Impossible Missions Involving Sirius Black

Written by LoquaciousGirl

I, Elizabeth 'Lizzy' Enid, hereby declare, that I am an amazing, wonderful, matchmaking, genius. So, I still have to work on Lily and James - but that can wait. They're a weird couple. Sirius and Remus are snogging over the eggs right now and that's all that matters. The people giving them disgusted looks can go screw themselves. They're beautiful.

Oh, wow, things are getting rather heated over there. Soon they might start screwing over the table.

And it's all because of me.

You can take that in a bad way or a good way.

I think James Potter might take that in a bad way, judging by the look on his face. Or in a good way, judging by his words to them of 'I'll accept you no matter what, blah, blah, blah...'

So, the things on my list of impossible missions involving Sirius Black were possible after all. I knew I could do it!

Hmmm...Maybe we should start at the beginning...

--

I met Sirius when I was ten, a year before Hogwarts started. We immediately hit it off, and now we've been best friends for six years, for I was on the train to fifth year. He was just as close as to James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew as he was to me, but I wasn't jealous. I had a friend almost as close to me as Sirius - Jenny Carson. Though she was so popular, she scarcely had time for me.

I had been sitting in the compartment alone for two hours when he finally came in. His shoulder length black hair hung into his sparkling gray eyes as he grinned at me. He looked the same as always - incredibly handsome and I could see why other girls fawned over him (emphasis on other). Though he had only had one girlfriend and that was in third year, two years ago.

"Where have you been?" I asked, narrowing my hazel eyes.

"My dear Lizzy, I have been with my dearest buddies Prongs, Moony, and Wormtail," he said, still grinning. The kid is always grinning. I swear, one day I'm going to smack that grin right off his face just 'cos I'm tired of it -"But, I missed my darling Eliz -" there, he goes again with that nickname- it's weird. Eliz- what kind of name is that? - "so much, that I left them for you. Forever." He slapped his hand over his hand over his heart dramtically and plopped into the seat in front of me.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I flipped my wavy dark hair out of my eyes, "I've been riding on this damn train to fifth year all alone for two hours, not one person has come in here and"-

"Shut up, I have something important to ask."

I glared but stopped my rant, and raised an annoyed yet curious eyebrow. Sirius stared for a minute and then opened his mouth cautiously. I could see it was one of his nervous moments. He rarely gets those...

Suddenly the compartment door flew open and Sirius' nervous look was replaced by an annoyed one. I smiled and looked at the girl standing before me. She was a chubby girl, who had bushy, could-be-pretty-if-she-actually-took-care-of-it blonde hair, huge greenish black glasses, and a mouth full of braces. I recognized her as one of my fellow Hufflepuffs and remembered that I talked to her sometimes.

"Hey, Allison," I said kindly, wondering what the hell she wanted.

"Hi Lizzy!" she said excitedly, "Guess what! I made Hufflepuff prefect!"

She shoved a badge in my face so forcefully that I scooted back a little.

"Oh, wow, congratulations!"

"I know! I was sure it would be you!"

...Yeah right.

I heard Sirius snort and I shot him a glare. The truth was, no one would make me a prefect unless they were on crack. I'm an extremely disorganized, messy, nosy, troublemaking, slacker that chews way too much gum. Kind of like Sirius.

I stared at Allison who was still babbling.

"The only bad thing is that I have to work alongside Vincent Walker"-

"Vincent? Don't you like him?"

Vincent Walker was someone who could have been Allison's brother. He had the same blonde hair, except his was greasy and always slick with gel, huge glasses, and braces. Since they were so alike, I thought they had to be friends...

"Oh no," said Allison, wrinkling her nose, "He's really annoying"-this was true. The kid had the stupidest, most immature jokes in the world, and when he was done telling them, he would laugh like a hyena, and everyone would just stare and go 'haha...ha...ha...', -"and he's such a geek."

