Hi everyone hope you are good! I'm sticking to the script originally saying that Henry Bass was meant to be three years old in the flashforward, even though Alex Bento was about 5! I felt this fic sort of needed to happen as Serena was pretty badly treated towards the end of the show. For me Blair is past that stage of being jealous of Serena, she is very much in 'the spotlight' so that's the angle in writing this from. Apart from that, enjoy!
Serena van der Woodsen sat at the Bass family dining room on an August afternoon observing the perfect scene before her. She watched as the smallest Bass sandwiched between his parents tore at the wrapping paper of his several gifts, squealing with glee at the treasures beneath. She smiled softly when his eyes widened as Dorota carried in an exquisite cake decorated with four candles atop. She sang along as her family and friends wished him a happy birthday. She felt a sting of jealously as her Mother placed a kiss on her nephew's cheek before posing for a picture with the family of three. Her heart sank as her eyes travelled to the swell of her best friend's stomach and the two hands that lovingly rubbed soothing circles against it.
"I cannot believe my grandson is four years old today," Lily gushed, pulling Henry into an embrace, "it seems like only last week you were bringing him home from the hospital. He's growing up too fast."
Blair offered a watery smile (she'd cried a few times this week) as Chuck placed an arm around her, "There's nothing to fear Lily a replacement is on its way." They laughed as Henry asserted his position as his Grandma Lily's only and favourite grandchild.
"Well Serena and Dan have been married for quite some time now," Nate announced, "I'm sure it won't be long now before there's another addition to the family and I'll be the only single bachelor enjoying life in Manhattan."
Serena struggled to muster up a response to the comment thankfully her husband stepped in assuring his friend that the newlyweds had no plans to extend their family any further at this present time. He jokily remarked about the pro's of enjoying his twenties unlike the other young couple in the room who's Saturday nights consisted of bath times and boardroom preparation. His male counterpart reminded him that boardroom preparation was a responsibility that came with having an actual job. He also kindly reminded him that such responsibilities accrued benefits such as the ability to support ones family, the ability to pay for your own wedding and even the ability to pay for other peoples weddings in your own home no less. Sensing the tension the group dispersed around the many rooms of the third floor of the townhouse and Henry's Uncle Nate offered his toy constructing expertise to the youngest Bass. Serena squeezed her husband's hand and whispered a 'thank you' before retiring to the bathroom.
A few minutes later Serena was interrupted by a series of knocks against the bathroom door, two followed by four in rapid succession. She glanced up from the porcelain sink bowl and swiftly wiped her tear stained cheeks with some tissue paper before discarding them in the bin.
"Serena!" Blair whined from behind the door, "You have to let me in, the baby is pushing on my bladder and I don't think I can make it up the stairs to my bathroom!"
"Just a second!" she called out as she wiped her face once more trying to remove all evidence of her sadness. Today was her nephew's day and she didn't want to spoil it. She walked over to the door and turned the lock. As soon as it clicked the door flew open as a flustered Blair barged her way past her sister-in-law.
"Oh thank god," she sighed as she slid down her panties and lowered herself onto the toilet seat without a single thought.
"Eww B you're going to do it whilst I'm in the room," Serena moaned.
"Look when you're in this position you will understand," Blair replied before flushing the toilet and standing to wash her hands. She ran her hands under the stream of water and looked up to the mirror in front. She was about to assure her friend that the disadvantages of pregnancy extend far beyond bladder control and that she should not be so quick to judge because her time will come. But she faltered as she saw a single tear slip down Serena's cheek.
"S what's wrong?" Blair turned around and took her by the hand.
"Nothing," Serena quickly replied as she pulled away from her friend towards the door.
Blair clamped her hand in place, "It's something. Today is your nephew's birthday and you're here crying in the bathroom alone. Is everything okay with Dan? Don't tell me he did something awful to you again."
Serena rolled her eyes at her remark, "No it's not Dan. He's perfect, everything has been perfect. Blair I don't want to ruin today for you."
"No. You're my best friend if you have a problem I want to be there for you. Henry can wait to be honest he's being showered with so much attention that he won't even notice I'm gone."
With that Serena immediately crumbled into Blair's arms sobbing, her breathing harsh against her friends shoulder. It took a few minutes for her to calm down and a lot of whispers of re-assurance that 'everything was going to be okay' and 'they'd work this out together.' The women sat side by side on the heated tiles of the bathroom floor in a scenario reminiscent of one they shared a decade ago the only difference being Blair was now wiping Serena's tears.
"I'm jealous of you," Serena whispered as she stared down at her lap, "And I'm jealous of Chuck. I'm sorry."
"Why?" Blair questioned as she swept a lock of blonde hair behind her friends ear, "If anything I should be jealous of you. Your carefree lifestyle, your body…the fact you can see your toes." She lightly nudged her friend hoping to extract a laugh. Her attempt was unsuccessful.
"Dan and I have been trying for a baby," Serena abruptly said before turning to look her friend in the eye, "and it's not working, at all."
