Title: Cursum Perficio
Author: Iantojjackh
Summary: The rift has always been a fickle creature, but what happens when it spits something out that begins to change one of the members of the team?
Characters/Pairing: The whole team with Jack/Ianto pairing
Spoilers: Mostly everything after Reset never happened, so AU after that
Warnings: Have tissues handy
Disclaimer: Not mine, just borrowing the characters for a while
Word Count: ~4.5K
Beta: timelordshines, who has been invaluable in helping me make this to cohesive and post worthy
Notes: This is for sandysan2013 who gave me the idea for this a year ago when I wrote the three sentence fic My Way. This is built around those three sentences and it has taken me since then to piece this together. Also, written for love-bingo and hc-bingo with the prompt reveal at the end.
Cursum Perficio
The rift had been crazy the last few days and everyone was running on adrenaline and coffee. No one had been home in two days and everyone was getting testy. Ianto had thrown a full mug of hot coffee at Owen, thankfully it missed and the only injury was the shattered mug.
"What the hell, tea-boy?" Owen yelled and jumped out of the way of the liquid that flew his way.
"You're a right prat, Owen!" Ianto snapped. "I'm not here to cater to your every need. I have work to do too. Are you going to ask me to wipe your arse next? Are you that incapable of taking care of yourself?"
"I just might. I think I need to use the loo, why don't you come with me?" Owen antagonised an extremely cranky Ianto, despite everyone knowing by now not to poke the beast when it reared its nasty head.
"Fuck off," Ianto said and then shoved Owen against the wall and pinned him against the cold stone. "Care to repeat that?" his arm pressed against the doctor's throat.
"Enough." Jack emerged from his office, clearly unhappy about the childish antics of his team. "Ianto, we are going for a walk and Owen, I sure hope you didn't lose the ability to wipe your own arse."
"A walk. That's what you get for being Jack's favourite. Just wait until the next pretty thing walks past and you are thrown away like the rubbish," Owen knew he was crossing a line, which he realised probably wasn't his best idea ever, especially since he was still pinned to the wall by the angry Welshman. A realisation which was confirmed when there was more pressure applied to his neck.
"Shut it, Owen," Jack stepped in and pulled Ianto off Owen, even though he wanted to throttle the medic himself after his insensitive remark. "That's enough. You both are going too far," the boss chided his employees.
The rest of the team was used to seeing the evidence of the physical side of Ianto's relationship with the Captain and there was no doubt that is what everyone thought was the extent of their relationship despite the fact it had been going on for almost six years now. None of them were there to see when both men let their guards down around each other. How they were there for each other when the nightmares got too much and they would wake up screaming and crying or how they bickered over who got control of the remote when they spent a quiet night home or how Jack would pull Ianto to dance when his favourite song came on, no matter what they were doing. Then there was the sappy love letters and the naughty steamy ones they exchanged when Torchwood got too busy to spend time alone.
Ianto was blind with rage at Owen for being Owen and irritating his last exposed and already raw nerve and at Jack for stepping in the way he had. Why did Owen have to play the favourite card? He shook Jack's hand off his arm and hastily exited the hub.
"Owen, why did you have to start with Ianto like that?" Gwen asked. She did not want to take sides in the testosterone fuelled fight. Both men were out of line, but Owen was more at fault. The two always pushed each other's buttons but because of the stress and lack of sleep the annoyance was amplified ten-fold and Ianto bit back.
"Come on, he was asking for it. How many times did I ask for that coffee?" Owen grumbled, not seeing the error of his ways.
"Just forget it." Jack snapped and turned on his heel and left. As he left, Jack heard Tosh admonishing Owen that everyone was beyond exhausted and that he should not have expected Ianto to drop what he was doing just because Owen wanted coffee.
As Jack exited the visitor's centre a blinding light made him squeeze his eyes shut. He figured it was something reflecting off the water in the bay- a mistake that would haunt Jack for the rest of his life. Once his vision was clear, Jack saw Ianto sitting on a nearby bench, looking like he had fallen asleep. "Forget the walk, I'm taking you home." Jack gently shook the tired man.
"Pum munud," Ianto murmured, enjoying the warm embrace-like sensation that spread through his body.
