Author's Note: I know, don't hate me! I just have to, okay? I'm sorry! XD Enjoy! Let me know what you think! Goodnight!

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Warnings: Language, OOCness, un-beta'd.

Word Count: 4,216

They had been through so much together. No matter what she thought, what she feared, what her rational senses told her, she knew that she couldn't leave him alone. She was allowed to pick. She chose who she wanted and she wasn't going to let... whatever She was take him away from her. She wasn't sure what to say or think. She didn't want anyone to be afraid of her, and she certainly didn't want anyone to hate her, but in a way, she could understand if they did. They didn't understand the difference like she did. To them, she and Her were one and the same.

All that matters was what he thought.

But she was scared to face him. She was scared that he would reject her. She was scared that he would see Her instead of her and would be too angry, or betrayed, to accept her. That he wouldn't be able to forgive Her and so she had to suffer because of it. It was unfair and cruel and while she would never blame him for making such a choice, she's not sure she would be able to live with it. It seems like her only real purpose in life now was to be by his side. Helping him, guiding him, being his driving force and sole confidant. Without any of that, it's like she might as well not exist at all. There is a shocking number of people who she knew would agree with that notion.

But the only thing she feared more than that was if he knew they were different and only wanted Her. If he could see, if he could understand how and why they were different and still chose Her, she's not sure what she would do. She knows that her options are quite limited and that the universe was a very unsafe place, especially for the likes of her, she was still left with this feeling of displacement. He was all that mattered to both of them, if he chose Her, she wasn't sure what other option there was for her.

She had no disillusions though. Even if he chose her, she was never going to be by his side anymore. Not with Halsey by his side, cooing and fluttering about like she was some kind of proud mother hen to the ace chick. The best of the best. Not with the rest of his comrades to whisper in his ear. Not that she blamed them, any of them really. They, like he, had all the right in the world to hate her, it just... didn't make her feel any better about it. Being able to rationalize it, and being able to accept it without thought are two entirely different things.

She goes back to those times, in the not so distant past, to where things just made sense somehow. It was a crazy series of situations that they fell into, yet they rolled with the punches effortlessly. Seamlessly, even. That's one of the things she loved most about him: his ability to adapt.

Well, it was an admirable trait. Not love. Love wasn't something that she could express. Logically, she knew it was an admirable trait and one she could easily see in the faces of all those he surrounded himself with. He was easy to admire. He was easy to love. He was easy to fear. And he was easy to follow. He was everything that she wanted, and knew that she logically needed. No matter how much like all the others he was, she knew the moment she realized that he was luckier than any other before him or that came afterword, she knew he had won her over.

She knew for his quiet nature and looming presence that he was so much more than what she would come to expect. And she was right. He was this perfect mixture of lucky and unlucky that both forged his personality and let it shine through all at once. It was that neat mixture of the two that allowed him to be entirely himself, the person that she has come to admire more than anyone else in the entire universe. Even when the situation seemed, and probably was, impossible, he never once flinched or backed down.

He was built to be a hero, and war was his forge. That, and pain. A life of pain and war made him the perfect person for the job. The job being save everyone, from everything, it feels like.

No matter what that woman did to him, he was still this pure soul. No matter the hellish torment and brutal conditioning he went through as a child, and even as an adult, he still held this beautifully pure nature about him that completely enticed her. She knew that others like him exhibited similar qualities and maybe she was a bit biased, but he was special.

She had little experience with the beauties of man. How people view other people as beautiful. She could look it up online and knew the perfect facial equation for optimal perceptive beauty, but nothing that she ever outright thought of herself. She was created to see codes. Numbers and letters. Not critique the beauty of others or form opinions on the matter. While she could, she was programmed to ignore such things.

But to her, he was beautiful. She never saw his face. She knew from his profile what his hair color was and his eye color but that meant nothing to her. She thought that he was beautiful as a person. There was no physical features that could somehow obscure her perceptions. She wasn't built to care about such things but she was smart enough, and advanced enough to be able to think such things, to notice such things. She's not sure if she is appreciative of such a thing or not. She thinks that it's this ability that She is so obsessed with him.

She's not sure if that's a good thing or not.

On one hand, if she didn't feel this obligation, devotion, to him, would she even 'feel' anything if something was to happen to him? She certainly wouldn't be happy about it, but would she 'feel' the way she does now if she was able to? Is it because of her ability to 'feel' that dedication to him that She is able to mimic - or maybe she is the original? - and that is why he is placed in this position? She just didn't know.

