Rachel Berry: Unbroken

"Hey dwarf, did anyone tell you that you dress like one of the bate girls on To Catch a Predator?" Santana Lopez asked mockingly, laughing hysterically to herself.

"You're shrieking makes me want to just punch you!" Quinn Fabray said, smiling.

Rachel Berry backed up against her locker, realizing she was trapped. Immediately, the Cheerios grabbed Rachel by her hair and dragged her into the bathroom. Rachel cried out in pain. Santana shoved her against a wall, and Rachel realized she couldn't go anywhere. Quinn slapped her on the cheek lightly.

"Why are you being so mean to me?" Rachel asked shakily.

"Well, you're fat!" a Cheerio spat at her.

"And ugly," another one added.

"Do the world a favor and get your fat, ugly, untalented, annoying ass out of here!"

"Everybody hates you!"

"Burn in hell, Berry!"

The comments immediately had Rachel starting to tear up. "At least I didn't get pregnant last year!" she shouted.

"What did you just say?!" Quinn yelled. She immediately grabbed Rachel by her hair and shoved her to the ground, and the Cheerios immediately began taking turns to punch her and kick her in the stomach. Rachel screamed and thrashed on the bathroom floor, crying out, "Stop! Stop please! Somebody help me, oh God!"

She then heard the door slam open and somebody ran in. She felt somebody stroking her hair anxiously, looking up and realizing it was Kurt and Mercedes.

"Rachel, Rach, you alright?" Kurt asked, visibly worried. Mercedes gently helped her sit up. Kurt rubbed her back. "What happened here?"

"Rachel, are you okay? Did somebody hit you?" Mercedes asked.

Rachel groaned as she went to her hands and knees, clutching her belly. "No," she gasped out. "I just got a really bad stomach cramp, that's all."

Kurt locked his arm tightly around Rachel's waist, helping her up. "Well, if she or anybody else gets anymore 'stomach cramps,' we're taking this to Mr. Schue!" he told the cheerleaders coolly. He then looked over to Rachel. "C'mon," he told her soothingly. "It's okay."

As the three left, Rachel looked back at the smirking cheerleaders. Somehow, she managed to compose herself and made it through the rest of the day.


During the next few weeks, Rachel couldn't stop thinking about what the cheerleaders had said to her.

Are they telling the truth? Am I fat? Am I ugly? Rachel thought every time she looked at herself in the mirror. Once she got into school however, she slowly started to believe it was the truth. Several times a day Quinn would slam her into a locker and say, "Hey little piggy! Oink, oink!" and poke her in the stomach, as if to say she really was fat. Santana would also call her "Orca" several times, and once, when she saw Rachel reaching over for a chocolate chip cookie during lunch, she said, "Are you really gonna eat that, honey? Do you wanna get fatter?" Several cheerleaders would say, "Hey fatso!" and "Why would Finn Hudson want to date that? She's a whale!" That was the most hurtful comment of all. No wonder she didn't have any friends. Nobody wanted to be friends with some fat pig.

One day, after being shoved by Santana and being called "Fatty," by another Cheerio, Rachel ran into the bathroom and completely broke down, silently sobbing as she locked the stall door. She immediately searched through her bag and found what she was looking for: her hot pink razor blade; the thin piece of steal that made her feel something. She sniffled silently, rolled the sleeve of her thin sweater up, and examined her arms, which were decorated with scars from the first time she cut herself; she was fourteen, the first time she was ever called "fat." She pressed the blade to her wrist and sliced her skin open, blood opening up from the cut. She then cut herself again and moved onto her left wrist. She closed her eyes shut as tears trickled down her cheeks. Her skin slicing open was comforting to her. Immediately, she grabbed some tissue and pressed down on her wrist until the bleeding stopped, slapped on some ointment, a couple of bandages, and rolled her sleeve down. Her stomach growled. She hadn't eaten anything that morning, and she was skipping lunch for this. She then nibbled on a cracker she had in a ziplock baggy. She then exited the bathroom, feeling better. That was until she heard a cheerleader say, "Not quite there yet, little piggy! Oink, oink!" It took all her willpower not to break down. Little did she know that Kurt and Mercedes were watching from the distance.


