This is certainly an interesting story. Written for Flames of Wrath as an author challenge piece. Thank you Flames of Wrath for such an interesting topic! Please enjoy and, at the end, review. I need feedback to see how people like my fics!
Disclaimer: I do not own Neji or any other ninja. Or any illnesses due to physical or mental conditions.
Oh yeah, they all knew what was going on. There were ninja everywhere, just not as visible as one would expect. They were all going into hiding on this terrible day that comes only once annually, physical examination day. It's no wonder every ninja in the land dreaded it, for it was a time of terror when one was made to breath deeply with cold, hard, metal placed on the chest. It was a day of vaccinations with large, unnecessary needles. And worst of all, it was the day of weighing in. You heard me correctly, weighing in day. Nobody was supposed to find out another ninja's weight, but sadly, it happened all the time. Those poor souls who were not at a socially acceptable weight were shunned, living out life in a dark abyss, a life composed of only eating due to the shame.
Yep, today was that day. Most ninja did not have to worry about their figure, for rigorous training had shaped them well, but others had much to lose. One by one the shinobi standing in line were called into the little, sterile, rooms in order to be physically evaluated. Tall, strange, men, and short, timid women rushed from room to room with official looking clipboards. Senseis hurriedly found their students and rushed them to the line, they couldn't hide forever.
Neji Hyuuga himself had to be caught, with much resistance, by Gai and chaperoned to the line. Glaring, he watched as Sakura, Chouji, and Kiba all got called into different rooms. "Hn, prodigies react badly to prodding." He pointedly looked at Gai with a vicious expression at this point, hoping he'd get the gist.
Unfortunately, Gai was too thick to get it. "Oh Neji, they're licensed. They need to check how youthfully healthy you are! It wouldn't do to have rabies and have nobody know about it, now would it?" When he didn't get a response Gai just gave him the good guy pose. In truth Gai knew that the Hyuugas had their own doctors and regular checkups to keep them healthy. He was persistent about Neji getting a physical examination because it made Lee feel on the same level as the Hyuuga. If he was let above the rules, Lee would be absolutely crushed.
Neji grimaced as his name was called and he was made to step into the nearest room. A thin, lanky, doctor was to perform his checkup. "Ah, you must be Neji Hyuuga. We'll be doing a few tests. Could you please open your mouth and go 'Ahhhh'?"
Now, Neji usually wasn't one to be difficult, but this was a special case. He planned to be as difficult as possible for the man and give him the death glare the entire time. "I see no reason."
The doctor frowned. "Come now, you're being childish. It's not that bad, all results are completely confidential."
"Hn." Somehow, the doctor made it all throughout the examination without any unfortunate accidents.
"See Neji? You're completely healthy. All vaccinated with no current illnesses. You weigh…" He checked his clipboard, "Approximately 101 pounds."
Neji grunted and left the office, eager to get as far away as possible. 101 pounds isn't too bad. It's not enough for people to make fun of me. I guess I'm okay…
And with that, an unsuspecting Hyuuga left to go about his business.
"Oh Neji! We heard about your terrible crisis! We came to tell you that, no matter what, we're here for you!" Ino and Sakura practically crashed into him, despite his Byakugan.
"Crisis?" He definitely did not feel like dealing with them right now. Whatever his 'crisis' was, he was sure it could wait.
Lee and Tenten came running down the street, panting, obviously trying to catch up with Sakura and Ino.
"Neji, they're referring to your weight issue…" Tenten got quiet as Neji raised an uninterested eyebrow.
"Neji, we're going to help you with your unhealthy weight! Don't worry, just eat some of my specially formulated meals and…" Ino's face lit up with realization and she gave a small gasp. "That's why your weight is unhealthily low, you don't eat!"
Lee took up the subject. "Oh Neji, why must you be anorexic!?"
Neji wasn't used to rumors about him going around and was a bit stressed out by the whole ordeal. With an exasperated sigh, Neji turned to the four behind him and addressed them. "I'm at a perfectly healthy weight. If I'm correct, you girls range from the seventies to the nineties and Lee only weighs two pounds more than me." They couldn't argue with that logic.
Or maybe they could. "But girls naturally weigh less. And Lee is perfectly healthy, you'd be amazed at how much two pounds can be." Ino's logic was imperfect, to say the least.
"Pssst, Ino! I don't think Neji wants to be bothered. We have to catch him off guard to fix his problem."
"I can hear you Sakura…" Those girls couldn't even be quiet if they tried. You'd think with ninja stealth one might gain the ability to whisper.
"Neji, we're just asking you to do something about your problem, we're even willing to help." Tenten was the most concerned. If Neji did not eat enough then his training suffered and, in turn, so did hers.
"Fine. If I eat more, you must leave me alone." Best take a leaf out of Shikamaru's book and just give in.
"Yosh! Your youthful side has prevailed!"
And so, Neji was forced to brave a world full of Konoichi cooking and careful weight monitoring.
Tied to a chair in who knows where, Neji was being spoon fed strange foods. Groaning, he turned his head the other way when a soup of some sort came at his mouth. There was no way he could possibly look at food ever again, never mind actually eat it. The girls and Lee would probably not even remember this a few days from now, but Neji certainly would. It seemed as if their plan had had the opposite effect, Neji now could not stand food.
And so went the day that Neji became anorexic. For a while.
