I don't know where this came from. The phrase "You can't forgive me and I can't forget you has been on my mind for a long, long time and this is me doing something about it.
I had a whole different idea for this but this is what I came up with. I thought about breaking them up, but my heart need this at the moment. First, the authors break them up. Then, Serena kisses Ash and my world just shattered. Oh well.
I'll update my other fics this week.
I've written this on my cel, so forgive me if there's any mistakes.
I don't own Arrow. *sighs*
Taking a deep breath, she decides that, after pacing in front of the building for almost an hour, it's time for her to come in.
Because if there's one thing that her father taught her is that you can't hide from your ghosts.
Rubbing her hands on her coat, she licks her lips and enter.
X
He doesn't believe in fairy tales.
He'd seen dead people come back to life, seen ghosts and evil in its true form.
So, one could only assume that he'd believe in fairy tales.
Except that he doesn't.
When people say that time stops when you see the person that you love, he scoffs at them.
He knows that it's cliched, but when she timidly enters the room, it's like everything around him vanishes and she's the only thing that he can see.
When Thea spots her, she screams and hugs her really tight.
He can see that she's nervous the moment her eyes met his.
It's the same dark blue that he remembers. Her hair is loose, falling just down her shoulders. She's wearing a white coat and high heels and it the familiarity of it all makes his heart ache.
She's the same that he remembers and it kills him a little bit to know that in spite of that, everything is different.
He turns around to grab another glass of scotch.
When he looks again, she's gone.
X
"Still a wine addict, I see."
It's the first time tonight that she gives someone her genuine smile.
Yes, she left and she was able to stay away for five years. But it wasn't easy, as some people made her believe.
When she looks at him, his eyes are warm and his smile is small but so powerful that makes her eyes fill with tears.
"Hey Digg"
He pulls her into his arms and she can almost feel like she's home again.
(Almost, because she knows where her home is. Her home has blue eyes and scars inside and out.
But she's happy all the same.)
"I've missed you, Felicity."
She lets two tears fall because her friend is not someone who express his emotions easily. He's guarded and secretive about this kind of thing.
And that's why is more powerful and go straight to her heart.
"I'm sorry, John."
He squeezes her one last time before letting go.
"You don't have to apologize, Felicity. At all. You were doing what it was right for you."
"Then why does it feel so wrong?"
His smile is knowing now, and she has to look away.
"He misses you too, you know."
She closes her eyes as he continues. "He never say it. But I can see the way his eyes lingers on your chair at the lair. How every time he hears someone in heels approaching his heart skips a beat, only to remember that it's not you."
"Stop." She sips her wine and she's not surprised when a bitter taste fills her mouth. "I'm only here for Thea's weeding. I'll be leaving soon after and..."
That's right. They've found a way to clear Roy's name and now he's back and on his path to marry the love of his life.
"I know that." He takes her hand and motions for her to follow him. "Just thought you should know."
She nods because he never does anything without a purpose and because it's pointless to try and argue with him.
"I know someone else who will be really happy to see you."
When she spots the kind smile on Lyla's face and the way little Sara is waving her arms, happy to see her, she decides that she's not even going to try.
X
He spots her outside, drinking her wine.
He saw her with Digg and everyone else and a part of him felt jealous that she's able to be so happy seeing them and not him.
(Only for the other part to remind him that it was, is, all his fault.)
Without much thinking, he opens the door and goes outside.
"I was wondering when we'd talk."
Walking towards her, he stops behind her and waits for her to turn around.
There's a little part of him that's is happy to see that he still messes with her, when he notices that she's taking a deep breath before turning.
And when she finally does, he knows that his heart skipped a beat.
She smiles a little at him and in return, he grins at her.
"It's been a while."
She nods. "How have you been, Oliver?"
He puts one hand inside his pocket and the other is just holding his glass. "I've been living, I think. And you?"
"The same, I guess."
He nods and they just stare at one another.
"Anything new?" She asks and finds herself afraid of what he might answer.
They're not together but he still is the love of her life. She wants him to be happy even if she decided that she doesn't want to be with him.
"Nothing much. Being the mayor during the day and the vigilante during the night consumes most of my time."
She laughs at his attempt of joke, silently pleased that apparently he doesn't have time for anyone.
"And you?"
She shrugs. "Just traveling around, trying to find something that I'm not quite sure what it is, yet."
He nods. "So, you're not seeing anyone."
She needs to hold back the laugher at the way he flinches. She assumes that he didn't want to ask her that but apparently, she rubbed off some of her no brain to mouth filter on him.
"No, I'm not." Deciding to go for it, she asks, "and you?"
He shakes his head no and she finds it easier to breath again.
"I though that the great Oliver Queen would be married by now."
