Dear Lucy,
I miss you. I miss you so much. I mourn you. I cannot find closure. There is no grave for you in which I can place flowers. There are no remains to be buried. There is no evidence you died. There is no evidence that you lived.
I wait. I wait for some sign that you are here with me. That you are listening to me. You cannot write back to me, yet I send letters, unaddressed. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you. That I don't cry for you. That my heart doesn't break for you. That I don't wonder what you would be like-look like-now.
I wonder if the memories I have of you are real. Of us listening to our favorite program on the wireless, dancing to music in the parlor. Do you remember? We were happy once weren't we? Do you remember our eighteenth birthday party? Our mother stretching our ration coupons so they could bake a cake?
And we blew out the candles together, our hands clasps, wishing for the same thing.
For this moment to last forever.
It didn't last forever, did it Lu? It was shattered, robbed from us. Robbed from you. All this light that surrounded you, surrounded me because of you, faded to black. Our fairytale ended. There was no Happily Ever After.
I lie in bed awake at night, thinking of you. Whispering our secret prayer. Do you remember it, Lulu? I do.
'I see the moon and the moon sees me and the moon sees the one that I want to see. So God bless the moon and God bless me, and God bless the one that I want to see.'
I love you,
Hannah.
