only had to stab myself five times before I found it. I pulled back the plunger watching the blood flow into it. heaven was on the horizon right now. I pushed the plunger back down and watched as the liquid disappeared into my veins. I slumped back against the couch feeling my sunshine warm my body and take everything away.
Jazz and Alice were already gone to their room as I glanced around the room. Em was leaned back in the chair needle still hanging from his arm. My eyes closed slowly as I let her overtake me.
~~~~~~*~~~~~
The sun was in my eyes waking me from the deep sleep I was experiencing. I looked around and Em was still on the chair needle still hanging from his arm. My stomach started to turn and I knew what was coming. I launched myself off the couch running to the bathroom. As soon I was in front of the toilet the bile was flying from my body. Dammit this is when I hated my life and what it had become. I was a damn junkie and it was disgusting. I always hated my sunshine once I had it at least until the cravings started and then I loved it and couldn't wait for the next hit. As I lay on the floor looking at my bruised arm with track marks up and down it I thought to myself that I am a pitiful excuse for a person. My parents would be so disappointed in Em and I.
I met Jasper a year ago and after a couple months he moved in with us. I walked in on him one night shooting up and I was livid. But when I saw how relaxed and at ease he was I wondered. I wish all the time that I would have kicked him out or got him help instead of sitting down and letting him shoot me up with heroine for the first time. After that not to many days passed when I wasn't using my needle and sunshine. It became an overwhelming need that I had no control over. I hated it and what it had done to me. I hated the power it held over me, but what I hated most was myself and in those moments when the sunshine hit my veins I was numb from all the pain that was on my back constantly.
I rubbed my eyes sitting up realizing I was still on the bathroom floor. I looked out the window seeing it was dark outside.
"Bathroom floor isn't really that comfortable ya know" Jasper snickered.
"Yea kinda figured that out. What time is it man" I questioned
"It's nine o clock and by the way there's a cute little stripper downstairs waiting for you" he said smiling as he walked away.
Bella, Bella was fucking here and I looked like shit. I quickly ran my hands thru my hair, brushed my teeth, and changed my clothes before running down the stairs.
In all of her fucking glory standing in my doorway was Bella. She had a short blue jean skirt on and a small tank top that let me see everything I wanted and needed to see.
"Hey" she said
"Hey what's up?"
"Nothing much just out and about and figured I would stop by."
"Well that's cool were just…yea were just hanging out want to join us?"
"Umm sure yea that sounds great…umm Rose is in the car let me just tell her I'm staying."
"Rose?"
"Oh yea she's my best friend and roommate she brought me by"
"Well hell she can hang too if she wants."
"I'll ask hold on"
I watched her run out to the car and then have a brief conversation. The door opened a tall blonde got out closing the door. They walked up and I knew I needed to get Em's ass down here. He was going to be in love.
"Em get your ass downstairs now we have company" I yelled up the stairs.
"Come on in and have a seat you guys wanna beer?"
The both said yes and I headed to the kitchen to grab a couple beers.
"Holy mother of God your fucking hot" I heard Emmett yell.
I walked into the living room slapping Em on the back "Way to make a first impression" I chuckled.
"Thanks" was all Rose said.
"So what do you guys wanna do?"
"Well we were thinking about going out to the club and I wanted to see if you wanted to go" Bella said sipping her beer.
"Hell yea sounds good let me grab my wallet and keys and we can head out. You coming Em?"
"Well fuck yes Rose needs a dancing partner" Em laughed.
We all piled into the car Bella sitting in the back seat with me. She kept looking over at me and smiling and I just wanted to kiss her. Fuck I never wanted to kiss anyone. To fucking personal, it causes an attachment and I'm just not ready for that. I wanted Bella bad and I knew before the end of the night I would have her. Very unlike me because I usually don't fuck the same girl twice but there was something about Bella. I was drawn to her and I wasn't about to let her go just yet. In my world of darkness and pain she was like a ray of sunlight. Sunlight that I was in desperate fucking need of.
Ok so leave me some reviews people. What do you think? Sad I know but believe me this story will go places and I hope you like it. I have so much planned and I will be working on this one a lot. Drug abuse is a real problem please take none of this lightly. Heroine and coke are very addictive and these characters are at an end of a rope. They could care less if they live or die and it's a very sad thing.
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