So… I did a thing.

Just a short one-shot of Rhys POV during ACOMAF. After the heated evening with Feyre in the Illyrian mountains, she falls asleep, but Rhysand stays awake for a while longer…

Just a lot of rambling on Rhysand's part, I hope you guys enjoy this little piece of writing! :)


He needed to focus.

As Rhys ran his fingers over her stomach, feeling her body slowly coming to rest as she fell asleep, he tried forcing his mind to calm down and focus.

He hadn't planned for any of this to happen. When they'd realized they would have to sleep in the same bed, he'd known it would be a hard night for him, feeling her presence so close, and yet so far away from him, unreachable. But he had become accustomed to the longing that came along with being close to her without being mated, and he'd known he would be fine. But then she had been cold. And then she had begun toying with him, moving against him in a way that had meant only one thing, and he had felt the desire emanating from her and -

He snapped out of his thoughts. He needed to calm down. He hadn't felt the urge of the mating bond this strong since the first day, on the balcony outside the Mountain. She was curled up against him, her body relaxed after her release, sleeping peacefully. And it was killing him, to feel her so at ease with him. The smell of her was so strong in the cocoon of his wing, the taste of her arousal still clinging to his lips, onto his fingers. It had never been so hard to stop himself from waking her and claiming her right here on this tiny bed, no matter the consequences.

And he knew she would let him bed her, too. He knew she'd wanted to, just minutes earlier. And it had taken all his will to stop her. He had seen the look in her eyes, pure lust going through her body as she'd reached for his pants. But he couldn't let it happen here, on this filthy inn, in this tiny bed where he couldn't give her everything he wanted to give her. He hadn't lied to her when he'd said it. He had thought way too much about the moment he might bed her, and he had no intention of it happening when they were surrounded by strangers.

But it was intoxicating, being this close to her. Smelling her hair. Brushing his nose against her neck. Knowing that she wanted him, even if just in her bed. He would take it. If it was all she wanted from him, he would take it, and be grateful. Nothing short of mating would ever truly be enough for him, but sharing a bed, getting to kiss her, and hold her in his arms at night… It might do the trick to softening his longing. Kissing her tonight, feeling her thriving against him as he touched her, hearing her moan under his hands, it had been amazing, and he would give up anything to get to live it again.

A sudden shiver running through her, Feyre moaned slightly in her sleep, and snuggled closer to him. Smiling at the gesture, Rhysand flexed his wings to adjust his position around her, and tightened his embrace. His body was finally starting to cool off, able to think about something other than the way her lips had felt against his. Now that he was able to form coherent thoughts once more, he realized he felt calm, more at peace with himself than he'd had been in a long time. It was all thanks to her, this wonderful person curled up in his arms. And it wasn't the kisses they'd shared, or the release he'd offered her. It was just her. His mate, so close to him, where she was meant to be.

He needed to tell her. It had been easy to make up excuses until now, to avoid telling her what they were to each other. She was about to marry another male; she needed space to recover; she wanted to enjoy other males;... It had been the easy way out, making up reasons not to talk to her about the bond. But now, there were no excuses left. She wanted him, even if just for fun, and she was strong enough to take the news - she'd always been, he'd just refused to see it. Really, there were no good reasons to delay it. He needed to be honest with her about the mating bond, it wasn't fair to keep her in the dark.

Except...

Fun. A distraction. That's what she wanted from him. She had been very clear about that part, she wanted to bed him to have a good time. Not to end up shackled to him for the rest of their immortal life. And he could accept it, being a distraction in her life until she was bored of him and moved on. But what if she learned he was her mate, and was so appalled by the idea that she left him, and didn't want anything to do with him? What about then? He could survive being a distraction to her, he could survive not mating with her, but he wasn't sure he would be able to survive her leaving his life completely. In fact, he knew he wouldn't. He couldn't lose her. Being curled up against her felt so natural, so meant to be, he didn't want to risk it.

But it wasn't fair. Not to her, not to him. Not when she wanted a distraction, and he was in love with her. He needed to tell her the truth if she was to take an informed decision about their relationship, even if it was a decision that ended up breaking his soul entirely. She deserved it, this beautiful, wonderful female asleep against him. She deserved it, and he would give her what she deserved.

Tightening his embrace around her, Rhysand closed his eyes, ready to enjoy every second of that night with her, if it was to be the only night he got to spend that way.