One day while skinning white rabbits to make a new, bootlegged mink coat, Alice accidentally (read: purposefully) dropped a rabbit into a magic cauldron. Some kind of bubble bubbled and toiled and troubled the hell out of PETA and Greenpeace. Alice was subsequently imprisoned for cruelty to animals with a sentence of 50 years at the Oz precinct.

The warden at Oz was a kind of schizophrenic ex-marine codenamed Glenda. She believed herself to be a fairy or witch or sprite and tried to grant all of the prisoners three wishes. Alice wished for parole three times, but was denied when Glenda's other personality, Big Mike, took over. Now, Big Mike wasn't really all that big. Sharing a body with a 5'2 lady has its disadvantages. Anyway, long story short, Big Mike didn't like the cut of Alice's jib, so he locked her up in ISO for several months.

While in solitary confinement, Alice met three really good friends: a lion, a witch, and a wardrobe. The lion was kind of cowardly and was easily manipulated by the wardrobe who used him to usurp authority from the witch and release Alice from ISO on probation. Now, that arrangement lasted for the whole of ten seconds before Big Mike caught wind of the deal and set everyone straight. He boiled the lion, burned the witch, and fed the wardrobe to a wood chipper.

Big Mike subsequently melted.

The replacement warden—a man appropriately named James Franco (not to be confused with the actor who portrayed Oz in the film)—struck a bargain with Alice. She would be free to go if she agreed to venture out into the Wonderland Dump to collect shrooms n' things.

Alice promptly agreed. As collateral, she left behind a Pooh stick, which was retrieved by Roo and returned to the Fellowship of the Pooh. Unfortunately, without her collateral, warden Franco tripped the panic switch, causing Alice to grow.

The end.