Kurt felt completely and utterly horrible. Seeing Rachel being abused like that made him sick. Sure, Rachel Berry can be a complete pain in the ass all the time, but he couldn't even imagine what she was feeling. He looked over at Mercedes, worried for his friend.

"She'll be alright?" he asked nervously.

"I don't know," Mercedes admitted. "She hasn't been eating all week long, and I heard her several times in the bathroom crying. I think we should keep an eye on her."

"God, this is so damn similar to what we tried last year!" Kurt moaned, his blue eyes wide with concern.

"Yeah, we can't just let Rachel end up like that," Mercedes said.

"Do you think we should try talking to her?" Kurt asked.

"I highly doubt she'll listen. Once Rachel sets her mind to something, she's stubborn about it," Mercedes said.

"We have to make her listen whether she likes it or not. Okay? Do you know how many people can die from eating disorders? Trust me, I've seen the pictures online, and they're pretty graphic. The last thing I want is for Rachel to. . . " Kurt felt tears coming to his eyes. "I can't even think it."

"I know." Mercedes put a hand on his shoulder gently.

"We need to talk to Rachel," Kurt said shakily.

Mercedes nodded in agreement. They needed to help Rachel. Operation save Rachel Berry.


The next day in glee club, Kurt and Mercedes sat together, and examined Rachel. They noticed she was getting thinner. Has she been eating anything?

Rachel sat next to Finn, his arm around her. Kurt was shocked that his soon-to-be-stepbrother was so oblivious about the situation. But then again, this is Finn, we're talking about here.

Mr. Schuester got up to the front of the classroom, starting to ask everyone about song selections. Rachel was unusually quiet, rather than giving out suggestions for the set list. Kurt felt sick. This wasn't like Rachel.

Once the meeting was over, Rachel got up and Kurt and Mercedes followed her. She was heading to the bathroom. Rachel looked over her shoulder, and as soon as she noticed them, she walked faster to the bathroom. When they heard the bathroom door lock, they gasped in horror.

"Rach, can we talk?" Mercedes asked.

"Rachel, we want to talk to you! Let us in!" Kurt called through the door.

"Rachel, honey come on!" Mercedes pleaded. They were cut off by the sound of retching, and they immediately realized Rachel was throwing up.

"Rach, this is very unhealthy!" Kurt said. "Let us in!"

They heard Rachel continuing to vomit, and they heard her sobbing as well.

"C'mon, we'll try in a few days," Mercedes said. "Let her do this on her own."

"But, Mercedes, she's killing herself!" Kurt cried out, tears threatening to spill over. "How are we supposed to?"

"Let's give her a few days on her own. Maybe she'll have a realization." Mercedes shrugged.


It's been about five months since Kurt and Mercedes found out about Rachel's bulimia and tried talking to her. They saw Rachel a few times during lunch, sitting alone, nibbling on carrots and looking like she was going to cry every time she took a bite. One day, Kurt and Mercedes both came up to her at lunch. They sat down on either side of her.

"Hey," Kurt told her.

Rachel looked up and forced a smile onto her face. "Hey, guys."

"So listen, 'Cedes and I are going to the mall later. Do you wanna come?" Kurt asked her.

Rachel was a little confused at this. Why did Kurt and Mercedes suddenly want to hang out with her? Rachel thought about it, but decided against it. With all the food courts and the different aromas of hot dogs, burgers, tacos and coffee, Rachel wouldn't be able to stop binge eating, and then, she would have to find a bathroom to puke in. She shook her head.

"Look, that's nice, but, I have homework to do later," Rachel said hastily.

"Rach, are you feeling alright?" Mercedes asked her.

"I'm fine," Rachel said with a shrug. But on the inside, she wanted to break down crying and screaming and tell them everything so the pain and hurt and torture could end.

"Rachel, we're just worried about you," Kurt said.

Rachel just shrugged. "I'm fine, okay? You both have nothing to worry about." She then got up and left, unaware of Kurt choking back a cry.

