DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Although real places are mentioned, the characters and events you are about to see are fictional, and NO identification with any persons - living or dead - is intended or should be inferred. The author has done his best to replicate the geography of New York City as best as he can, but certain locations have been changed, either to protect the innocent or to have a bit of fun. For example, don't look for Infinity disco anytime soon.


"The wheel in the sky keeps on turning, I don't know where I'll be tomorrow."

To Officer Naruto Uzumaki, Journey had never spoken truer words, especially considering the two major objectives he'd been given today: take down a gang leader and get a Christmas present.

One of them was easy. One of them…not so much.

Naruto couldn't help but think back on how life in Bed-Stuy seemed so much simpler before he pounded the "SNOOZE" button on his radio clock in a vain attempt to get a few more minutes of sleep this morning. The only thing that gave him any consolation was rifling through the pantry to find the best part of waking up…and it wasn't Folgers.

It was Oriental-flavor instant ramen.

Though not as proficient as greats such as Emeril Lagasse or Gordon Ramsay, Naruto's cooking skills were good enough that he could boil a pot of water and not burn his ramen. While not as good as the stuff he got from local eateries, it was good enough for breakfast. Even that wasn't enough, though, and feeling like a real champ, Naruto decided to slug a carton of milk. Unfortunately for him, the milk carton had but a few drops left.

(Ah hell, I'll just get some after today's shift…)

The only other beverage in Naruto's fridge was a few bottles of surplus Martinelli's cider, which he was saving for something more important. Without any other options, he boiled some more water and drank it. Though the pasteurization was a hot idea, drinking hot water…wasn't. After suppressing a neighbor-waking scream, Naruto went to the bathroom and freshened up, which meant brushing, flossing and applying deodorant. Though largely unnecessary in the cold of a New York City winter, Naruto felt that smelling good for the ladies was forever.

Only one thing remained for Naruto to do, and that was to get properly dressed. To him, this meant throwing on an orange sweater with navy blue stripes, blue jeans and blue-and-white sneakers. To protect against the bitter cold, he threw on an M51 parka.

Now ready for the day, Naruto ran outside and boogied on down to his workplace: the 79th Precinct house of the NYPD. One of the more modern houses, its brick-and-glass exterior concealed a decidedly more traditional interior with typewriters, Xerox machines and chalkboards. Inside, Naruto waved at the desk sergeant.

"Hey Bettina, how's tricks?" asked Naruto.

"Oh, same as ever!" replied Sergeant Bettina Cheng.

"That's nice!"

Eventually, Naruto made it to the locker room, where he began changing into his uniform, which included a light blue long-sleeve shirt, dark blue tie, dark blue cap, dark blue pants and black leather shoes.

"Hey Naruto, good to see you!" said Officer Sakura Haruno.

Naruto gave a thumbs up before pulling his pants on. "Good to see ya, too!"

"What's up, Naruto?" asked Detective Sasuke Uchiha, wearing a black suit and leather trench coat.

"Ah, not much! You?"

Sasuke crossed his arms. "Personally, I can't wait to prank this new hump that the white shirts dragged in."

"Huh?" Naruto blinked slowly, wondering what the supervisors had in store.

Without saying a further word, Sasuke pointed his thumb over his shoulder. What Naruto caught sight of was a pale-skinned fellow with spiky, wine-red hair. The M65 jacket, blue jeans and Corcoran tanker boots didn't arouse Naruto's interest. What did arouse his interest, however, were the new guy's black eyeliner and lack of eyebrows. Naruto shot a great big smile.

"Oh boy, a brand new fr…MMPH!"

Sasuke quickly covered Naruto's mouth. It didn't do much good, for the new guy shot a menacing glance in their direction. He didn't make eye contact with Naruto, however.

"Um…hi…N-Naruto!"

Naruto turned around to see who was talking to him. Here was Officer Hinata Hyuga, absolutely red in the face…and not from the cold, either.

"Oh hey, Hinata! Good to see ya!"

"Of c-course!"

Naruto put on his duty belt. "Come on, Hinata! Roll call's about to begin!"


After throwing on his Miklos Sas leather RMP jacket, Naruto eagerly ran to the briefing room, beating out everybody except Sergeant Kakashi Hatake. Once everybody had filed in, Kakashi took roll call and inquired about car assignments.

"Good, now here's the story:" said Kakashi. "You all know about the whole 'Secret Santa' thing we've got going on for tomorrow's Christmas Party. Don't spend more than fifteen bucks. Anybody who wants to participate should have their names in the basket by now…and this means you, Gaara. You all should have met Detective Gaara, but in case you haven't, let me explain: we've reached out to the Chicago Police for help in catching a gang leader known only as 'Tobi'. We don't know much about the perp other than the fact that he's an EDP who's left a trail of crime across the Windy City. Gaara, tell us more."

Detective Gaara – the "hump" that Sasuke had referred to – got up from his seat and picked up a manila folder from Kakashi's podium. "This file should tell you all you need to know about Tobi. It includes the only known photo of him. DO NOT ask how we got it."

Gaara handed it to the nearest officer, which happened to be Naruto. As he looked into Gaara's mint green eyes, Naruto felt a curious sense of dread, which manifested itself in the form of an involuntary gulp, hardly the mark of a true leatherman.

"Just take it." Gaara furrowed his brow.

With a jittery hand, Naruto took the folder and – managing to avoid dropping it – began perusing the contents. The photo in question was a blurry surveillance photo taken from afar. The contents included reports on the medley of crimes that Tobi and his gang – christened the New Dawn – were responsible for, including: murder, rape, and distribution of counterfeit Gummi Bears. Each report was accompanied by graphic 8x10 color glossy photos with circles and arrows and paragraphs on the back of each one explaining what each one was, to be used as evidence in putting the gang away.

"I'm showing you this for one reason:" said Gaara. "For every gang member we've killed or arrested, ten good officers have been retaliated against. Please, don't disappoint my department."

Without any further words, Gaara walked back to his seat. In spite of the general sense of fear that pervaded the hearts of each and every MOS, there was also a drive to succeed, to prove to the Second City that the Big Apple could take down even the slimiest of worms.

"Any questions?" asked Kakashi.

None whatsoever.

"OK, I'm going to pass around the basket of names now."

With that, Kakashi passed around a red wicker basket with strips of paper. Each strip of paper had a name on it. Naruto was giddy with excitement, mainly because he relished the thought of making Hinata so happy for the rest of her life with a small bar of Icelandic chocolate. It didn't matter to him that she loved those weird foreign chocolates to the point of obsession. As long as she was happy, then he would be, too. When the basket came to Naruto, he didn't even bother fiddling around; he impulsively snatched a name out of the basket. It was…

Gaara.

Naruto suppressed a loud gasp as he looked at the name. It was bad enough that he didn't get the name he was hoping for, but to get the name of a cold, calculating detective who appeared to harbor a psychotic streak? He just couldn't take it.

"Everybody got a name?" asked Kakashi.

An affirmative chorus came from all the officers.

"Good. Let's be careful on the streets."


Criticism is gold. Negativity and nitpicking are pyrite.