I'm just not good enough.

Who wants broken when you can have fun and uncomplicated.

For the past fourteen years I have let life pass me by. Struggling under the stronghold that my mother's murder had over me then miraculously 4 years ago you entered my life. Within 60 seconds it was turned on its head and since then I have changed for the better.

But is it enough?

I have never been one to look to the future, I've always lived in the now. Blindly focused on finding justice. But underneath it all when I see you smile, watch you jump from theory to ridiculous theory I see myself standing by your side rolling my eyes. Secretly enjoying every single moment of your presence in my life.

Am I enough?

Countless upon countless afternoons in therapy. Dr Burke. The Great Wall of China. Bullet wounds. Scars. Mommy issues. Jobless. Is it too much for him to handle? Once he see's past the painted exterior will it make him runaway? The man who for years was my rock, the man who brought me coffee every morning. Were those words just used in the heat of the moment or did he really mean them.

I love him.

Underneath it all, behind all of the bullshit that's the honest truth. I love him. My one and done. I hope to God that I haven't left it too long.