As Rachel walked down the hall, she heard the Cheerios snickering, saying, "Oh, look at the giant elephant in the room! Hey fat ass!" and, "Oink, oink, oink!"

Rachel shook her head as she felt tears coming to her eyes.

"Awe! Poor wittle baby!" Quinn said mockingly. She slapped Rachel's cheek, giggling, and Santana stroked her hair.

"Leave me alone!" Rachel said shakily.

Santana chuckled. "Fatty!" she said, and pushed Rachel into a wall. The Cheerios laughed as Rachel started to emotionally break down. As Rachel ran to the closest bathroom she could find as she heard Quinn yelling, "Run fatso, run!" Before Rachel could make it to the restroom, Quinn grabbed Rachel's hair and tugged it hard, causing Rachel to scream and struggle and Santana to laugh as she punched Rachel in the stomach as she said, "Fatty! Whale! Big, blubbering, fat, ugly piggy!" Finally, after getting into the bathroom and locking the stall door, she pulled out her razor and sliced her wrists open five times, and then went to the toilet. She gagged until she felt bile building up in her throat, and she retched. She could hear the Cheerios mocking her.

Piggy

Fatty

Whale

Big, Fat Blubbering Baby

Orca

Oink

Oink

Oink

Fat ass

Fatso

Rachel covered her ears, trying to block the voices in her head, and she immediately started to cry hysterically. She continued to shove her hand down her throat and vomited for fifteen minutes. After what seemed like hours of finger-shoving, gagging and vomiting, Rachel got up from the toilet, but bile rose back into her throat. She threw up again and again. She then heard footsteps coming from outside the stall.

"Rachel?" It was Kurt; he was knocking on the door.

"Babe, are you feeling alright?" Mercedes.

"Rachel, sweetie, open the door; we wanna talk to you," Kurt pleaded. "You know I can break in the door, right?"

"Rach, c'mon. Let us in!" Mercedes said.

"No!" Rachel cried out.

"Rachel, honey, we just wanna talk; we're not mad at you we just wanna help!" Kurt said, trying to assure her.

"Leave me alone!" Rachel yelled. She continued to throw up.

"Honey, c'mon this isn't healthy! You gotta stop!" Mercedes said.

"No!" Rachel cried out again, choking on her own vomit. Her throat hurt from vomiting.

"Rachel, sweetheart, please! Let us help you!" Kurt begged.

"I don't have a problem; I just have a small stomach bug that's all!" Rachel said.

"Are you sure? Do you want us to take you to the nurse?" Mercedes asked.

"N-n-no I'm fine! I'll live! I'm okay," Rachel insisted.

As soon as she heard Mercedes and Kurt leave, Rachel took a shaky break. She got out of the stall, looking at herself in the mirror. All she saw was a big, fat, blubbering piggy. But Kurt and Mercedes. . .She shook her head, more confused than anything.


Kurt and Mercedes went to their lockers, feeling defeated.

"I can't believe she's doing this. She's lost so much weight as it is. Sometimes I can hear her stomach growl. She's sick. She needs help," Kurt said as he moisturized his hands. "Rachel's a beautiful girl. She doesn't need to throw up and make herself skinnier."

"I know, Kurt, but she's stubborn; she won't listen to us," Mercedes said. "And did you notice all the scars on her wrists? She's hurting herself to deal with the bullying! It's not right, but she's convincing herself that she doesn't have a problem and that she's doing the right thing. If we don't do something to help her soon, she could end up in a hospital."

"I know, but how can we get her to listen?" Kurt asked.

"I don't know, Kurt," Mercedes said.

"I'll try talking to her tomorrow," Kurt said.


Kurt followed Rachel into the bathroom the following afternoon. This was his chance. The minute he walked into the restroom, he heard the sounds of Rachel throwing up and choking and sobbing hysterically. Gently and quietly, he pushed the stall door open, horrified by what he saw. Rachel was done retching into the toilet, but was curled in a tight ball for dear life. Her wrists were decorated with scars, cuts and blood as she gripped tightly to a razor, and her eyes were filled with tears. Rachel's head was pounding with a headache, her throat hurt from vomiting, and the perfume she was wearing struggled to disguse the smell of vomit. Kurt closed the door and locked it. He knelt down in front of her.