"No. I'm not giving you five minutes," Jack pulled a drowsy Ianto to his feet. "In ten minutes you can be in our bed."
Ianto sighed, too tired to argue. "You always just want to get me into bed."
"You got me, gorgeous. This time it is just for sleep." Jack slipped his arm around Ianto's waist. He had seen the young man devolve into a child several times when he got to this point of tiredness. "Tosh, Ianto and I are going home. Call me only if the world is ending." He spoke as tapped his com. The fact that he and Ianto had been living together was a secret that was not very well kept but this was the first time either man admitted their living arrangements.
Ianto was smiling the whole way to his car, the warm feeling from the light that enveloped him earlier spreading through his whole body. He did not remember getting into the car or the drive back to their flat.
As soon as the door to their home closed behind them, Ianto pressed Jack up against the wall, his hand sliding into the older man's trousers. "I need you so bad," he removed his hand and sunk to his knees, mouthing Jack's semi hard cock through several layers of fabric. "Do you want me?" Ianto looked up with pleading eyes as a sudden surge of energy fuelled his insatiable hunger for his partner in every way.
"Do you even need to ask?" Jack moaned and threw his head back, not caring where the sudden burst of energy came from.
Ianto was intent on making Jack come through his trousers and he was about to reach that goal when everything stopped and Ianto started to snore, his face buried in Jack's crotch.
"Ianto?" Jack groaned as he looked down at the snoring man. "Seriously?" he tried to nudge Ianto awake and was met his louder snores.
With a heavy sigh Jack lifted Ianto to his feet and when he realised Ianto was not going to be of any help he put Ianto over his shoulder and dumped him unceremoniously onto the bed. The Welshman did not even stir.
"Be right back. Gotta finish what you started," he placed a gentle kiss on Ianto's forehead.
Jack returned a few minutes later, tension released and wearing only a t-shirt and began undressing his partner. "You know you can help at any time." He spoke to the practically comatose man.
Ianto did not even move when the covers were drawn around him or when Jack kissed him goodnight. "You must really be tired if the Sleeping Beauty trick didn't work."
Despite his assertions that he didn't need sleep, Jack was as worn out as the rest of the team and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was woken up several hours later when Ianto began to whimper and squirm in his sleep.
"Ianto! Ianto."Jack tried to wake him up, but Ianto continued to whimper.
After several moments, Ianto let out a blood curdling scream and arched his back to the point of almost bending in half backwards.
Jack did everything he could do so Ianto would not hurt himself and after several long moments Ianto stilled, his eyes clouded with tears and panic.
Ianto blinked several times and his eyes darted around the room, confused as to how he got home and into bed. Then he saw Jack's very worried face looking down at him.
"My back...feels like someone is stabbing it," he took several deep breaths to get through the pain.
"Let me see." Jack lifted up the back of Ianto's shirt and gasped at what he saw. "What the hell?" The immortal muttered as he ran his fingers over the purple iridescent wound that was the size of his fist. Jack's fingers burned as a fowl smelling neon yellow liquid oozed from the skin. This definitely was not something terrestrial.
Jack's fingers prodding at the wound felt like burning lava being poured onto Ianto's skin and the pain was so great that Ianto could not even scream, he just passed out, a single tear rolling down his cheek.
Without even thinking Jack quickly dressed and wrapped the unconscious man in blanket. His heart was beating so fast that it was the only sound Jack could hear.
Owen was exiting the visitor's centre when he saw Jack running toward him, carrying Ianto over his shoulder. "What the hell?"
"There is this thing on his back. It's oozing and smells worse than Weevil-breath. And the pain, he was in so much pain he passed out. You've got to help Ianto. I know you are mad at him, but make him better, please." Jack talked a mile a minute. He was not one to panic, but something inside told him that this was very bad. Jack knew Ianto had a high tolerance for pain and for him to pass out like that the level of pain had to be off the charts.
"You two weren't messing around with alien lube again, were you?" Owen would never forget the oozing brimstone scented rash both men developed last time they had run out of lube and used something they thought was safe.
"No! We haven't had time for that," Jack's scowled and gently placed Ianto on the exam table. "He's breathing. I made sure of it. I've never seen anything like before."
