Disclaimer: sniff I don't own Lord of the rings tear Nor do I own sob Harry Potter, Frosty the snowman, the Lion King or even sniff snow white and the 7 dwarves. Or Kangaroo Dundee if it is real. I DON'T EVEN OWN A STINKIN' FUZZY PINK TELEPHONE.

Aragorn, son of Arathorn, heir of Isildur was very, very hungry. He meandered down the stairs and into the kitchen and rummaged through the freezer for some orc meat. While he was doing this, he hummed a merry little tune that sounded like a very off-key version of the Kangaroo Dundee theme song. (A/N: My friend told me about this movie. I'm still not sure if she was joking about it or not, though.)

An hour later, Aragorn was still rummaging/humming when Pippin came down the stairs, screaming.

"Boom Boom!" he shouted. "Drive-by shooting! I'm a hippogriff! No, a giraffe! Or maybe a mushroom! Happy Birthday! I'm Frosty the Snowman! Weeeeeeeee! Oooooooooh ... Spaaaaaaaaarkleeeeeeee..."He stroked the "sparkly" TV screen, which was right on top of the microwave, which was right on top of a passed out Samwise Gamgee.

Then, Pumbaa and Simba walked by. They were talking about how Timon had cheated on his boyfriend, and how he was a brat and they would never talk to him again, and what color dresses they were wearing to the prom. Then they went away.

Aragorn grunted in response. He glanced at his hands, absent-mindedly. He did a double take. They were purple!

"Yay!" shouted Pippin. "Aragorn's wearing purple gloves! Hey, wait a minute. Are those those pimpin' gloves Gimli bought at Boys R Us?" Then he shouted up the stairs to Gimli: "Gimliiiiiiiiiii! Aragorn stole your pimpin' purple gloves!"

"I'm not Gimli, I'm Dopey!"

At that moment, Sam woke up. He thought for a long time, then screamed, "Hey, you're not Dopey! Dopey's a mute! You fraud!" Then he passed out again.

Frodo cried from inside the microwave. "I WAAAAAANT MY SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITEEEEEEEEEEEEE BAAAAAAAAAACK!" He wailed. Ever since Legolas had "accidentally" put him inside the microwave, he had never been quite the same. In addition, he refused to come out of the microwave. So he had forced all of his friend to move all of his stuff into the microwave. Including his fuzzy pink telephone. That will come in later. You'll see. A duck had moved into his old room.

Gandalf farted. This was a very normal thing for an old fart to do.

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Aragorn screamed at the top of his lungs. "CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I HAVE FROSTBITE AND I NEED TO HAVE MY ARMS AMPUTATED?!"

Thus, Frodo attempted to call 911 on the fuzzy pink phone. Sadly, he accidentally called the insane asylum.

"Hello?" said a cranky voice on the other end of the line.

"Hi, it's me, Frodo!" said Frodo, enthusiastically. "Remember me?"

"No."

"Remember I came to get my finger amputated? Remember? Huh? Huh? Remember? Do ya?

"NO! What the heck do you want!?"

"Ummmmmm... my friend has frostbite. Can you come get him?"

"Oh alright,"

Thus, the insane asylum people came to pick Aragorn up. They put him in a purple straightjacket (because it brought out the color in his hands.) Then they decided to take Frodo for living in the microwave. And Sam for having passed out. And Pippin because he asked them if they knew whether he was a giraffe or a mushroom. And Gimli for thinking he was dopey. And Legolas for putting Frodo in the microwave. And Gandalf for farting. And Boromir for being dead. And Merry for being alive. The only one left was the duck. But he decided to come, too. He was special. He could talk.