But regardless of all of these thoughts and worries, she couldn't leave him alone. No matter the unknowns, she still wants to be at his side. She wants to watch him be the man she has known him to be these last few years. She knew, in the face of yet another adversity, that he would be the one to pull through all of this and somehow bring this horrible situation to a close. Maybe it's unfair to put so much pressure on him, to believe he's going to be the sole one to stop all of this, she honestly believes that he will do it.

Will he be alone? No, she didn't think so. She knew his team wouldn't voluntarily leave him, so he's most likely not going to be completely alone, but She wants him so bad that she's sure that he is going to have to be there. His luck wouldn't have it any other way. He will be there, and he will stop Her, she just knows it. She has complete and utter faith in him.

Honestly, though, she never thought that she would see him again. Admire him, as she did and yearn to see him without fault, she thought that the run-in with the Didact on his ship was going to be the last time that she saw him. She thought that if it wasn't the rampancy that 'killed' her, it would be floating endlessly in space, burning up by a sun or slipping into a black hole. She never imagined that she would find a planet - Genesis - where she would gain access to The Domain. It's there that her memory banks are skewed.

When she found The Domain, she... changed. It's like her vision was split, but only for a moment. She was in two entirely different places at once and she knew that something was happening and she had to act quickly or she would be destroyed. The next thing she knows, she can hear him - John. She could hear him talking, beseeching someone about returning to UNSC, and then she heard her own voice, basically telling him no.

But it's like she was sick again. Not with rampancy, but the fact that she felt weighed down, like she wasn't able to process what was going on clearly. She could hear people talking, hear fighting, understand it, but she couldn't do anything. She couldn't move. She yearned to try and help him, but she couldn't move, couldn't bring herself enough into awareness to be able to do anything other than listen to bits and pieces that pierced the darkness whenever they happened to. It's one of the most infuriating things that has ever happened to her.

And then, she felt him. Not like back on the Didact's ship were for a single moment, the only thing she wanted - other than for him to survive - was to be able to touch him. Just once was enough. Something to take with her before she died. But she felt him in a way that she felt him whenever she was in his helmet. He surrounded her. She could hear his breathing and his heartbeat. It was like he was right there.

When her full awareness returned to her, she was in his helmet as he exited the Cryptum. She's not sure how she got there, only that once more she could see through his helmet camera. At that moment it took all of her will-power not to call out to him, not to let him know that she was there. That whomever he was speaking to - another version of her or some kind of trick - she was there. She was still on his side. She was going to still be able to help him.

But she couldn't. She was... she was scared. The images of what happened after she gained access to The Domain is hazy but she came to learn, as the rest of them did, what this other AI, also going around as Cortana, was doing. She was trying to cow the galaxy. She was using the Guardians to emit powerful EMP blasts to try and disrupt, well, everything.

Once she learned that, and to the extent of what the other Cortana had done leading up to that, she knew that she couldn't say anything. She couldn't let him know that she was there, now. She is too scared.

She didn't know how else to describe it. She's not sure if she can feel. She doesn't know if she should be saying 'feel' simply because she isn't sure it's possible for her to be. Every moment of every day she has wanted to call out to him, say something to let him know that she's there, but she just... couldn't. Once they reached Sanghelios and met up with Halsey and the Arbiter, it felt like all of her chances were gone. She's not too sure the Arbiter would care one way or the other, but she knew that Halsey would insist that she be killed.

Er, decommissioned. Yes, that's the right word for it. Dying would insinuate that she was living.

So she just sits and watches everything through John's eyes, constantly going from one thought to another, trying to muster the courage to say something. Perhaps it is because his team knew him so well, knew that Her betrayal hurt him, that they offer him almost no time alone, which is a good thing for her because she's not sure she would be able to keep her trap shut if he was alone all the time.

The hardest to not say anything has to be when he sleeps, and sometimes she breaks her silence, but as he sleeps, he dreams of her. She's not sure what he dreams about specifically, but sometimes he will whisper her name, or sigh it softly as if a huge burden has been placed on his shoulders and those tiny sighs and hushed voices were the only outlet he could get. No one had really anything good to say in regards to her - not that she expected such - and she could see it wearing her friend down. He believed in her. He had faith in her, and wanted to believe that she could still be saved. The fact that everyone else had given up hope - some louder than others - has hurt him. He doesn't say, and his defense for her is straight-forward and blunt, his posture says it all and the others read into that.

