Hello, how are you all doing? This is my first piece of fanfiction ever and in my heart I kinda know that although it sounds alright it's probably just... Shite...
This is based off of the movie 'cause I haven't read the book in a while now and I quite recently saw the movie so... Yeah... Let me know if you like it, or if you don't, that's quite alright too.
Aston E. Cameron
"What are you doing here?"
Elise turned around from where she has sitting on the top steps that led to the front porch of the Callaghan's home.
"Uh? Oh, hi... I uhm... I just came back from the village with Christie... She is still quite new to the place so she asked me if I could show her around a bit, you know?"
"Oh, ok..." Liam said, leaning against the frame of the front door.
He slowly started to approach her and soon he found himself sitting next to her, hands deep in the pockets of his jacket, watching as she took a drag out of her fag.
"So..." he began "What are you still doing here?"
She smirked, looked up and just as if stating the obvious she turned to him and said "It's raining". He stared blankly at her, waiting for a better explanation other than the current weather and reading his thoughts Elise turned her head straight ahead, took another drag and began to elaborate.
"It's raining and as my Aunt's State is just a short walk from here I asked Christie if I could stay here and wait for it to clear up a bit..."
"And why isn't she with you?" he enquired. As much as he disliked Elise he knew it was rude to leave a guest waiting outside alone.
"Well, she said that she was sorry but she had to get ready for Oliver's Graduation Concert at Rossins this evening, you know?... Dress to Impress and all that bollocks..." she paused and smiled "I don't mind it really. If it weren't for the possibility that my Aunt could have a heart attack if I showed up at her door step drenched from the rain I would have walked there a long time ago... I love rain"
Liam stared at her in wonder. Did she just chuckled? And- Oh my god, is that a smile!? This was probably the first time he had seen her truly smile. And even though it was small, he saw that it was actually sincere, and it held the power to warm his heart. He thought it was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. It had such a contrast from the general scowl he had seen her sport almost every day.
Without even thinking, Liam allowed a small smile spread across his own face.
Just as he realized what he was doing, he shook himself out of this train of thought. He could not be thinking of her in this way. She's the reason behind Jamie's misery!
If it weren't for her and that scoundrel of Calum Bentley, his sister would still be the happy young women she once was and not the broken soul that disguised herself in fake smiles and constant repetitions of "I'm fine" that she appeared to be now after the imminent departure of Charles.
Not to mention Walker.
To kick out her father's godson from the Conservatoire just because he was poor! And even go as far as to deny him the scholarship her father had left for him! So very, very cruel.
She was just that. Cruel, cold, calculative and thought herself all high and mighty. She held no compassion for the feelings of others.
If she thought you beneath herself, she would crush you and never look back. She didn't care for anyone, not even her "friends" if she could do what she did to Charlie.
He continued to ponder over Elise's disagreeable being, his lips pursed and his eyebrows creased.
Meanwhile the silence started to grow just as Elise's anxiety did. She didn't know what to say. Should I talk about the weather? -No, stupid- Should I enquire after his family? -No, thanks. Rather not have that conversation at all. Just the thought of Mrs. Downey gives me a migraine- Oh! Oh! I know!
"Want a smoke?"
Great, the idea of talking about the weather doesn't seem so bad now, does it?
Liam snapped out of his somber thoughts, "I'm sorry?" was all he could say.
Elise offered the cigarette that she currently held in her hand and hesitantly repeated herself.
"I asked if you would care for a smoke..."
He stared at her and decided that even if he hated her, for the time being he would do everything within his reach to try and stop this annoying habit of hers. He had seen her smoking so many times and it disturbed him even more with the knowledge that her own father had died from lung cancer.
He also had seen the consequences from heavy smoking with his own eyes. Uncle Pierce was a lucky chap indeed. He was saved when the cancer was just a beginning stage II. But even then, with the operations and all the chemotherapy that followed, after the cancer had been successfully removed, his uncle went from the "happy go lucky scamp"-as he described himself- to a dead man walking. His eyes once so full of happiness and regard for the world that surrounded him were now so distant and... defeated. He tried to cover it up, that everything was fine. But one could tell. "I guess that's what happens to people when mortality steps at their door, isn't it?" he thought.
