Hello Everyone!!! I hope you won't all kill me about not updating Hope For Love… that is actually in the works as I type! But I wanted to bring you a wonderful new story that one of my best friends and I are writing. Harlot O'Hara and I have been collaborating to bring you this lovely bit of craziness and we hope you enjoy! Please tell up what you think we love hearing from you all!

Medical Malfunctions

Chapter 1

Continuing Education was rarely considered enjoyable; early hours around busy campuses and cheap stale coffee from McDonalds was not a tempting offer. Most doctors would have proffered to have been sent the information and left to their own devices to study it but not Rudy Cooper.

Of course, by all means, he was not a certified medical doctor.

He was a Prosthetist and for that sole reason he was attending the lecture on congenital malformation.

In his work life he showed more sympathy than most undertakers did and was careful with his fitting and sculpting of the limbs in the way an artist would be with their paints. He was a fairly well known expert with cosmesis, going further into detail than most were willing, down to freckles and discoloration.

Honestly that wasn't because of any nature of compassion but because Rudy Cooper was an amputee devotee; he sketched amputation, he kept antique prosthetics in his home and even on occasion hired a familiar one-handed escort.

The lecture was if only for that reason, interesting and would have been all consuming had it not been for who had seated themselves beside him. The older man limped terribly when he entered the room and used his cane like it was an extension of his arm; the motions seemed fluid.

Rudy bit his lower lip as he scratched down a note. He wondered what the bad leg looked like and he underlined 'Deleterious' the way a lover would their chosen's name as he thought about it.

House was not amused, first he lost a bet with Wilson meaning he actually had to pay back 50 dollars of the many thousands he owed him, and then Chase managed to piss him off by trying to not be the whiny little bastard he truly was inside. Then to make his day perfectly complete Cuddy had managed to catch him exiting from a back door and demanded that he attend this idiotic continuing education seminar about crippled people… Yeesh he hated listening to this shit, it made his leg itch. What was worse he couldn't get out of it because she was there and glaring at him furiously every time he so much as twitched.

Speaking of twitching… He reached down into his bag and noticed that the guy in front of him, who somewhat resembled Robert "The Asskisser" Chase, even if he was more gaunt and didn't have that nice flouncy blond hair… alright back to your thoughts god you're rambling like Cameron… though you really don't have as good an ass as Cameron…' House suddenly shook his head and slapped himself violently across the face before gleefully noticing Cuddy's shocked expression and grabbed the supersized Rockstar Energy Drink he had been reaching for.

Opening it and popping a few Vicoden he took a swig and swiftly kicked the seat of the peeping man in front of him before settling down and smiling angelically at the lecturer. "Sorry, please continue to bore us all!" he called merrily to the front.

Rudy couldn't help himself; he turned around to face the doctor fully. He wasn't unattractive; he had a handsome face though he needed to shave and graying hair that needed to be combed. Rudy wouldn't have been able to leave the house to go to a seminar if he had dressed in such a casual way so combined with the rude outburst he had cause to suspect that the crippled man was a doctor.

"We're not all bored to tears by our profession, Dr." The younger man interjected, letting his dark eyes fall down to the cane. He would have been more intimate with a woman; they tended to take his swooning tone much better than men. "It is a difficult subject matter for many, I'm sure. And if its too personal…I can lend you notes but I would have to disagree that it is in any way dull."

House sized up the other man, oh he definitely wasn't anything like Chase, he could actually maybe be… interesting. House considered that possibility for a moment before deciding that such an outlandish hope could never be true. "Wow, it can actually speak… must not be the Columbian fire monkey I thought it was!" he mused aloud before rolling his eyes and tugging his psp out of his pocket. "Drone…" he muttered under his breath as he turned his game on.

"I'm a Prosthetist..." Rudy began with a cold tone, slipping his hand into his jacket pocket and pulling out a neatly printed business card. He slapped it down onto the faux wooden desk in front of the other man and stood up, picking up his half filled notepad and pen. "So you can get in contact when you need one." He justified before he moved to the other side of the room.

House paused, the game singing a forlorn tone of failure rather fitting as the other man sat a good 30 feet away. He could have sword he saw Lisa laughing behind her notes while the lecturer and most of the other doctors rudely stared. House gingerly picked up the card and slipped it into his pocket before glaring provocatively at Cuddly and collecting his stuff… "Screw you people, I'm going to I-hop." He muttered loud enough to echo as he took his cane up and sulked out of the room.

From across the room, Rudy glared at the disabled man as he left. He scrawled surly designs on his notepad while he smiled pleasantly to the rest of the room. 'Fuck that man' He thought to himself as his violent sketches turned back into writing, 'Fuck him and everything he can't stand for.' Despite how angry he was at being mocked; Rudy found pause when he realized how much he meant that.

He would have to call his favorite escort that night because he did want to fuck that doctor, he wanted to fuck him very hard.

AN: YAAAY so there you go… the very short chapter one! We've got chapter two about half written so watch for updates!