Sirius snorted again and I tried not to do the same. Allison for some reason seemed oblivious to all Sirius' snorts.

"I have to get to the Prefects carriage now," she said, "I'll talk to you later."

I nodded and watched her go. When the compartment door was closed completely, I snapped my head back to Sirius and shared my new thought with him.

"Don't you think Allison and Vincent would make a cute couple?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow and shrugged. I looked away, thinking...

"Liz..." Sirius said suddenly in a warning voice, "I know that look, I know what you're thinking Eliz..."

"What?" I asked him innocently.

"You're going to try and get them together!" he exclaimed, "Stop it Liz, they don't even get along"-

"But they're so cute!"

"You always try and do this, they're perfectly happy where they are"-

"They could be happier."

"Your damn matchmaking schemes never work, Lizzy"-

"Yes they do!"

"Not once! Not once have they worked! And you are going to leave Allison and Vincent alone and not ruin their lives!"

I glared but did not answer.

"So, what did you want to tell me anyways?"

"Oh..."

The 'oh' was barely audible. Suddenly Sirius was staring at his shoes as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.

"Sirius?"

His head whipped up abruptly and he stared at me fiercely, all traces of nervousness gone. I was starting to get really freaked out.

"Do you think Jake O'Malley is hot?"

My eyebrows rose and my eyes widened. He was still staring at me, his expression unwavering.

"Uhhh...why?"

His face split into a grin.

"'Cos I do."

My brows contracted in confusion.

"Wait...what?"

He sighed. He stared at me for a few moments before speaking.

"Well...the thing is...I'm sort of...gay."

He then squeezed his eyes shut as if afraid I was going to hit him. I stared with my mouth parted in shock for a few moments. And then I started cracking up. It was his turn to stare at me in shock.

"Sirius," I said, trying to gain control of my breathing, "Is that...all?"

"What do you mean, is that all?"

"Sirius you scared the shit out of me! I thought you were dying or something!"

He stared at me for a little more, before breaking out into a tentative smile.

"So you don't care?"

"Of course I don't care, you git!" And I wrapped him in an impulsive hug. I could almost hear him grinning in relief as he hugged me back. When I let go he mumbled a low 'thanks' and I smiled.

"So do James and the others know about this?"

"No. I only told you 'cos you're my best friend and a girl, and girls are supposed to be understanding and stuff."

I snorted then gasped.

"Oh my god! Do you like one of the Marauders?!"

"What! No! I told you, I like Jake O'Malley."

"You said he was hot. Which he is, by the way. Oh my god, now I can talk to you about boys and stuff! What do you think of Chase Garland?"

"He's okay, I guess"-

"Okay? Okay? He's a fucking sex god"-

"Fine! But, what about Joe Ferenson?"

"Oh, he's cute. You know, all the girls of Hogwarts are going to be so disappointed."

"Why?"

"Well, you're gay"-

"Yeah, well, they're not going to find out!"

"But...aren't you coming out?"

"No!"

He looked absolutely scandalized.

"But Sirius you can't keep pretending like this. Maybe you could get O'Malley to go out with you"-

"No. He's straight."

He looked incredibly sad as he said these words. I stared at him in disbelief.

"Sirius, he wears make up."

"So?"

"And have you seen the way he walks and talks?"

"So?"

"Sirius, he's gay. Everyone knows that on some level, but you won't know for sure unless you come out, or ask him out. If you tell people you'll be much happier, you can get a boyfriend or something, and all the people who are disgusted about it weren't real friends in the first place. Pleeease?"

"No."

"Sirius"-

"No."

"But"-

"No."

"Oh come on"-

"No."

"Fine! But I still think you should."

"I don't care what you think."

I sighed.

"I know you don't. So, I guess it's up to me."

He looked up, fearful and apprehensive.

"You're not going to"-

"No, I'm not going to tell. I could help with you and Jake O'Malley however"-

"Lizzy, don't you dare!"

--