A few seconds passed when he spoke again, "Sure" Liam answered, but as soon as the cigarette landed in his hand it was put out on one of the steps in front of him, crushed by his shoe.
"Why did you do that for?!"
"That can kill you, you know?"
Elise reached the inside pocket of her jacket and produced a packet of Benson & Hedges, she pulled out another cigarette and put it between her lips, she was about to lit it when she muttered lightly "What do you know? Maybe that's what I'm aiming for..."
There it is again! That fucking scowl of hers! So fucking annoying!
"You mean to tell me you want to die?" he asked a beginning to feel irritated at her lack of care for the matter. When she didn't answered he lost it.
"Well, do you? Do you fucking want to die Benson!?" Liam said in a raised voice.
"I... Just-I..." Elise grunted, closed her eyes for a moment and spoke again "You know what? Forget it..." she said as she rubbed her eye with the heel of her hand.
"Right..."
They both stared away from each other.
After a while the only sound that could be heard was the heavy pounding of rain against the ceiling and the splatters that came from the grass of the front garden.
Finally, Elise gathered up the courage to speak, breaking the silence with a heavy sigh she said
"Surely you must know by now, Downey, where my sentiments towards you lie..."
Of course I know, Benson. How could I not? Liam mused in his own head. When they were in each other's company she barely spoke to him at all. She always wore an expression of displeasure whenever he was in view. She looked down at him and his family. It was very easy to pinpoint where her feelings stood when it came to him. She hated him, for sure; not that the feeling wasn't reciprocated, of course.
She didn't respected him as a musician either. She had practically said so herself the first time they had met.
When he first saw her arrive that day at Meryton Concert Hall he just thought she was tired. She had the right to be. It was a very long journey from Derby to Hertford by car and he knew that some people didn't take traveling so well. He had seen as much from Lorie and Kylie's moodiness whenever they came back from a tour with the LYC so he didn't blame her.
It was partly because he had heard so many good things about her and partly because despite the frown that she wore ever since she set foot to the stage next to conductor Charles Bentley waiting to be introduced to the orchestra she was by far the prettiest girl he had ever seen.
When the introductions were finally made by Mr. Landon-the Main Conductor of the Hertfordshire's Youth Orchestra- Elise got off of the stage and Guest Conductor Charles took his place at the podium. He said a few words and began the rehearsal.
They were playing Tchaikovsky's 4th Symphony and aside from the fact that some youngsters still found it a bit hard to adapt themselves to a new conductor, the reading went pretty well. They went through bits of each movements and Charles was so pleased with the level of quality and efficiency that the Orchestra displayed that he called for a 30 minute recess before moving on to the next pieces.
That's how he found himself sitting in the audience-just a few sits behind Elise and Charles- cleaning his trumpet accidentally eavesdropping at the conversation the two friends were having.
"This kids are really good, eh Ellie? Tchaikovsky is not easy technically or emotionally yet they have captured it so well!" Charles said with a broad grin on his face. Liam immediately felt a tug of pride for his fellow musicians. They had worked hard to get this Symphony right and in the end it had paid off.
"I suppose, but there are still lots of details to be fixed Charlie, and you know it" Elise replied nonchalantly. Well, that's not very nice Liam thought to himself. After all, it's still the first rehearsal and they had two weeks before the concert.
However Charles was so excited that he quickly dismissed his friend.
"Yeah, I know. But they're really great. I mean, I did the last movement faster than I should have at the end and they all catched up nice. Let me tell you, there are really talented musicians here... And the piccolo solo in the 3rd movement? Man, I don't think I have ever heard that solo played so well! I understood every note that she played! And-and the brass section? Very powerful indeed! The french horns were absolutely brilliant and the trumpets as well" Charles finished, not because he didn't had anything more to say but because he was so completely intoxicated with glee that he managed to run himself out of air while he spoke.
