Max Point Of View

9/3/08

Dear Diary,

Boy does this get annoying. I have once again, moved. Well it shouldn't be all that new now because I have moved so freakin' much. Seriously, why does mom have to run away from all her problems? Dad always taught me to face them head on. I miss him a lot; I think of him every new place we go. The longest I have ever stayed anywhere was the last place I was at, California. We were there for two years, long enough for me to make some good friends. I miss them. I only had two, my boss, Dan Tripp and his daughter Mandy. I remember the way Tripp used to call us M&M. That was a lot of fun. Tripp was supposed to move up here to Washington, but I don't know. It would be a dream come true if he did. He was like a second father to me. He even knew my dad! Apparently they were high school buddies, until Tripp moved in the middle of senior year. Mom and Dad never got married but they had had me any way. Senior year was the year that made my mom the maddest. I don't know why. Well apparently she didn't want a kid in high school. My dad wouldn't let her kill me. My mom lived with it for 5 years. Apparently she was all fed up because she left. Wonderful isn't it? I have lived with my dad for 10 years, mom only 7. You would think that a person would get used to it, the others habits, but not so easy with mom. Dan had told me something my dad had told him, but was going to tell me at graduation but obviously; here I am in senior year without my dad. Tripp told me right before we left and he said that you can climb a thousand hills and see a million cities but never see the true beauty in it all. I never understood what he meant. Sure I had been to many places, climbed a thousand hills. What I saw was a woman who moved from place to place, to run away. I didn't realize he was talking about my mom until I was on the road again. Celina Gomez, the wonderful all time purposeful person who pretended to see the good but only saw one thing, males. She kept moving from place to place because she wanted to "see the World in its true glory." HA! That was a good laugh. She didn't really care for Tripp though, because he was a part of her past. He was also associated with my dad. For some reason, I guess it was luck or something; I got to meet Tripp and stay with him. Mindy was a designer girl, but she was off in College in New York. I wasn't very glad she moved there but it was just before I moved here to Washington so I wasn't that upset. Washington, the evergreen state. It liked to rain here apparently. We hadn't seen much rain in California. I love cold weather. Sun is nice but I grew up spending 10 years in Alaska. Fairbanks to be more precise. In the summer, the sun hardly set, in the winter, you barely saw the sun. When dad died and I had to go live with mom, it was sure weird having the sun up and down every day. I was finally used to it. Back to Washington, the only state named after a president. I did some research on this place at my other schools, and I had a pen pal that I still wrote to sometimes, who lived here, Lisa Benson. She was supposed to be attending the same public high school as me, Royal Benson Academy. In a letter I had once asked her if she was in any way related to the school, she said no. It was just a coincidence. I wouldn't know what she looked like; I have never seen a picture of her. Sure, she had described herself but I have never actually seen her. I was starting this year with everyone else. Maybe this year would be different. I am really good about surviving on my own; one would have to be in order to live with my mother. Basically I was somewhat invisible. She was driven to take care of me by a guilt trip that someone had laid on her, but I don't know how long it would last. I am surprised it lasted this long. The new school I am at is fairly nice; the instructors seem to know what they are doing. According to the counselor, it is the best in the area. I want to go visit the space needle while I'm here. That would be something worth doing. I noticed two guys in my classes. They must be friends. They hung out together all day. One was dark-haired the other was dirty blonde. The dark-haired dude was in all of my classes, including my college class, which is nothing more than taking an online college course. I had been doing this for about four years. As a freshman my counselor signed me up because according to her, I was smart enough. I love cars, and technology. Trying to make friends is kind of hard but I just go with the flow until I have a better plan. The dirty blonde had a girlfriend, I don't know her name. It struck me as odd; she looked like I had pictured Lisa. I wanted to meet her, but I didn't really know how. I can't wait until I turn 18! Then I won't have to move around! That thought is what keeps me going, that and my dad. Sometimes I wonder if May-

"Maxine, I need you to go get some dinner!"