"Firstly, that's amazing S! I'm so happy for you. I can just imagine our two daughters growing up together. Secondly, be patient. It's completely normal for it to take a while to conceive…"
Serena cut her off harshly, "I can't have children." The sentence hung in the air as they both paused in silence.
"Well of course you can," Blair began to speak but was once again stopped in her tracks.
"No I can't. The doctor said I can't, "she affirmed as fresh tears glistened in her eyes, tears that were reciprocated in her best friends.
"Oh my god," Blair said in an almost inaudible whisper. She was truly thrown, "I'm so sorry S."
Serena buried her head back into Blair's embrace as she squeezed her tight. Blair breathed slowly willing herself not to cry, she had to be strong for her friend as her friend had been many times for her.
"They say I have an inhospitable environment which makes it very unlikely I'll ever be able to have a baby something about antibodies or whatever. I look at you and Henry and this one," she gestured down to Blair's bump, "and it physically hurts sometimes. I want a baby so much. I didn't realise how much I wanted it until I realised I couldn't have it."
"I've been so thoughtless," Blair sighed, "I've been flaunting this in front you."
"It's okay B, you didn't know."
"But I should have," she interjected, "Why didn't you feel like you could tell me this?"
Serena admitted that it was a mixture of embarrassment and not being ready to share her news that kept her silent as with most things, saying it made it real. For the first time in what felt like forever Blair finally was able to sit and listen to Serena's grievances. She realised that with the arduous routine that motherhood and running a company had brought she had neglected their friendship. They always had met at least once every week but Blair could not help but feel guilty about how self-absorbed she had been. She'd been so pre-occupied and excited with her role of mother, wife or CEO that she had failed to notice her friend was hurting.
"Have you told Lily about this?" Blair asked hoping that she had been able to seek female comfort from at least someone.
"No," Serena replied her head dropped in what seemed like defeat, "She's never too interested in what's going on in my life. Sure she's interested for a few moments but her attention then diverts elsewhere. She's normally doing something for Chuck at Bass Industries or talking about Henry."
This time Blair felt an enormous surge of guilt. Lily was such a huge part of their lives right from the moment Chuck married her. She'd been a great help in restoring favour at Bass Industries and an adoring Grandmother to their son. Chuck and Lily had a special bond they were extraordinarily close as they had been for many years. Blair had admitted that Lily was the only other woman who Chuck was able to open up to. Serena and Lily's relationship however was historically turbulent, unlike Blair and her Mother; the two never seemed to resolve their issues. Blair recalled the pain of her childhood and adolescence as she too craved attention and care from her Mother, feelings that were eventually granted before it was too late. She hated to think that her husband's involvement in Lily's life had caused so much sadness for Serena.
"I'm jealous of Chuck and my mother. I'm jealous that potentially the only grandchildren she will have won't even be mine. They'll be yours and Chucks," Serena sniffed trying to stop herself from crying again. "Sometimes I think she loves him more than me," Serena acknowledged out loud for the first time.
"That's not true," Blair asserted, "You are her daughter, her only daughter, no one is more important than you."
"She has a funny way of showing it," Serena mumbled before pulling herself to her feet and making a swift exit. Blair cursed her immobility that hindered her from running after Serena.
Moments later Blair re-entered the party, eyes scanning for her best friend. Henry leapt up from his position on the floor (next to his Uncle Nate where both had been lying on their stomachs fiddling with a miniature to scale model of the Bass jet) into his Mother's arms.
"Mommy you're back! Where did you go? Uncle Nate build me my plane and Daddy gave me more cake. Uh-oh he told me not to tell you. I'm sorry Mommy," Henry babbled before prizing the toy out of his Uncle Nates hands to show his Mother.
"Wow it looks amazing just like the one we took to Paris to visit Grandmere Eleanor. Do you remember?" Blair cooed in that voice she only used for her son. It also dawned on her that Eleanor wished to speak with Henry to wish him a happy birthday, "Come on we need to make a phone call to Grandmere Eleanor and Grandpere Cyrus," she held out her hand which Henry gratefully accepted. He loved talking to his maternal Grandparents especially Cyrus because he was so fun.
Later that evening Chuck and Blair were lying in bed after finishing a rather steamy session.
"That was demanding," Chuck turned on his side to face his wife, "Or rather you were demanding. You know it's only birthday sex if it's actually your birthday."
Blair smirked before nuzzling her head into the crook of his neck, Chuck rolled over so she could lie on his chest, "I think I deserve some sort of special treatment. Four years ago today I pushed your son out of my delicate parts."
"Point taken," he chuckled and placed a soft kiss on top of her head. The couple then continued to talk about the day taking great enjoyment in their sons happiness. It wasn't until Chuck questioned where Serena went that Blair revealed what they had discussed earlier that morning.
"I'm shocked," Chuck said when she had finished explaining, "And here we've been this whole time flaunting it in front of her."
"I know I feel awful," Blair sighed, "To think I've been inviting her to shop for baby clothes and I even invited her to an ultrasound last month!"
"The whole Lily situation isn't ideal," he admitted, "Lily does spend a lot of time with me and I love her like a mother but I don't want Serena to feel that way."