Liam was listening still and was happy to hear that his sister Jamie had impressed the young conductor. Jamie had been noticed in advanced that she would be playing the piccolo in the Symphony and had worried herself sick because of that particular solo. He had endured days and nights with a metronome and high pitched sounds for an entire month, but it was worth it apparently.
Elise was very amused by her friend's obvious frenzy and before he could start again she cutted him off.
"I'll give you the piccolo solo and the french horns but I didn't like the trumpets very much honestly"
What? What about the trumpets? Liam thought.
"What? What about the trumpets" Charles asked out loud.
"Well, they just seemed a little insecure. I think it's probably the first chair though. I mean, how did he even got there? He doesn't even hold the instrument properly. He's pointing at the floor most of the times." Elise argued "if that's the example the rest are following no wonder the section is so unstable. They are tolerable enough I suppose for a Youth Orchestra but they need to practice a lot before the can play really well"
What? Unstable? They were nervous! They were all very grown up but apart from himself the one who had been playing the longest had probably two years in the orchestra and three years with the instrument. The only Conductor they had known was Mr. Landon, and this been their first experience with a foreign Conductor and Soloist it was perfectly rational for them to be nervous. Tomorrow they would be just fine.
"Look, I have to go warm up for rehearsal and piccolo girl is making cow eyes at you, go to her and I'll see you later, ok?" Elise stood up from her sit, grabbed her backpack, her Bam violin case and began walking up the stairs to find the exit. She saw Liam and nodded politely at him saying "Good day" before continuing on walking. Liam just stared ahead standing up and said "Perfectly tolerable day, I suppose"
She froze and turned around with a slightly agape mouth staring wide eyed at his retreating form making its way down to the stage again.
"Fuck me"
Back to the present Liam decided this was the sort of amusement he needed. He hadn't brought his trumpet with him and the only distraction he had for whenever he was bored was an old football that Oliver had borrowed him; but it was raining, hence with Oliver and Christie getting ready for the Concert he was bored senseless and couldn't do much more than sit around and mope. Just for the heck of it he turned his head toward Elise and asked
"I'm afraid I am lost at your meaning here, Benson"
In one quick movement Elise was on her feet, she faced his direction and leaned her back against the railing for support. He glanced at her and waited if she was going to say more. Elise looked at the sky and took a deep breath. It was going to rain for a while; no chance at a quick escape. Might as well finish what you started, she thought.
"I tried Liam, I really did... But I can't do this anymore..."
Liam frowned. This was the first time she had called him by his first name. It was always "Downey" with her. He became a little worried. What the hell is going on!?
"What do you mean?" he asked
"I mean, Liam, that these past months have been torture. I usually avoid these kind of events like the plague but once I found out Callaghan was in it, I couldn't help myself. I thought that even if there was the smallest chance that I could ever see you again I would gladly endure whatever busyness came with my appearance here..."
Elise paused searching for some sign of recognition. When he said nothing she continued.
"But I have had enough. It was a mistake to think that I could see you again and everything would remain all dandy and shit. I have fought against these feelings for too long... I have given it a lot of thought, believe me, and despite the fact that not only our social ranks but our professional careers are at different levels, and the fact that the media will bury me to the ground for this, I still can bring myself out of it..."
She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and in the smallest voice she added "Against my better judgment I have come to do what I have sworn myself I would never do."
"I don't understand"
"I love you..."
And that was all it took to send his mind in a turmoil. Elise Benson!? In love with him!?
"Bollocks"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Bollocks! I thought we were on the same page here, Benson" Liam said in glowering at her. At first he was confused but now, now he was as angry as he could ever be. How dare she say she loved him? After insulting him and his family. After screwing his sister over for God's sake!
He stood up and walked to the corner of the porch that was furthest away from Elise. The rain was pouring even worse now.
Elise herself was trying hard to cope with her own emotions. She had just spilled her guts out to the guy she loved, and it seems he's not taking it well. Ever since that moment she had first caught his eyes, she knew she was lost.