Grumbling on the inside I grabbed my keys and my wallet off of my desk. I just had to look at my drivers' license one more time. I'm not very photogenic but that card was my passport to freedom. Mom had her own car and I had mine. Walking out the door, I walked to the parking lot. I saw my prized possession sitting there in the parking space numbered 12. My black mustang with yellow, orange, and red flames on it was sitting there all shiny like I like to have it. I take care of my car. I wash my mom's car too. Even if she is irritating my dad told me to always respect the authority. I am trying very hard, but my stubborn streak and my personality that was just like dads made it a challenge. I drove to Domino's Pizza and picked up a medium cheese pizza with olives and pineapple. Driving back to the apartment place, I parked my car. I saw the two guys from school getting out of a white Toyota. They must be visiting or live here. I thought about saying hi but mom was probably getting impatient for her food. Walking in the door I found to discover that mom wasn't there. I looked through the whole apartment but she wasn't there. Not to be so shocking, mom tended to leave without any notice. I put the pizza on the table, and noticed a note on the counter. Wow, she actually bothered to tell me where she went. Shocking, really.

"Dear Max,

I won't be home till tomorrow, some things came up. Sorry about missing dinner"

I doubted she was that sorry. "Some things" was her way of saying a boyfriend called and they wouldn't be back until late. I rolled my eyes, tossed the note in the garbage and sat down to eat my pizza. I ate two slices then put the rest in the fridge. Not knowing what to do I sat down on the couch.

Next thing I know someone is knocking at the door. I got up and opened it. I must have fallen asleep. On the other side of the door was the two guys who I saw at school and then in the parking lot.
"Hi. I am Logan, this is Brett. Welcome to Brickside Apartments," the dark-haired one said smiling offering his hand for a handshake.

I shook it saying, "Hello. I am Max. So this is Brickside Apartments, huh? Where are the bricks?"

The apartment place had hardy plank on the outside but no bricks anywhere.

They laughed; I smiled and offered them inside. They came in.

"You can sit on the couch," I suggested. They both sat down. I decided to sit on the floor. They were very polite and they made some polite conversation. Brett was 17 and Logan was 17 as well. When I asked when their birthdays were Brett commented "Logan's is April 9th and mine is April 11th."

"Really?" I said surprised. "My birthday is April 10th."

"No kidding?" Brett said.

"No kidding."

Brett looked like he had just noticed something.

"Did you say your name was Max?" He asked

"Yes. My full name is Maxine Hardy but I prefer Max." I looked at Brett, waiting for some response.

Brett turned to Logan and said "This might be Lisa's pen pal. Her name is Max."

Pen pal? Wait! I knew what they were talking about. So it was Lisa!

"You know Lisa Benson?" I asked excitedly.

"Know her? She is my girlfriend." Brett said smiling.

"Wow, ok. I would like to meet her. We have been pen pals for a while now. I wrote and told her I was moving up here and she said that she went to the same school but I didn't know what she looked like. I have never seen a picture of her. She's described herself, but I've never actually seen her."

This was getting pretty neat. I would finally have some friends here. And it was only my second week here. That was amazing. I am not the most sociable person around, I am not rude, I just don't talk. I prefer to keep to myself most of the time.

"Do you have any siblings?" I asked Logan.

"Yup," Logan said and pointed to Brett. "Him."

"No kidding? I figured you guys were close. You guys hang out together all day long."

"You don't get much closer than me and Logan," Brett informed me. "He is adopted."
"I'm sorry. If you don't know mind my asking, what happened to your parents?"

"No," Logan said smiling. "They, um, died when I was young. I don't remember exactly, it was something like my dad and mom both got sick. I don't know what it was, apparently something deadly."

I felt sorry for him. That was positively awful!
"Do you live with any parents?" He asked me.

"My mom," I said scowling. I didn't care if they saw. I didn't like it one bit.

"Dad divorced?"

"Nope. He's dead." I said that, and it came out sounding flat. I guess they hadn't had anyone say something like that so flat because Logan said, "I'm sorry."

