Disclaimer/Notes: I do not own Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, or any of the characters here, unless otherwise mentioned. They belong to Capcom, and no money is being made off of this piece of fiction. This story was written solely for entertainment purposes, and no copyright infringement was intended. Please, do not sue. All original ideas are original (duh) and belong to me, unless otherwise mentioned. This drabble is unbeta'd, but otherwise has no warnings. Enjoy.

Not Gay

"For the last time, Larry, not wanting to watch the Victoria's Secret modeling show doesn't make me gay," Phoenix sighed, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling of the Wright Anything Agency. There was something stuck up there, orange specks and long thin noodles jammed deep into the plaster. He frowned. He'd have to remember to tell Trucy to stop playing with real spaghetti for her magic tricks. Shaking his head in an effort to stay on topic, he continued. "It just makes me busier than you."

"Dude, Nick. Seriously, come on!" Larry opened his second beer and kicked his feet up onto the crowded coffee table. "You couldn't possibly be busier than me. You're single, old, and your job is imaginary."

"I have a daughter, Larry, and I'll have you know that I'm trying to study for the Bar."

"Yeah? You takin' that here?" Larry took a long drink, glancing over to his long-time friend and raising a brow curiously. Phoenix shook his head again, pulling up a seat next to the other and taking his beanie off. He set it on his knee with the smiley face up.

"Yeah, you have to take the bar in the same state that you want to practice in. Besides, California's pass rate isn't too bad."

"Cool," Larry didn't even sound like he was listening. "Now can we watch hot chicks in sexy underwear?"

"You're a dirty old man."

"You're a big gay lawyer, Nick."

Phoenix pointed at the screen with a dark scowl, at a young girl in a lacy black set of matching bra and panties. She was wearing stockings and a garter belt and sky-high stiletto heels. She had short brown hair and big beautiful eyes. Larry whistled.

"Do you have any idea how much this bothers me?"

". . .What, because you're gay?"

"No. Because I'm a father, and my sweet, innocent little girl is gonna grow up and look like that."

"Sweet. Can I date your daughter?"

"You're a dead man, Larry."