He wasn't a bad sight to look at. He was very tall, not overly muscular but not quite the "just skin and bones" type either. But it was his eyes that had taken her notice in the first place. He had the most stunning eyes she had ever seen in her life. Big green eyes with the smallest glint of brown that made them even more appealing.
She was mortified when she heard him utter those words that resembled so very close to what she had said to Charlie just a few seconds before. Had he overheard the conversation? It was quite possible, given the little distance that was between them.
She reminded herself that she had to warm up before rehearsals and decided to let the matter drop.
It was not meant to harm, anyways; the comment, that is. It was just constructive criticism. She saw that those kids had real potential but to be the best that they could be they would have to work their arses off and be under the assistance of a firm hand. If someone just came through and began to sing them praises without pointing their week spots and correcting them they would never grow from what they were now. And it had been always like this whenever Charles invited her with him as Guest "something"; whether it be as the string preparator, or to teach individual lessons to the less fortunate Music Schools around (or even outside) the country. Or be it as a guest musician inside the orchestra or a Soloist as was currently the case, they held this kind of dynamic.
Charles would put them into spirits to try harder and always made sure to tell them they were doing fantastic, while Elise would openly display the details that needed to me corrected and would make individual observations if she saw that someone was slacking off. They kind of had this "Good cop-Bad cop" routine going on.
Everyone would hate her at the end to be sure, but when Charlie and herself went back again after a year or so she would be received with smiles and gratification because they now understood what her behavior was aiming for. And they appreciated it. Despite the unpleasant process, the end result was always of the best quality.
Surely, he must realize that. That's how she had worked all her life. That was what she had learned from her father's teaching method as well as many other great musicians, teachers and conductors around the world. Undoubtedly, it was not the most enjoyable way of work: it sure came with lots of frustration but one could not deny that it was the most effective method too.
Elise shook herself out of the memories of that day and decided to focus on the matter at hand. She just told him she loved him and he seemed angry at her. What the actual fuck?
Liam turned to her and with a deadpan expression on his face said "Look, I'm... Flattered that you would feel this way about me and I'm very sorry if I have caused you pain... But I don't know what else to say..."
"Is this your reply? Are you- are you mocking me!?"
"What do you want me to say, eh Benson? Did you actually expected that I would just succumb to you? Did you thought you were doing me a big favor by "degrading" yourself for me!?" he seem to have blown a fuse by now.
And she was beginning to get pissed off too.
"So that's it, right? I just-I just put my heart at your mercy and you crush it like a bug on the sidewalk... Great"
Elise pulled out another cigarette and lit it with the butt of the one she had finished. She gave a mirthless laugh and said "See? This is why I smoke..."
Liam glared at her
"Oh, don't you get all dramatic on me now. I'm sure that all the objections you have laid against my person will help you overcome my hatred"
And just for a second, Elise froze, her face blank. He hated her? Why?
She blinked.
"Could you at least enlighten me in your... reasons for this hatred?"
"You just professed your "love" and insulted me all at the same time! You said you liked me against your better judgement, for Pete's sake!"
"No, believe me I-" she began to defend herself but he quickly shot her off.
"But that's not it, I have other reasons and you know it..."
"What reasons?"
Oh, now it was on! He approached her with a scowl on his face leaving a small gap between them. He just stared at her at first but then he said gravelly
"Did you really thought that I could ever accept the love of the girl who ruined my dear sister's chance at happiness? Or are you going to deny it? You separated them even though they loved each other! They were doing great and you just had to come in and meddle about! And worst of all, you actually congratulate yourself for your actions? That's jus sic, Benson... My sister is miserable now because of your interference and I'm sure Charlie is too, wherever he is right now... How could you do it?"
"I did it because I believed your sister indifferent" Elise said defensively.
"Indifferent?"
"I watched them closely and it was clear that her heart was not moved" she explained herself.
"That's because she's shy, you muppet! Jesus!" Liam said roughly.
"Well, Charlie too is modest and he felt the same way!"