"What happened then?" Owen began his examination on the unconscious Ianto. Jack had been right when he said the wound smelled bad and Owen tried not to gag at the noxious odour. He took several vials of blood as well as a swab of the foul-smelling pus.
"I don't know. Ianto just woke up in agony and that's when I saw the thing on his back," Jack paused and took several deep breaths knowing he needed to be calm when Ianto regained consciousness.
"What happen after you left earlier?" These were questions normally reserved for the patient and since Ianto could not talk for himself, Jack would have to do.
"We went home and then to bed."
"Can you be more specific? Anything strange or out of the ordinary happen?"
Jack shook his head, "When I left here I found Ianto half-asleep on a bench and took him home. Nothing strange...well unless you count Ianto falling asleep while trying to suck me off through my clothes."
"That I didn't need to know. How does one fall asleep doing that? Wait, don't answer that. I really don't want to know."
"Did the others leave?" Jack pulled over a stool and sat down, taking Ianto's hand into his. He absentmindedly stroked Ianto's hair and did not take his eyes off him, looking for any sign he was starting to wake up.
"You really love him don't you?" Owen had taken notice how panicked Jack had been since he arrived and now he was cemented at Ianto's side. He had thought the emotional side of the relationship was only one sided while it was obvious the physical side went both ways.
Jack scowled at the question. "I'm not dignifying that with an answer."
That was all the answer Owen needed. There was not much more of an exam he could do until Ianto was awake any so he wisely decided to give the men some time alone while he ran the tests on the samples taken from Ianto. He crinkled his nose as he put the swab under the microscope. It really was the most foul thing Owen had smelled in a long time. He then disappeared to another section of the hub in order to call Gwen and Tosh and let them know what was going on with Ianto. He asked Jack to let him know the minute Ianto regained consciousness.
Two weeks later…
"Stop being selfish, Jack," Ianto bit his lip to keep the tears from falling. He was unable to fathom why his lover could not abide by his request. There had been so many times Ianto had done as Jack wished without asking questions.
"I'm not going to help you kill yourself, Ianto. It's not something I can ever do," Jack had his own unshed tears threatening to fall. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat to hide their shaking.
"I thought you loved me...it hurts so much and I don't know how much longer I can take this." The dam burst and Ianto's tears began to fall, giving Jack tacit permission to let his fall too as he gathered his lover into his arms. A faint trace of golden light passed between them as their lips met and Ianto's pain slowly began to ebb.
"Jack! Stop." Ianto pushed Jack away almost knocking the other man off his feet. "Don't do this. This is not what I want. This is one thing you can't fix. You are only prolonging the inevitable."
"But..." For once Jack was at a loss for words.
"But nothing." Ianto turned his head, not wanting look at the crestfallen expression he knew was written all over Jack's face. "Just get out of here. I don't want to see you anymore."
"Ianto?" Jack did not want to believe what he was hearing. No, he refused to believe it.
"I said go." Ianto refused to look at Jack.
"How can you just give up? Owen's working on a cure. You are too stubborn to quit like this." Jack touched Ianto's cheek with the back of his hand.
"It's not giving up. I have, what? Two weeks at most. The chances of Owen finding a cure by then are about as good as...they're not good, okay? I've been through this before, Jack and I will not let you go through it." Ianto closed his eyes as the effects of the morphine and Jack's kiss started to subside.
Jack's face crumbled into a myriad of emotions, but the most prominent was sadness. He could not fathom why Ianto was giving up.
"Owen told us what is going to happen. The physical changes I will go through and then the mental ones as the alien DNA replaces my own. Then I'll start to turn on you when everything that makes me into me is gone. I know you and you will always hold out hope that some part of me will still be there in the end, but it won't be. I believed for so long that Lisa was still in there after Canary Wharf and she wasn't. I extended her suffering because I was not ready to let her go. I don't want to suffer like she did. I don't want you to go through what I went through with Lisa. You'll never forgive yourself." Ianto turned his body so he did not have to look at Jack, knowing the look on the older man's face would break him more than he already was breaking.
Jack felt as if everything was closing in around him. "If that's how you feel, then I'll go," he said with as little emotion possible. "I'll be in my office if you need me." Jack hated to admit that deep down he knew Ianto was right. Of course the man who knows everything would be right about this.