I could tell he didn't know quite what to say to that. Neither of them did.

"It's ok," I informed them. "I have a tendency to just say stuff to the point, its how I am I guess."

"Hey, it's alright, I mean we just met you so I guess we have a lot to learn."

Logan's last comment went and made everything awkward. I found myself wanting to keep looking at Logan, I knew why but I didn't want to admit it to myself. I just met the guy. No way was I about to admit I liked him. He was cute, yes. He was nice, well so far anyway.

"So where did you come from?" Brett asked me, breaking the awkwardness.

I laughed, it came out sounding rude. "Sorry," I apologized "I didn't mean that laugh to come out the way it did. Actually, I have been a lot of places. New York, Oregon, New Jersey, Alaska, Wisconsin, Arkansas, Arizona, North and South Dakota, the list goes on. I haven't been to all 50 states though. I wouldn't mind doing that, but not by moving and having to switch schools."

"Whoa. You like to travel?" Logan asked, looking surprised.

I thought about my answer. I didn't need these people feeling sorry for me and I didn't really want to tell them about how annoying my mom was, running away from everything.
"Max," she would tell me. "We are moving again. No buts this time. I feel I would do better in a change of place. This will be the last time we move, I promise." I actually believed her the first time. After the fifth, I started to see the truth. She ran away from her past, didn't like to bring it up. I had a bunch of unanswered questions that I wanted answers to, but had none.

"Hardly. Mom just decides she's had enough of a place and moves."

That wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. Oh well, they didn't need to know the whole truth.

"That's gotta suck," Logan commented, shaking his head. "Didn't you make any friends? Didn't you have anyone to miss you?"

My brain half froze when he said that last part. "Didn't you have anyone to miss you?" that answer was simple. No, the only real person I actually kept in contact with was Lisa, and the more places we went, the less I wanted to meet people. It became less important. I knew I wouldn't be staying more than a year at the most so I didn't even bother to try to make friends.

"Uh, well, no. We moved so much that the people I saw, I knew I would never see again anyway so I didn't bother to make friends. Besides, usually I got there in the middle of the year, and everybody already had their friends. I don't really care for people; you might say I am not a people person. I'm rather out of the social network."

Logan seemed to be talking and looking directly at me, forgetting that Brett was there.

"Haven't you guys ever moved?" I asked them. "Moving isn't all that bad, you get used to it." I shrugged. Then seeing the feeling sorry for me start to come on their faces I added "Don't feel sorry for me, it really isn't all that bad."

Brett's phone rang and he answered it. "Hello? Oh, hi Lisa. Yeah, I do…ok." Then whispering to us he said "it's Lisa. I am going to take this call out side." He walked out the door continuing to talk to Lisa.

"So, I would take it that you have never had a boyfriend either then?" Logan asked me, looking in my eyes. What does he want? No duh I haven't had a boyfriend. As far as I was concerned I wasn't going to get one. I never spent enough time in one spot. I felt my cheeks flush. That was embarrassing and I hadn't expected it, so it was harder to cover up. Logan saw my face get pink and said "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you embarrassed."

I laughed nervously. "Uh, well, no. We, uh, never really, uh stayed anywhere long enough for um, that to even enter my brain."

"Well, you are certainly pretty enough."

I felt my face flush again. I wished he would stop. I felt my heart beat speed up and get so loud that I was sure he could hear it.

"I, well, thank you." I looked down at my crossed legs. He had given me a compliment. That was something I hadn't heard in a long time from someone other than a teacher. Logan smiled. Dang! Why did I of all people have to like that smile? Sheesh, I was starting to sound like my mom and it was scaring me. I shuddered.

"Hey, are you ok?" Logan asked, getting up and squatting down in front of me.

"Yeah fine."

"Liar."

"Are you saying that I'm lying?" I asked, with a crooked smile growing on my face.

"Yes, I am." Logan stared right back at me. He was flirting with me, and I found myself liking it. That made me start to get mad. "Me and Mom don't really get along." I started, then stopped. Why did this guy even care?