After a lengthy discussion they decided it would be best if they spoke with Lily. As much as they appreciated everything Lily did for them, birthdays, brunches, business and everything Bass, they could not allow it to be to the detriment of her relationship with her other children.
It was Thursday afternoon when Lily re-entered the townhouse hand in hand with a skipping Henry swinging his satchel by his side. Lily had volunteered to pick up Henry from pre-school as a one off when his parents were particularly busy with work but the pair had so much fun it became a weekly occurrence.
"Mommy you're home!" Henry cried before dropping his satchel and hurtling towards the couch to sit next to his mother. "Hello baby," he whispered placing a kiss against Blair's bump. Blair's heart swelled at her perfect son.
After sending Henry join Dorota in the kitchen for a healthy snack Blair was finally able to talk to Lily. She had hoped to do it with Chuck but given his busy schedule and the urgency of the matter they both felt it couldn't wait.
"How much do you know about what's going on in Serena's life Lily?" Blair asked placing her teacup back on its saucer.
"Is there something I should know?" Lily responded sensing things weren't as they seemed.
"Yes!" Blair blurted in frustration before pausing and calming down, "Yes. When was the last time you even spoke to her? Called her? Asked her how she was doing?"
Blair explained that whilst she appreciated everything Lily did it was wrong that Lily had been so absent from her daughter's life. Lily accepted the criticism and lamented the fractures in her relationship with her daughter they fought so much that there were times neither of them felt pursuing a close bond was a worthy cause. The hardest information for Lily to digest were Serena's fertility problems, her heart ached to know her child was hurting so badly and by the end of the conversation Lily was freely crying.
"I should have been there for her," she sighed, "I'm a terrible mother."
"You're not terrible Lily," Blair squeezed her hand, "But you could do a lot better. Starting from today you need to meet with your daughter at least once a week. No excuses. And when you do ask her what's happening in her life. Shower her with attention. She deserves it."
Lily nodded as Blair pulled her into an embrace, "We both owe it to her."
Later that evening Blair received a photo of a pyjama clad Lily and Serena snuggling in bed along with the caption 'Thank you B.' 'Always' Blair replied.
Almost a year later Blair and Serena sat on bar stools at the Rose Bar flicking through the cocktail menu. They frequently held girls nights together which were appreciated nowadays even more especially Blair who saw them as a welcome break from two young children.
"Why are we even bothering to look? It's always martini o'clock with us," Blair giggled tossing the menu on the bar.
Serena smiled before pausing; she bit her lip before taking her best friend's hand in hers, "I'm afraid it's virgin cocktails only tonight. For the next five months or so actually."
Tears formed in both of their eyes as Serena nodded silently affirming what Blair had realised. Blair squealed causing the rest of the customers to momentarily turn towards them and she pulled Serena into a tight hug.
"I'm so happy for you!" Blair cried, "I'm going to be here for you every step of the way." This was a promise Blair kept and most importantly as did Lily.
Indeed five or so months later Blair and Lily had still maintained their pact.
Serena's pro-longed wail cut through the sound of 'whale song' playing softly through speakers and the 'warm-ambience' of what felt like one hundred candles and incense sticks that burned in the room. Her husband's attempts to soothe her were met with a violent almighty splash from the temporary birthing pool that sat in the middle of their apartment.
"This is why I had my children in a hospital," Blair muttered, "I was almost pain free at this point."
"My thoughts exactly," Lily whispered back whilst gently stroking her daughters hair.
"Alright Serena on your next contraction push for ten seconds," the doula ('there to assist you with your spiritual and non-spiritual pregnancy needs') announced, "I'll count with you."
"I want the fucking juice. Get me to a hospital now!" Serena cried, "This is all your fault Dan!" She bore down with all her strength whilst pressing her hand against Dan's face. After they counted she tried to regain her breath.
"I can't do this Blair," she wailed, "How did you do this?"
"In a hospital, numb from the waist down, with a doctor present not some random woman in birkenstocks and a bandana," she gestured to the flustered doula who recoiled at the statement.
"I give up!" Serena exclaimed.
"Serena," Blair took her hand, "You listen to me. You are Serena van der Wooden. There is nothing you cannot do. You defied the impossible by being in this very situation in the first place."
"You're amazingly talented, the strongest woman I know," Lily began, "You can do this my baby girl."
"We all believe in you Serena," Dan placed a kiss on her temple, "It's time you did too."
As her contraction began again Serena found the strength to push with all her might. She screamed as her baby made its entrance into the world and sobbed uncontrollably when it was placed onto her chest. She and Dan shared a brief kiss before gazing back down at the screeching sticky mess they had created.
"It's a girl," Serena cried in disbelief as she kissed the top of her daughters head.
Lily placed three kisses down her daughters cheek before whispering how proud she was in her daughters ear. Both Blair and Lily were sobbing now too. Serena glanced up from the baby in her arms to her mother and best friend. The three most important women in her life were in this room.
Everything felt complete and most of all, she felt loved.
