Title: Stars
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Pairing: TezuFuji
Words: 1160
Disclaimer: Don't own anything.
Notes/Warnings: Takes place a bit in the future, when they're in college. I've had this idea for a really long time now, months and months, pretty much ever since buying the TATU cd. After listening to song 8, Stars, a bunch (I already loved the Russian version, so I loved the English version a lot too), I was suddenly hit with the inspiration for a TezuFuji fic kind of based on it. THIS IS NOT A SONG FIC. However, the plot kind of/almost follows the lyrics of the song, and the song really sets the mood for the fic (I listened to it on repeat the entire time I wrote it). Please leave a review. If you want to find the lyrics and a link to download the song, go look in my livejournal, a link to which is in my user info here (it's my homepage link).
The seat of the car lowers beneath my weight as I sit down on the passenger side, for all that I feel like nothingness, as weightless as the air, just waiting to be knocked down like a sapling in a hurricane. I close the door behind me, too numb to even slam it, and don't look anywhere beyond my hands in my lap. I don't want to see the two people standing in the doorway, watching with disgust clear on their faces even from this distance.
I hear the door open on the driver's side of the small car and you get in, grumbling angrily under your breath. You aren't weak enough to slam the door, and do so without even meaning to. I flinch slightly, then flinch again when I hear the front door of my house slam in reply, my parents undoubtedly having disappeared inside.
You look over at my hunched and dejected form from your seat; I can sense your gaze even if I won't look you in the eyes.
"Sorry," you mumble, though whether you're apologizing for slamming the door or something else I'm not sure, and reach over to clasp my hand in yours, squeezing it reassuringly.
It's all too much. I stare down at our hands, mesmerized, and hardly even notice as my body begins to tremble. "Syuusuke?" I hear you ask, my name rolling out from that ever sturdy voice and it just makes me shake even more, my shoulders hunching closer together as my eyes begin to fill with water, and I squeeze them tightly closed in order to try to hold it back.
Is this crying? I haven't done that since I was five years old and decided to be strong for Yuuta. It is an altogether alien experience, and I don't know what to do.
How did it come to this? I wonder, even as my sobs grow while we sit there in the dark with only the stars lighting the world around us.
I can still remember the day you told me you loved me.
Can you remember what I said?
"It'll never work, Tezuka."
"Why not?"
"Nothing like this ever works for me. I think I may be relationship cursed," I said, trying to joke my way out of the situation and ignoring the ever growing lump in my throat, making it hard to get those words out.
"Then I'll be the exception," was all you said in reply though, with utmost certainty, as if there was no doubt or possibility of failure. I've always wondered how you could have such confidence sometimes, but then I also wonder how you became the one person to know that I don't always feel confident. Surely Echizen or Momo would never believe such a thing, even if it were you who told them.
And so we became lovers. How could I possibly refuse an answer like that, especially when I knew deep down inside I really didn't want to at all?
After that, we would go on discrete dates, hang out at each other's houses but never act as a real couple at those times unless we were sure the rest of the house was empty or we were behind closed and locked doors, and exchange phone calls. It was a good time, and before we knew it, had progressed into a good year.
I was a fool to finally begin thinking it might all be okay after all. Everything always goes crashing down when it comes to me. Everything.
We had both been extra busy the past week, with college finals and studying, and had hardly seen each other at all the entire time, much less seen each other alone. Our need made us careless, and when we could finally have time together, we were in such a hurry that we left our common sense behind.
We forgot to lock the door.
You had just gotten me onto my back on the bed in my room at home, with you straddling me and your hands on the bed to support you as you looked down into my face. I stared back up at yours, silent and waiting, and before long you bent down to capture my lips in a kiss.
Only seconds later, we clearly heard the door open and my mother begin to say, "Syuusuke, will you" before she took in the scene before her and froze.
You pulled away so quickly that it almost hurt my feelings, except that I was far too preoccupied with the current situation to really care. Besides, if you hadn't pulled away that fast I would have somehow done it myself.
The next hour passed in a daze, except that I remember every minute clearly. The screaming, my mother calling to my father to come up from where he was resting on the couch downstairs, the yelling and attempts to explain, and the crying. My mother cried so much, though my father just glared and continued yelling. I didn't cry at all through the entire thing, and you certainly didn't. But you didn't abandon me either, as I had been almost worried you would if something like this ever happened.
I had been foolish to think that way, and I know that now as you hold my hand in the dark and watch me cry, the sound of my sobs ever increasing as the weight of everything finally comes crashing down upon my tired soul.
They had at least given me enough time to pack a quick suitcase full of my things before throwing us out, and I know I can send Yuuta to get the rest for me later. Assuming my parents don't toss it all out into the garbage first. I've been lowered to that status in their eyes; certainly my possessions have been as well.
I almost jump as I suddenly feel your strong arms surround my body and pull me towards you, having still not looked up and not having noticed your hand leave mine. You rest the side of my head against your warm chest, and whisper, "I love you, that hasn't changed."
My eyes widen as more tears fill them, and I merely turn my head to bury it in your chest and sob even harder in response, my arms rising to wrap tightly around you as well.
Where will we go now? You still live at home, and I don't know what your parents will think of all this. I don't want to put you through what I just went through, what I am still going through, but I know I'm too selfish to let you go and try to shoulder this all on my own.
But as you bury your face in my hair and your arms tighten around me as well, I begin to think that maybe, just maybe, we can possibly get through this, eventually.
Maybe I haven't lost everything after all.