He sips his drink and answers, "You are the only woman that I want to be with."
"Oliver..."
The air is tense again and she can't look anywhere else but him.
"I know, alright? I know." He licks his lips. "But that's the truth. You can't forgive me and I can't forget you."
That's true. She loves him with everything in her and she knows that he loves her too.
But she can't look at him without remembering everything that happened between them.
"It's a never ending cycle."
He finishes his drink and looks at her. "How long are you staying?"
"I'll be leaving just after the weeding."
She sees the flash of hurt passing between his eyes. When she blinks, it's gone.
"Tomorrow then." She nods, and he looks away "Do you think you can go to the lair? Curtis is doing a good job but I don't trust anyone like I trust you and-"
His muscles tenses when he sees her raising her hand to touch him. After a moment, she thinks against it and drops it.
He's not sure if he's happy or sad about it.
"Sure, I'll drop by."
He nods and, seeing that it won't go any further than this, he motions for her to enter the room.
She follows him because she can't think of anything else better to do.
X
When she enters her hotel room that night, she thinks about everything that happened during the rehearsal dinner.
She was happy, in a way that she hasn't been in a long, long time. John kept her near him and Thea and Roy were always close too, even if it was their party.
And she could feel Oliver's eyes on her all the time.
She has always been able to feel him when he entered any room and tonight wasn't different.
It's like his eyes were caressing her skin and she spent the night with butterflies on her stomach.
Before coming here, she thought it'd hurt to see him again.
She hasn't forgiven him, but she felt like she was getting there.
X
The weeding happened and she can't remember seeing Thea so beautiful before.
Her eyes are sparkling and she radiates happiness.
Roy's smile is big, so big, that she's afraid that it'll hurt his cheeks
As Oliver's kisses her cheek before handing her over to Roy, he looks at her and she can almost hear the moment when everything clicks together.
She smiles a little at him before he turns to stand at his place on the altar.
When she looks at Digg, she sees a knowing grin on his lips. She dips her head, wondering when it all changed.
X
She puts her hand on her friend's grave.
It's been five years but it still hurts to remember Laurel. She was her friend and female companion during a long time and then that monster took her away from them.
She blinks away tears and feels the hairs on her back go up when she feels someone watching her.
"I thought you had left, already."
She shakes her head, no.
"I wanted to come by first. I miss her everyday, you know."
"We all do."
She watched as he leaves a bouquet of flowers on her grave.
They stay in silence for a long time, with the wind being the only sound they heard.
They leave soon after and he invites her for a cup of coffee.
After buying it, they walk to the park and watches the kids playing.
"I'm sorry, Felicity."
She jumps when she hears his voice.
Looking at him curiously, he continues. "I know I've said it before, but when you left, I promised myself that I would say it again if I ever saw you. I love you, and I'm sorry."
She feels the gravity of his words.
"I'm sorry too, Oliver." She doesn't need to look at him to know that she has his full attention. "I left and didn't even try to patch things up between us. I was able to forgive you for doing much worse, but this..."
"Felicity..."
She raises her hand. "I left thinking that I needed space to put things into perspective. I didn't know what I was looking for, but I left hoping to find what it was."
She takes a deep breath and looks at him.
"I left to find happiness, to find closure, only to return five years later to discover that what I've been looking has been in front of my face all along."
His eyes widen at her implication and she can feel the hope emanating from him.
"What are you saying, Felicity?"
"I'm saying that I won't be able to forgive you if I'm that far away from you."
He touches her shoulder and a spark of electricity runs through them.
"I'm not there, yet. But if there's one thing that I know is that my home is with you, and I want to-"
He cuts her mid sentence when he pulls her in for a kiss.
There's no fireworks, no birds singing and no romantic music around. Time hasn't stop when she feels his arms circling her waist, pulling her closer.
Instead, there's rapid beating hearts and it's like there's something ending and beginning at the same time. It's not magical, it's just reality and she thinks that she prefers it all the same.
He rests his forehead on hers and she feels her heart clenches at the look on his face.
There's so much love that makes her want to cry.
"We'll need to takes things slowly. Like I said, I'm not there yet and it won't be all sunshine and rainbows. But my happiness is with you and I'd be a fool to run away from that."
"Whatever you want to do, I'm on board. We will find our way back, I promise you."
She feels the sincerity on his words and she has no other choice but to believe him.
X
As he looks at her typing something on her tablet, he changes his opinion.
Maybe fairy tales do exist. They may not involve princess and dragons and medieval times.
"Come back to bed, Oliver."
But they do involve a lot of love and as he watches the way she tilts her head, waiting for him to return, he feels that it's enough for him to believe.
Reviews are appreciated.