One week later….
Dear Rhiannon,
I asked Jack to give you this letter after I'm gone. I regret that we were not closer, but things were the way they were. There was so much I wanted to tell you, but I knew I didn't have the time so it's best that I left them unsaid. It was not enough time to make peace in our strained relationship.
I don't want you to be upset that I did not tell you I knew I was dying. What is happening to me came on suddenly and it did not leave me enough time to put everything in order. I needed to die on my own terms before everything that made me what I am was gone.
These last few days have been amazing. I know that is weird because I'm dying, but it's the truth. Those closest to me have made sure of that and I will be eternally grateful to them.
You might be wondering why someone you only met once is delivering you this letter, but Jack is no stranger. He's my husband and he's asleep with his head in my lap as I write this. That's what we were doing in the pub the other day when you and Johnny saw us. We had just finished with the ceremony and were having a light meal and small celebration. I didn't know how to tell you what Jack is to me. I knew there would be questions upon more questions and I did not know how to deal with those questions. I guess you could call me a coward for wanting to make things easy my last days.
We were raised to think that only a man and a woman should lay with one another. I found the love of my life and it does not matter to me that it was another man. Don't hold that against Jack. Everything he's done since I got sick, and before that for as long as I have known him, has been because he loves me.
I beg you to take care of Jack for me. I know once I'm gone things are going to be difficult for him. I would not have been able to get through these days as well as I have without him. He has been my rock and he is going to need someone to be his.
Love always even when we were apart,
Your brother Ianto
Ianto put the pad of paper and pen on the bedside table and looked down to watch Jack sleep. "Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow we say goodbye," Ianto whispered as he gently caressed his husband's cheek.
The next day…
The team stood outside on the Plass watching with tears in their eyes as Jack helped Ianto walk towards the SUV. Rhys wrapped his arms around Gwen and leant his chin on her head. After a moment's hesitation Owen followed suit, hugging Tosh tight. They watched as the SUV started up and drove away, staring after the vehicle long after it had disappeared from sight. As much as they wanted to be there for the end to lend their strength and support, they knew the couple wanted to spend Ianto's final hours alone. Saying the goodbye they could only do in private.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jack asked, watching as Ianto stared out the window. It pained the immortal's soul to do this. He did not want to be the one to have to give Ianto the fatal dose of drugs, but he knew that Ianto needed to go out on his terms before the alien virus destroyed his humanity.
"There is no other way," there was an inner peace mixed in with the terror. "Thank you for making these last days much so more than I could ever have imagined."
"I'd do anything for you, my heart." Jack reached his free hand to take Ianto's arm that was resting on the console. Jack's heart was slowly shattering into a million pieces and he turned his head away briefly to hide the unshed tears that desperately wanted to fall.
Ianto eyes flared with anger and pain, "You promised."
Jack's set his jaw in stubbornness. "I did, but this is hard for me too. I'm not ready to say goodbye to you. We haven't had enough time." He did not bother to hide the few tears that escaped.
"You've said goodbye to others before me and there will be more after me." Ianto was pragmatic in the face of death. As he saw it there was nothing special about him and why would his death be any different than the countless ones Jack had dealt with before.
Jack sighed heavily and took in a deep breath. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, but he couldn't, not today. "For someone so smart you can be pretty dense at times." He shook his head with a small smile, half joking and half serious with his comment.
"Just thinking logically." Ianto turned his head and started out the window and watched as the scenes blurred by, not ready to fully accept this was his last hours alive.
"You don't get it do you?"
"Get what?"
"I love you Ianto. You are my One. There can never be anyone after you."
Ianto couldn't answer past the lump in his throat. He knew if he did, he would start to cry and never stop. It was so unfair that his life was being cut so short when half of his heart resided in the immortal's chest. All he wanted was to be able to be there for Jack and he was having to leave him alone after only a few short days of marriage.
Ianto put his hand on Jack's knee, both giving and taking comfort from the contact as the rest of the short journey passed in companionable silence.
When they reached their destination, the men got out of the car and Ianto watched as Jack unloaded their picnic supplies from the boot. He finally found his voice and said quietly, "I just want you to be happy, Jack. You shouldn't waste time mourning me."