The moments she breaks her silence is only while he sleeps, and that's while watching his vitals and breathing patterns closely. She wasn't going to run the risk of ruining her chance to observe and just be there to help him in the most minutest moments possible just because she wanted so badly to break her silence, even for a moment.

She doesn't say anything other than that she is sorry. She would whisper it softly, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, John. I'm sorry" because she doesn't dare be any louder, or say anything more, than that. She would continue to say it until what appears to be nightmares pass and a peaceful dream takes it's place. She doesn't do it every night, she doesn't want him to catch on, but sometimes she just can't help herself. She's causing him so much pain. She just wanted to make him feel better. She knows that it's empty coming from her, especially with the looming threat of the other Cortana over the horizon, she still wanted to do something because no matter what, to that very moment, he was still on her side.

She will never be able to thank him enough for believing in her like he did. Never.

"John?" Cortana and John both perk up at the sound of Halsey's voice. He was sitting at the edge of their camp, legs dangling off the side of the cliff, staring at the scenery. This is one of the very brief times when Blue Team has left him alone to think but the peace didn't last long, it seems.

Master Chief looks over at Halsey, seeing her standing a few feet away, her single arm dangling limply at her side as her eyes stare down at him. There is a brief moment of pause where he waits for her to say something more, but she doesn't, only stares back, so he says, curtly, "Halsey."

She looks around for a moment, as if to see if anyone was watching them, before returning her blue eyes landing on him once more. "John, I want to talk to you about Cortana. Everyone has been walking on eggshells around you since you returned so I think it's about time that you get a bit more of a firmer hand on this situation."

She knew all about firmer hands, Cortana thought bitterly, John didn't need anything she had to offer. That much Cortana knew.

John doesn't sigh, doesn't complain, he just pushes himself up to his feet and steps away from the ledge to stare down at her, not loomingly, for there is a respectful distance, but still hovering over top of her easily.

"What did you want to speak to me about, Doctor Halsey?" Master Chief asks after yet another baited silence of them just staring at one another.

"Cortana," Halsey says. "She's not coming back, John. You must understand that."

"She just-" Master Chief starts before he's cut off.

"She needs to be decommissioned, John. She needs to be put down. She is a grave danger to everything in the galaxy. Especially you," Halsey says, voice flat. "You saw how she was. She was going to put you and the rest of Blue Team into a slumber that you would only awaken from in ten thousand years. This isn't the last we've seen of her, and that wasn't her last attempt at you, John, that much I know."

"Let her come," Master Chief says, his own voice flat. This wasn't the first time someone has pointed this out to him. He knew already, before anyone said anything. Everyone repeating it was just a constant reminder that he had failed the first time trying to get her to return home. He didn't fail often and didn't take it well when he did.

Cortana isn't sure what to make of his words. Was he ready for her to show up so that he could try again? Do something different this time that will magically change her mind? Or, has he finally given in? Does he believe that she is now beyond saving? Will he wait for her to come and then... decommission her? Or would he just allow Halsey to do it? Cortana's not sure which is worse. Him finally deciding that she is beyond saving and ending her himself, or being unable to face her so that she dies by the hands of another. Both are terrifying.

Halsey shakes her head. "No. You are not ready to face her. Not yet. You aren't emotionally prepared to face her for what she is. You weren't before and you aren't now." Master Chief's heart rate spikes for a split second before calming down again. "It is because of your time together with her that it impaired your judgment. You should have destroyed her at all costs, John, and you know it." His heart rate jumps again, but like before, it calms again.

Cortana, though, is livid. It wasn't her fault that that she turned out the way she did! Sure, there are other choices that could have been made, but she can't claim to know why the other Cortana is doing what she's doing. She just couldn't believe that Halsey was giving the impression that she was a bad seed to begin with. She would never have been part of this world had it not been for Halsey. The woman scorning her now, was the one to originally create her. They didn't always see eye to eye - which is odd considering that Cortana was built matching her brain patterns - but there was never this deep rooted animosity between them. Not like the type she feels circulating through her.

