Vanilla
Follow up to Physical and Sympathy, though you don't need to read either to understand this.
It's the night before their first mission. Their first time outside the walls. It wasn't going to be anything like their dreams of walking across a land with no titans and swimming in the ocean, but Eren still sees it as progress. She's nervous, though. All of them were. She would bet that even the older members who've done this countless time before are nervous. It was mostly because she doesn't know what tomorrow will bring or what the outcome will be.
She shifts her weight from foot to foot. She's currently standing outside of Jean's room. They haven't talked much since the night he carried her back to her room. It's understandable, they're both busy preparing. But still, she wants that proper good night kiss and tonight might be her last chance.
She doesn't like thinking that way. She never has and she never will. But it's what's realistic and she knows that falling into her own fantasies is dangerous.
She knocks on the door after standing there for a good five minutes. She hears Jean say come in and she does so, closing the door softly behind her.
He's sitting on his bed, legs crossed. He has a book in his hands. Eren recognizes it instantly; she remembers reading it with Armin when they were young. From what she can tell, it's The Sorcerer's Stone, but she doesn't take the chance to ask as she's suddenly memorized by the fact that he's wearing glasses.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she can hear the voice telling her to snap out of it. What's wrong with you? it asks, Why are glasses affecting you so much? Why does he affect you so much?
"Hey," she finally says.
"Hey," he dog ears the page while closing the book and setting it aside. He takes off his glasses and sets them on top of the book.
"I didn't know you wore glasses," she says, her eyes following his every movement. What if this is the last time we properly see each other?
"Only when I'm reading." He sits and pats the empty space next to him. Eren discards her jacket and makes her way to the bed, plopping down next to him.
"Did you borrow that book from Armin?"
"Yeah. He said that he thought I'd like the series. I'm only a few chapters in, but it's interesting so far."
"We read that series all the time as kids. It was one of my favorites. When mom sent us to gather wood we used to play around and pretend we were wizards."
Jean chuckles, "That's weirdly adorable."
"Shut up." She rests her head on his shoulder. "Enough small talk. Are you ready for tomorrow?"
"No, not really. Are you?" his arm slips around her waist, pulling her closer.
"Not at all." She sighs, "It's kind of terrifying. But it's also not because I feel like we've gone through this before. Even though it was inside the walls."
Jean stiffens at this, his mind flying back to Marco.
"Sorry," she says almost automatically when she notices.
He shakes his head. "No, no. Don't apologize, that's not our fault."
"It's not yours, either," she counters.
There's a pause. Then, "Eren." His voice is a whisper.
"It's not. I know you feel responsible because he was your best friend and you have no idea what happened. But don't you dare blame yourself. Besides, Marco wouldn't want that."
He's quiet for a while. Eventually he says, "Since when were you a voice of reason?"
"Hey!"
"It's kind of hot."
"Wha—oh."
"Oh?"
"Oh."
He raises an eyebrow at her. "What is it, Eren?"
"Nothing." He waits for her to continue, knowing she will when she's ready. "I know it sounds dumb, but I've honestly been waiting for that proper good night kiss." She lifts her head from his shoulder, contemplating something for a moment, and then moving to straddle him. Her hands rest on his chest for a moment before she feathers her fingers across his skin and around his neck. She looks so concentrated and Jean thinks it's cute, but doesn't voice his thoughts.
Her eyes meet his. "What if this is our last chance? What if one of us dies tomorrow?" her voice is quiet but strong, though the look on her face betrays what she's feeling. She's more afraid than she will ever admit.
"You have to be positive."
"That could make things worse. Getting your hopes up isn't always a good thing."
"Then let's be realistic. One of us might die. Both of us might die. Maybe neither of us will die."
"I'd rather it be me than you."
"Humanity needs you."
"But—"
"I need you."
"Jean. No. Please don't say that."
"Why not? It's true."
"It makes things so much harder," she replies, her forehead resting against his. "Because if I lose you, then what?"
"You kill all of the titans like you said you would."
Her eyes close. He closes the distance between their lips. She tastes like vanilla, something Jean hasn't tasted since he was a kid. The first kiss is a chaste kiss, lasting for only seconds. The second isn't so sweet, but instead rough as they push against each other, desperate for human contact.
He breaks the kiss and instead pays attentions to her neck. His breath is hot, sending shivers down her spine. It's a trail of kisses until he reaches just above her collar bone. He bites down there and her breath catches in her throat. "J-Jean…"
Once he's satisfied with the mark, he pulls away and presses a gentle kiss to her lips. "Get some sleep," he says, "we have a big day ahead of us."
I'm sorry if there's any mistakes I'm seriously so tired that I only sort of skimmed through it. I seriously laughed so much while writing this because first What is it, Eren? and then when Jean was saying neither I accidentally typed neigh and yeah no I need sleep.
But hey guess what! I've decided that I'm going to do the college AU with these two. I have no idea when it'll be out. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a month. But it'll be a thing eventually.