"Can we not talk about this?" Jack wrapped his arms tightly around his dying husband. "I just want enjoy what little time we have left," Jack whispered, his lips lightly brushing against Ianto's ear. "I want some happy memories to remember this day." There could never be enough good memories to counterbalance the excruciating ones that were about to unfold, but he needed something to hold onto.
Ianto returned the embrace realising that Jack was right and they just should enjoy their last few hours. "Thank you," he choked on his own words, betraying his promise not to cry. Ianto wrapped his arms around Jack, surrendering to the warm loving embrace and burying his face into Jack's neck.
"No need to thank me." The tears falling onto him gave Jack pause, suddenly feeling as if he could not abide by Ianto's wishes to end his life before his mind was gone. "I just want you to be happy."
"You've done that in spades, husband." Ianto loved the way the last word rolled off his tongue. It bought a smile to his tear stained face. "The eight years I've known you and especially the last six we've been together, have been incredible."
Three hours later...
Jack let out a feral wail of grief as Ianto took his last breath. He did not feel the last breath expelled, but Jack knew their unbreakable bond could no longer be felt. The unwavering and constant connection had been severed by the one thing that could break it: death. There was no more pain or suffering just a cold hollow emptiness. "You are at peace now. Be free. Be happy. I love you, Ianto Jones. Always and forever." Jack choked up on his words.
It was moments like this that reminded Jack why falling in love was never a good idea. As much as Jack had fought letting Ianto into his heart, the irresistible man managed to take such a tight hold, he did not know when or how Ianto managed it. One day it was just there and from then on it was as easy as breathing. It was a wonderful eight years to have the amazing man in his life.
Of all his lovers and spouses, Ianto was the first and only to die in his arms and by his own hand. The pain was unbearable as his chest felt like someone was squeezing hard and refused to let go. Jack looked down at his husband whose lifeless body laid half across his. Ianto died with a smile on his face, their fingers intertwined. He died happy and on his own terms.
"I think this might be my shortest marriage ever, but it was also the best. Thank you for letting me love you. I'm sorry for breaking my promise." Jack buried his face into the top of Ianto's hair, the sweet scent of vanilla and cotton unravelled what was left of Jack's composure. His promise not to cry was shattered with Ianto's last heartbeat, his last breath. Jack's heart was irreparably shattered and nothing in the cold and empty universe could ever mend that broken heart.
Jack had no idea how long he sat there, cradling his husband, crying into his hair. Never before in his long life had Jack felt this level of loss. It was like a physical weight crushing him, sucking the air out of him and each passing second it became harder to breathe than the one before. The grieving man thought if that Time Lords could will themselves not to regenerate then, just maybe, if he tried hard enough he would not revive.
Jack reached for his mobile and hit the button to call Owen. "He's gone." He managed to eek out through the sobs.
"I'm sorry, Jack." Owen replied. He wanted to say that Jack did the right thing, but those were the wrong words the grieving widower needed to hear.
"Can you do one thing for me?" Jack said, finally regaining control of his emotions. His mind was made up and Jack knew there was only one thing to do. There was only one way to make everything better.
"Sure. Anything."
"Make sure you put us in the vaults together...forever." Jack had lived long enough, lost enough and he did not want to feel pain anymore. One death is a death too many and not all deaths are the same. Once in a lifetime a death comes along that so completely tears you up inside that the pain would never heal and the only release is death itself.
Jack could only hope that his strong desire to be free from the curse of immortality would finally be granted.
"I'm coming, my prince. Please wait for me." He put his Webley to his temple and pulled the trigger.
Sometimes prayers are answered.
Jack did not see the wiry man in the bow tie drain the vortex from his body. "You are at peace now. Be free. Be happy, Captain." Jack's own words were repeated back to him, "Take care of each other wherever you are." the man added as he straightened his bow tie and headed back to his blue police box.
There are some bonds that not even death can break. When one's corporeal journey ends another starts, and that is when for souls destined to be bonded together forever, the journey really begins.
The End and Beginning!
End A/N: This filled the life-threatening illness (wild card) prompt at hc-bingo and the Till death do us part prompt at love-bingo. In case you were wondering Cursum Perficio, translates to my journey is over.