"Rachel," he said softly. "Rachel, honey, give me the razor." He reached out and stroked her hair.

Rachel flinched trying to back away from Kurt, her eyes wide in fear. "N-n-no," she whimpered out. "I-I need it."

"Rach, sweetheart, please. Don't make me take it from you." Kurt extended his hand forward to take the sharp object out of Rachel's grasp. He reached over to pry it from her hands. After some more pushing, Rachel dropped the razor down on the porcelain floor, buried her face in her knees, and sobs wracked her body. Kurt moved next to her, and Rachel was surprised when Kurt pulled her into a tight hug, rocking her back and forth.

"Shh, honey it's alright, shhhh, babe, it's okay," Kurt whispered in her ear. "Talk to me. What's wrong, hon?"

"I don't know!" Rachel said tearfully, looking up at him with watery eyes. "Quinn and Santana and the Cheerios keep telling me I'm fat and ugly, but you and Mercedes. . ." She shook her head.

"Wait, those months before, was it Santana and Quinn who hit you? When you said you had a 'stomach cramp'?" Kurt asked, concerned.

Rachel nodded. "I didn't know why they were being so mean to me, and when I asked them why they said I was fat."

Kurt was shocked. He couldn't believe Quinn and Santana would do something that cruel.

Rachel's head was starting to pound, and she felt dizzy. She thought she was going to pass out.

"Are you alright?" Kurt asked.

"I think I'm gonna pass out," Rachel moaned. She felt too weak to get up to her feet.

To that, Kurt pulled a protien bar out of his backpack, along with a juice box.

"No thanks I'm not hungry," Rachel whimpered.

"Yes you are," Kurt said softly. "You're starving. Eat the protien bar."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Rachel asked tearfully.

"Because I've been there, remember?" Kurt reminded her. "The last thing I want is for you to end up like that."

Rachel accepted the food Kurt was giving her and slowly started to eat, shedding tears until she finally finished the protien bar and juice box. Kurt rubbed her back soothingly and stood up, pulling Rachel to her feet, his arm firmly around her waist. Rachel looked over at Kurt's jacket and blushed, embarrassed.

"Oh God I think I just got some blood on your coat," she whimpered.

"Don't worry I can take it to the dry cleaners," Kurt assured her. "C'mon."

He helped her walk over to the mirror, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Look at yourself and tell me what you see," Kurt said gently.

"Nothing but fat," Rachel said tearfully.

"Look again."

Rachel then took another look, and gasped in shock. Her cheeks were sunken, her elbows were knobby, her fingers were bony, her waist was only flesh and bones, and her teeth were a horrible yellow color, as well as her fingernails. Her clothes were limp on her body. She suddenly felt more tears flooding her eyes.

"Rach?" Kurt asked.

Rachel immediately turned around, her weak knees gave in, and she collapsed in Kurt's arms, sobbing and crying loudly.

"Kurt, what's wrong with me?!" she yelled, clutching onto Kurt like life depended on it.

"It's alright," Kurt said gently, allowing her to stain his expensive McQueen jacket with salt water. He didn't care if his clothes were ruined. All he cared about right now was Rachel. He leaned his head over and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek to dry her tears. "Rachel, you don't have to feel this way anymore, 'cause 'Cedes and I, we're gonna help you. And so is everyone else who loves you, and accepts you the way you are. And if Santana and Quinn can't accept that than, screw 'em."

Rachel nodded stifling. "Okay," she mumbled.

"It's okay, doll. You'll get better soon, alright?" Kurt took Rachel's hand and squeezed it hard. A part of Rachel still felt fat, but another part of her realized she was sick. She certainly felt very sick.

Mercedes then came into the bathroom, going over to the two of them. Mercedes took Rachel into her arms, rubbing her back as Kurt continued to sqeeze her hand. Rachel continued to sob so badly she was shaking.

"Shh," Mercedes told Rachel softly. Rachel let out a whimper. "It's okay, Hot Momma. You are beautiful. Don't let Quinn and Santana take that away from you."