"Because you suggested it"
"I did it for his own good!"
"I've been my sister's closest confident ever since I could remember and she hardly opens up to me!"
Fuck.
Had she been wrong? If Jamie did truly care for Charles that would mean... Oh, no... Charlie...
Liam studied her for a bit and was quick to find the motives for such interference. He took a deep breath to calm himself before he began
"I suppose that his fortune had some bearing"
"No! I wouldn't even think that about Jamie, although it was suggested-"
"What was?" he said questionably.
Silence
"Well?" Liam asked again beginning to grow impatient.
She looked at him and with much discomfort finally said "It was made perfectly clear that the match would be advantageous for-"
And again, he interrupted her "Did my sister gave that impression!?"
"No! No. There was however I have to admit the matter of your family"
"What about my family!?"
"Well, I don't know if you've noticed, Downey that your mother and your three younger sisters show no signs of propriety or decorum whatsoever. Even your father occasionally joins them too!"
Elise paused for a moment to sallow the lump that was building in her throat and added softly
"Forgive me... You and Jamie are the only ones I can spare from this..."
Liam could do nothing but stare at her. How dared she? This was his family; she had no right to insult them like that. It took him a couple of seconds to regain some self-control and when he did, he remembered another matter that had formed his bad opinion of her.
"And what about Tobey?"
Elise paled, her face that just moments ago showed confusion and discomfort was now contorted into a grave expression, in her eyes she seemed genuinely pained.
"You mean Tobias Walker? Please tell me you're not talking about Tobias Walker..."
"Well, of course I'm talking about Walker. Please, do tell Miss Benson, since you seem to have an explanation for everything, what excuse can you give for your behavior towards him?"
"You seem very concerned about Mr. Walker's issues" she hissed
"Yes, he shared his story..." he fought back
"Oh, of course!" she gave a bitter laugh "Poor baby has had a tough one, right?
"You're the cause of that and yet you treat it like it's nothing"
Elise glared at him. That was enough. Let him be mad at her for the "Charlie-Jamie" thing, but this was Walker. This was the reason for her own sister's misery. She wouldn't have it.
"It's good to know your true opinion of me but just to, you know, clear things up a bit, if it weren't for your wounded fucking pride you might had been more open to the truth that was standing before your eyes"
"Ha! My pride!? Let me tell you right now, Elise Benson, all things aside, from the first moment I met you it was clear to me that you were the very last person that I could ever love. Ok?"
And suddenly she felt like the world had split open at her feet. And she was falling deeper and deeper into a complete abyss.
There was no stopping it.
"I'm very sorry to have disturbed you with me presence... I... Excuse me..."
And before she could shed a single tear in front of him she was out in the pouring rain walking towards her Aunt's State.
Well... She was in the rain after all...
"Fuck it" she said as she led the tears fall freely from her eyes.
Liam saw her that evening at the Concert.
He hated to admit it but she looked really beautiful in that light blue dress that brought out her blue eyes, with those white lace fingerless gloves and her... Keds... So like Elise.
The only thing that disturbed him at the moment was the only thing that he actually always liked about her.
Her eyes.
They were rimed red and it made him feel like shit. It made him feel like the scum of the fucking earth because he knew he was probably the cause of it.
She talked even less than usual that evening.
She clinged to Richard's arm like she was holding for dear life. And Rick was there for her... Like he always was.
Richard looked like he wanted to kill him. He couldn't blame him. I would probably want to kill me too if I was in Rick's position, he thought.
The Concert went fantastic. Oliver was perfect as always. Well, that was what Christie had told him anyways, he wasn't really paying that much attention.
And before he knew it, the evening had reached its end. He was back at the Callaghan's home, lying in bed 'cause he couldn't sleep. A pair of icy blue eyes haunted all his dreams.
So! Liked it? Hated it? Want me to write some more? Want me to never write again? (Sorry, not gonna happen)
If you have any tips, critics or suggestions let me know! All comments will be well appreciated, even if its a suggestion to never write again. Bye c:
Aston E. Cameron
