What is there to say other than this is a new story? And that I own nothing other than my OC that will be mentioned in a couple chapters? Other than that, enjoy this chapter. Mikayla is OOC.


DAY 1: Misery
Dear Diary,

I can't believe I'm doing this. First of all, I don't really like diaries; it's such a girly thing in my opinion. And secondly, I'm using this to record how many days I go without….wellBrady.

Let me begin by explaining why I even started talking about him. Well, everyone on Kinkow knew about Brady's 'little' crush on me. Everyone including the creatures that roamed the Dark Side knew about that! Yeah, that's how bad his crush on me was. And, I must admit, I might have had some feelings for him.

Just don't tell anyone! Oh, who am I kidding? You're a journal. It's not like you're going to pick yourself up and tell the closest person, right? That was why I'm glad you're nothing but a book that will contain my secrets…I should probably re-write that sentence, shouldn't I? Forget it. I already wrote in ink, there's no way I could ever go back and re-write that.

Back to Brady, I didn't know what to do. He just left one night because of one girl.

A girl who couldn't make up her mind.

And couldn't keep her secret hidden well.

She seemed so naïve, so unprepared.

Unprepared to love. And to allow people to love her back.

She had my looks; from my brown locks to my brown eyes. That girl had my attitude. And that girl lived in the skin of someone who usually didn't crack under pressure. Instead of saying something intelligent, she decided to stay quiet. She allowed Brady to be the one who got away; to slip out of her fingers ever so easily. I hated that girl.

That girl was me.

When I heard the news about Brady's sudden disappearance, I knew it had been my fault. That was too much for me to handle so I ran up to my room as fast as I could and closed the door. I walked from the door to my bed, where I then cried myself to sleep.

An hour later, I woke up, terrified. Sweat ran down the back of my neck. It didn't take me forever to realize that I was having a nightmare. I just didn't know what it was about. Brady, I thought but shook my head. When I laid back down, sleeping didn't seem like an option at all. So, I walked over to my desk and wrote this diary.

What the heck was wrong with me? I felt as if everything should be blamed on me and then I have a nightmare about the boy who left to become 'mature'. Could things get any worse, I had thought to myself. Because, by the looks of it, without Brady, my life was beginning to change.

These were all the thoughts that ran through my head. It continued to haunt me like a ghost—following me everywhere I went until I was scared out of my skin.

And the weather didn't help me the least bit.

Dark clouds filled the sky—a perfect way to describe how I was feeling that day. A storm was coming, I knew it. But I didn't dare move. I allowed a strong wind to knock me off my feet and to the floor. I might sound mad, but I was enjoying it. I was enjoying every single moment.

A cold breeze ran down my back and I didn't shiver. My dad ran up to me with a blanket in his hands. He tried to wrap it around me—tried to keep me warm. Instead of letting him do so, I jerked away. The wind had grew stronger and for the second time, I was knocked off my feet. It was amazing how I didn't lose consciousness when I bumped my head.

After collapsing to the floor I got up and walked. By that point, I knew that my feet were moving separately from my brain. Because, before I knew it, I was heading towards the ocean. My feet were taking led, not even allowing my brain to question what I was doing. Did I hate myself so much that I wanted to drown? I suppose so. Maybe I wanted to go swim towards Brady. To find him. And to bring him back.

As mad as I sounded, I still couldn't stop myself. I heard the voices of my father and Boomer. Even their voices couldn't stop me from whatever trance I was in. I couldn't even tell what trance I was in. My brown hair fell in front of my face as I stared down at my feet. It was in charge of me so what was I supposed to do? My body wanted me to jump in. My brain turned off. I was prepared for the cold water that I was about to enter-I was prepared to die.

The storm was still going on, growing bigger and more destructive by the second. I risked a glance at them, my hair blowing in front of my face. They were the family I had left and I, for some reason, didn't want to see them ever again. They stood silent, finally realizing that they had to let me go. And I had to do the same. I stared at them for a long time, remembering their appearance and what joy they had given me. I remembered every little detail about them so I can memorize them. In Heaven.

A sad smile crossed my lips as I gave them a two finger wave.

And turned back to the ocean.

And jumped.