"And…?" Logan prompted, waiting for me to continue talking. I was getting frustrated, not understanding why he even cared.

"Why do you even want to know?" I asked him, rather rudely. "I'm sorry for sounding rude. It's just that, like I said, I'm not a very social person. I can get along with people, but I don't really know how to carry on conversations and," I stopped again, realizing that I wasn't making any sense. "Ugh, just forget it," I told him, shaking my head.

"I would like to know because I get this feeling that you aren't telling me the whole truth and I would like to get to know you a little better." Logan said calmly, apparently not caring that about what I had just said.

"I haven't been telling you the whole truth. I don't want you guys feeling sorry for me. I made the mistake of telling a counselor once, she made us move again. The whole thing is really complicated, and I don't really know how to explain it, okay?" I was getting irritated at the whole thing.

"I'm sorry if it's so much trouble. I can understand complicated things. Are you afraid that if you tell me, I'm going to feel like I have to tell someone else and that will make you move again?" Logan asked.

"Yeah," I admitted, "I am." I looked at Logan's face, and read it perfectly. "No, she doesn't abuse me. She used to hit me when she got really mad, but now she doesn't. Mainly I just stay out of her way." I added.

"Max, will you please tell me? I won't tell anyone, I promise."

I looked into Logan's pleading face. I could tell he wanted to know, so he could care about me, and be a friend. Well, at least that's what I thought I saw. I am pretty sure though, I pride myself on being a good judge of character.

"You really want to know? Fine! I'll tell you! I have an issue, ok? I have moved so freaking much that I don't know many people. I only know Lisa by letters and that isn't good enough. I tried to make friends, and then they just blew me away and pretended to care but didn't. I've lived in a world filled with fakes for so long that I am tired of it. That's why I never make any friends. Tripp and Mindy actually cared about me, and now they're not even here!" I blew out a big breath; it ended up going in Logan's face, blowing his hair out from around his face. I started to laugh, not an appropriate reaction after you just got done yelling at somebody, I had discovered.

"Sorry," I apologized.

"Hmm…" Logan said thoughtfully. "I have a question, am I allowed to care about you? I know you might not know this now, but I really would like to be your friend."

"Yes, you're allowed to care. Also, I'm not much for romantic either. I just feel like I would end up like my mom if I allowed it." I looked down. "I do not want to end up like that, not at all."

"Impossible."

Brett came back in. "Miss me?" he joked.

He took one look at me and Logan and opened his mouth.

"Not a word." Logan said pointing his finger at Brett. "I'll explain later."

"Huh?" I was completely confused.

Logan looked at me. I looked at him; he was now sitting in front of me. We were both sitting on the floor facing each other.

"Oh, I get it." I said, causing Brett and Logan to start laughing. I knew they were laughing at me but I didn't care. It felt nice, like we were old friends or something.

"We were just talking about me and my not having a boyfriend." I gave a half smile.

"Oh really?" Brett said looking suspiciously at Logan. "Wow, Mr. Don't waste time, is back eh?" He was teasing Logan, and it was funny. I started laughing uncontrollably. Logan and Brett both looked at me.

"Payback, Serves you right." I told Logan, whose face was red from embarrassment. He stuck his tongue out at me, making me laugh harder.

"Don't die," Logan said. "I'm sure it's not that funny."

Finally getting control of myself I took some deep breaths. Brett's cell phone rang again. As he answered it, Logan commented "Phone Central today." Then seeing my confused expression he added, "Brett's phone has been ringing a lot today."

"Ah, got it." I understood.

"Hey, we have to go now, Tami said home in five." Brett informed Logan.

"Nice to meet you guys." I said getting up to show them out the door.

"Same here," Logan and Brett said simultaneously.

As Logan walked out the door, he said, "Like I said Max, Impossible. You can't be that bad."

"You'd be surprised," I responded.

Logan stopped, and looked at me, a smile forming on his face. "Well then, looks like I'll have to see about that then."

With that he turned around and walked after Brett.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------