Alone
By Tracy
Category: LoVe. Angst.
Summary: After fifteen minutes, he offically declared she was late.
Spoilers: "M.A.D"
Disclaimer: VMars isn't mine, it belongs to Rob Thomas (the one who is not associated with Matchbox Twenty, natch), UPN, etc.
More than anything, he is alone.
To an extent, he's always been alone. Oh, there's always been people around, when your parents are celebrities, that begins to become a given part in life. Smile at the cameras, give them the shot they want, or hide behind Nanny or the nearest bodyguard until they go away.
One day, he gave up hiding behind others and hid behind himself. He created another persona- a braver, sarcastic Logan who didn't care about cameras, who didn't need anyone to protect him, who didn't need anyone, period.
If you live your life superficially, then maybe things will only hurt on the surface.
Then there was Lilly. She was different than anything Logan had known before. And he felt for Lilly, and that scared him. When he was around Lilly, he didn't feel alone. Logan felt like he belonged.
It hurt when Lilly broke up with him; but it was even worse when she died.
It was easy to be mad at Veronica. She was the one who told Lilly about the incident with Yolanda; she was the reason he'd been dumped. If Veronica had left well enough alone, then he would have been with Lily that night.
When he blamed Veronica, Logan didn't have to blame himself.
He could have saved Lilly. He could have protected her. He could have taken her far, far, away from Neptune, and she would still be alive.
It was easier to be mad at Veronica.
And then, like things had so often in the last year and a half, things changed, turning Logan's world upside down, once again.
Brave, sarcastic Logan couldn't hold it together when his mother died. He couldn't stand the cameras, or the media coverage; he couldn't stand the people, his father, Trina, everyone who offered him condolences for his loss.
Then there was Veronica, who could understand his needing to know- was his mother really dead? Was it all a hoax?
And suddenly blaming and being furious at Veronica wasn't easy.
Kissing Veronica, kissing her and loosing himself in her kiss, that was the easiest thing in the world.
He didn't need to be brave, sarcastic, Logan around Veronica. She'd seen him at his worst, sniffling and snotty, and yet…she kissed him back.
No other girl had seen past his other persona, not even Lilly.
Logan sat on his father's yacht, waiting for Veronica's arrival. This was a date, a real date, and it scared him more than it probably should. He paced around the deck nervously, looking for a glimpse of her blond hair on the horizon.
After fifteen minutes, Logan declared Veronica officially late.
After an hour, she was seriously putting a cramp in the plans for their date.
After two hours, he realized Veronica wasn't going to show.
Logan grabbed the wine that he swiped from the liquor cabinet, and guzzled some down. Chugging the liquor caused a burning sensation in his throat.
More than anything, he is alone.
Now Logan is afraid that he always will be.
