AN: For If You Dare (343. My mistake) and the HP Potions Competition (Drink of Despair).

I.

Ariana.

Albus can't sleep without seeing her. He hears her in his empty room, screaming and crying over the chaos of the fight. He feels her small hands gripping his elbow, trying to make him stop.

But he hadn't stopped, and every time he relives that hellish night, he still doesn't stop until she falls.

II.

"I killed her, didn't I?' he whispers.

Gellert just gives him a tight smile, refusing to answer. He never confirms or denies what Albus fears. But it doesn't stop Albus from asking.

"It was me. I know it was."

Gellert raises a brow, smile spreading into a grin. Not for the first time, Albus wonders if the other man just enjoys tormenting him.

"Gellert..."

"Visiting hours are up, Albus," Gellert says, a hint of glee in his voice.

III.

"I'm sorry," Albus whimpers, clinging to his pillow, tears drenching the material. "Ari, forgive me."

But she's gone, long gone, and Albus will never hear the words he needs the most.

IV.

"Tell me!" He's desperate; a man on the ledge and ready to jump.

"Would it really ease your mind if you knew the truth?" Gellert asks, steepling his fingers beneath his chin. "Do you really think your sister will stop haunting you?"

Albus doesn't answer. He bows his head, body trembling.

"That's what I thought." And Albus can practically hear the smirk in Gellert's answer.

IV.

Albus doesn't know how to make it stop. By day, he wears a brave, strong face. He fulfills his duties as headmaster, acting as a guiding light to his students.

But by night, he's lost. The memory of that fateful night seeps into his chest, gripping his heart and suffocating him.

Ariana screams. Albus, Aberforth, and Gellert are too caught up in the fight to care.

Ariana falls.

Albus tosses and turns in his bed, fingers digging into the sheets. He is helpless.

VI.

"Do you ever get tired of asking the same question?" Gellert asks, though his usual snark has softened.

Albus can see it in his eyes. He's just as haunted by that night.

"Gellert..."

"Albus."

"You know, don't you?"

Gellert nods, but he says nothing.

"Tell me. You owe me that much."

"It was my curse, Albus," Gellert says, his voice cracking. "I killed your sister."

His body grows cold. For so long, he's blamed himself. He's lived with the guilt, so convinced that his sister had died at his hands.

But it had been Gellert, the man he had once loved (and still loves, if he's honest with himself).

Albus had thought the truth would bring him closure. He'd believed having all the answers would make the pain go away.

But it's worse now. The blame does not shift to Gellert. Albus had been the one to bring the troubled wizard into his family's lives. Albus had known what Gellert had been capable of, but he'd been too blinded by love to care.

"I'm sorry," Gellert whispers.

Without a word, Albus rises to his feet and walks away.

In the end, it is still his fault.