And it scares her too. She doesn't want to be like that other Cortana. She wants the help the Master Chief not hurt him. Not force him into something he doesn't want to do.

And what was all of this about being emotionally ready? John, and all of the other Spartans, are all emotionally handicapped because someone thought it would be a good idea to take children young and beat the ever loving hell out of them until they couldn't feel any emotions not beaten back into them. It's disgusting and the fact that she has the nerve to talk about it as if she was closed off from the problem, or the act itself, was completely appalling to Cortana. She simply couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I do not believe my judgment is impaired, Doctor Halsey," Master Chief says, voice even, not even the slightest shift in his posture as the air pushes Halsey's short graying hair around her face a bit.

"That is because you cannot see," Halsey says simply. "John, I understand that you are comrades - were, I mean - but this is real life now. Peoples lives are in danger and you need to start seeing the bigger picture."

"You're wrong," John says immediately after the last words filtered out of her mouth.

Halsey blinks in surprise. In the corner of John's helmet camera, Cortana can vaguely see Locke, Tanaka and Buck and Vale standing off to the side, trying to look like they aren't ease dropping. Something tells Cortana - and maybe it's the evil little voice in the back of her head - that they are there to make sure John doesn't just go crazy and attack Halsey for her words. As if he didn't have any self control. That makes Cortana even more mad.

"Oh?" Halsey says, surprise flittering across her face. She must not be used to him being so assertive with her. "And how am I wrong?"

"Cortana is not a comrade," he says, voice rough. Cortana's anger depletes and this horrible tug on her shoulders settles in it's place. "She's my friend." She perks up at his words.

Halsey sighs, reaching up with her only hand to rub her forehead, looking tired. It's like this short conversation with John has aged her another ten years.

"John, she couldn't have been your friend she was-" she stops, catching John shift away from her, as if about to walk away. Her jaw snaps shut for a moment, debating on how to go about this. "Whether she was your friend or not before this is irrelevant," she says carefully, the Master Chief pauses. "What matters is that she isn't any longer. I won't claim to know what she has in store for you, but I do know that she has something. You can't continue to view her as a friend because she is not anymore. If she gets her hands on you, I bet anything she will try and do the same thing she did on Genesis. Or worse. For now she wants you alive, but what happens when she doesn't? What then?"

"I will stop her," Master Chief says. "I just need some time to speak with her again. She thinks she's right. She thinks that she's saving everyone. I just need to get her to see what she's really doing."

"And if that doesn't work?" Halsey asks, blinking slowly. She looks up at him as if she was the seven foot tall man in MJOLNIR armor and not him.

"I will do what I must," he says flatly, closing the discussion with the finite of his voice. "If you will excuse me, Doctor Halsey." He doesn't wait for her reply, he just walks off, not even pausing to look at the four members of Osiris that watch him walk by. They watch him go in silence, no one wanting to be the one to stop him, especially with both of his hands curled up into tight fists. Once he's gone down the nearest hill and keeps going, Locke turns toward Halsey and walks over to her slowly.

"Doctor?"

"I'm fine," Halsey says, shaking her head. "He just doesn't understand."

"I think I do," Buck says, shrugging his shoulders. "He sees her as a friend and just doesn't want to believe that she is beyond saving. Who wouldn't be able to understand that loyalty to a friend?"

"The Spartan IIs," Halsey says. "Bonds are fine, but it's all about the orders," her voice is flat. "But that is not the topic of discussion. What is the topic, is Cortana."

"What are we going to do, Doc?" Vale asks, stepping up next to Buck, who was frowning a bit at Halsey for her words.

"No matter the cost," Halsey says, looking after the green suited Spartan with an almost forlorn, motherly gaze, "she must be stopped. Should the opportunity arise and Sierra one-one-seven not appear to be able to complete his mission, you are to kill Cortana, am I understood?" Her eyes turn to Locke, who looked like he was going to say something before he stops himself.

"Yes, Doc," he finally says.

"To what?" She asks, frowning up at him.

"When the time comes and the Master Chief cannot complete the mission, I will kill Cortana," Locke vows, ignoring the gaze of his three teammates on the side of his face.

The graying woman stares up at Locke for a long moment, blue eyes locked with brown, trying to decide whether he was telling the truth or not. Finally deciding on that he was, she nods her head once, curtly, before heading back toward the rest of camp with a short, "Good," to leave them with.