Disclaimer: I don't own the Back to the Future franchise. If I did, I'd not bother trying to hide the fact 2015!George wasn't portrayed by Crispin Glover since the character could be portrayed by somebody else and fans would probably dismiss the difference as aging. 2015!Biff doesn't look like any of his past selves.
Author's Note: As I'm writing this fic, it's February, 5th, 2015 and I don't know what'll happen between now and October, 22nd, 2015.
Author's Note 2: Any technology from BTTF 2 that appears in this fic but not in real life is to be credited to Doc Brown.
Back to 2015
Biff Tannen will never allow anyone to claim it's not tiring to go back 60 years in time and then return to present. Not after he did so to give his past self from 1955 an Almanac with game results so he'd become wealthy from gambling. He was chuckling as he saw the 1985 selves of Martin McFly Senior and Doctor Brown take their time machine back to their own time. Now that he thought about that, he could have given his past self instructions on when they'd ask him about the Almanac. Nah, he was sure he wasn't idiot enough to miss the chance to kill them. Old Biff then painfully fell asleep on the street. Having overheard the DeLorean time machine depart from 2015, a Hilldale resident looked through the window and noticed Biff lying down. He then called for the police and it didn't take long until two female police officers arrived.
"Too old for any sort of drug user." One of them said.
"I'll check his identity." The other added and then pressed Biff's thumbprint into a scanner. "Biff Howard Tannen Senior, age 78, born in March, 26th, 1937."
"Hey!" The first cop exclaimed. "Isn't he that crooked auto detailer that kept trying to worm his way out of giving his customers the second wax coatings he's required to?"
"He's probably grandfather to the leader of that gang that was arrested for damaging Courthouse Mall." The second one added and tried to wake him up. "Mr. Tannen?" They heard him moan in pain. "We gotta call an ambulance!" After doing so, one of them remembered. "We must call his next of kin as well! It's the standard procedure!"
Meanwhile, Biff was having a marvelous dream: he had Lorraine by his side and was ordering George McFly and Griff Tannen to give two wax coatings to each car of his fabulous collection. "We already did it, Gramps." Griff moaned.
"DO IT AGAIN!" Biff shouted. "Hahahahahahahahahahaha…" His laughter was interrupted by someone waking him up. "Mr. Tannen?" He woke up and realized he was at a room he never saw before. At first, he thought it was a mansion bought by his past self but then he noticed it was a hospital room. "Where am I?" He asked in confusion.
"You're at Hill Valley Hospital, Mr. Tannen." A doctor explained. "I'm Doctor Franny Philips and these two police officers found you unconscious at Hilldale and called an ambulance for you."
"Thank you." He told them with fake politeness.
"I'm glad you're well, Mr. Tannen." One of them said. "I'll tell your son you woke up."
Biff then mentally prepared himself for the shock of how different his son from his rich reality is from the son he left behind and was surprised and worried when he saw that Biff Junior was practically the same person from before. "Dad, what were you doing at Hilldale?" Junior asked. "That place is for losers."
"What day is today, son?" He asked in hopes that everyone will think it was just because of how he was found instead of suspecting of a time machine.
"October, 22nd, Dad." Junior answered.
"Good." Biff commented. "Has Queen Diana already arrived at Washington?"
"Who?" Junior asked in confusion that was shared with everybody else.
"Hello! Anybody home?" Biff Senior arrogantly asked. "I'm talking about Queen Diana, wife of King George VII of England. Who else could I be talking about?"
Everyone was now worried that Biff Senior became senile. "Dad, the last Diana to ever be part of the British Royal Family is Prince Charles' deceased ex-wife and, even without her death and her divorce, she still wouldn't be Queen because Queen Elizabeth II is still alive."
"What?" Biff Senior was shocked again. Could his time travel have affected the British Royal Family to that point? No, it had to be some trick. They must be trying to have him declared insane so Junior will get his money. Clever plan but not clever enough.
"Dad, I'm sorry for having to leave but I must go to the courtroom to see Junior making his plea." Junior apologized.
"Wasn't he already tried in data-court?" Biff asked while still trying to understand this new reality. Even if Brown and McFly had somehow managed to ruin his plan, it wouldn't explain all those differences.
"What's data-court?" Junior asked.
"Those instant trials that have been taking place ever since lawyers have been abolished." Biff Senior answered.
"Dad, lawyers haven't been abolished." Junior explained. "I wish they had. Having to pay for the damages to Courthouse Mall will already be bad enough to make me no longer able to afford a vacation trip to Vietnam."
"Didn't I become rich by betting on sports?" Biff asked upon finally getting confirmation that his plan failed.
"No, Dad." Junior grunted. He was becoming tired. "Doctor Philips, I think my Dad will feel better watching the news." As Junior left, Franny turned the TV on. "…given how much our landmark is loved by the citizens of Hill Valley, it's believed that Griff Tannen and his cohorts will not be let on bail. On a happier tone, our local rock idol Marty McFly is coming home after a tour through Europe. As his most devoted fans must know, the tour marked the debut of a new song written for another adaptation of 'A Match Made in Space', best-seller novel written by McFly's very own father George McFly years before Marty's big break."
"Marty McFly? A rock star?" Biff was outraged. "Did he use Brown's time machine to prevent himself from crushing his hand during a truck race against Douglas Needles?"
The next day, Marty McFly took his family to Café 80's. "Welcome to Café 80's, Mr. McFly." Biff Junior cordially said. "May I help you?"
"You could release the Pac-Man game and solve some inaccuracies, Tannen." Marty replied.
"Who cares about games where people need to use their hands, Dad?" Marty Junior asked.
"The target audience for places like this, Junior." Marty said and then talked to Biff Junior. "Tannen, I got word on what happened to Griff. Tough luck, man."
"This isn't the worst, Mr. McFly." Biff Junior explained. "My Dad has been sent to Hill Valley Hospital's mental ward. He thinks Doctor Emmett Brown invented a time machine and claims to have stolen it to make himself wealthy by betting on game results. He says that Prince Charles is already King and still married to Lady Di, who'd be visiting Washington yesterday."
"Did he say anything about me?" Marty asked out of secret worry that Biff would try to mess things up again.
"He said your musical career wouldn't have even started because you crushed his hand during a truck race against paparazzi Douglas Needles." Biff Junior commented.
Marty then decided to make an offhand remark. "Yeah, Needles did challenge me to one of those back in the Eighties when we were teenagers but I refused. Your Dad is being quite optimistic if he thinks that's the worst that could have happened."
THE END
Author's Note 3: Because of some unexpected interruptions, everything after Biff Senior being told that Queen Elizabeth II is still alive was written in February, 6th, 2015.
Author's Note 4: In case some of you readers are wondering who's this King George VII that Biff believes Diana to be married to, he's Prince Charles. While I saw nothing anywhere to indicate which regnal name he'll use in a timeline where Diana is still alive and married to him by the time he becomes the King, I'm going for the theory he'll opt to become King George VII instead of King Charles III.
Author's Note 5: In case some of you are wondering where I got the idea of writing 'paparazzi' as Needles' job in this timeline, it's because I blame them for Lady Diana's death.
