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A Fanfic by zalrus9

Based of the timely classic of Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

In the depths of the vacumus void of space, there was a universe. And in that universe, a collection of millions and billions of galaxies was one galaxy, the Milky Way. And in that swirl of trillions of stars was one, a yellow one that the sentients in that system called the sun was beating down on a certain classroom in a certain country on a certain third planet from that ball of ever-blazing gas. That made Sakaki feel small, a feeling that she had rarely felt as she sat at her desk as her teacher, who was now writing incoherent things on the blackboard, at least the heat was more interesting than that, or was her brain frying up? The heat was so sapping to her attention that all else seemed a blurring void and then…

"Oh my gosh, I'm going to be so late!"

The abrupt blast of auditory force woke Sakaki up from her deep reverie (or was it sleep? She didn't know.) She saw that the classroom was empty, but for one little girl that Sakaki recognized without conscious thought was Chiyo-Chan, the girl prodigy, who had probably had uttered the thing that woke Sakaki up in the first place. But this was not the Chiyo Sakai knew, she was a little bit shorter, looking almost like a chibi, and instead of having pigtails on her head there were two brown rabbit-ears.

"She'll kill me if I'm late again, oh dear oh dear." the (rabbit?) Chiyo then noticed Sakaki and as if she had not known her, she gave a small shriek of fright and dashed out of the room. This might not be very surprising, because Sakaki was rather scary looking. At 174 cm, she towered over most women, and men for that matter (In Japan, that is.) and gave of a radiance of coolness, but Chiyo knew Sakaki better: Sakaki was as cute on the inside as herself: the whole thing seemed rather weird but Sakaki didn't worry about such matters and was already in hot pursuit of the rabbit-Chiyo, which was no easy task because she was very uncharacteristically fast. Eventually, at the end of the hall there was a small door that Sakaki didn't even remember being there before, and went in. Sakai followed not long after, but it was a tight fit: she had to crouch on her hands and knees to get through. It was also a tight fit inside the hall, and about 7 meters foreword of the door, the ground seemed to disappear.

She was falling, no, floating down through a series of randomness that made the Beatles's "Revolution 9" seem like a church hymn. Things became shifting out of phase and Sakaki wondered that she might be warping to another dimension. I wonder if cats would like me there she wondered to herself, as she had a sort of unfulfilled fetish of such mammals. But as that thought drifted through the depths of Miss Sakaki's mind, it was cut short as she fell violently into an overstuffed, bizarre chair at the end of a much larger hall. The hall eventually tapered out into a circular room with a sole door that someone, with rabbit ears, was going through. Know who that might be, she quickly got out of the bizarre chair-thing and raced to the door, which was less than a meter high and had a handle resembling her rather perverted classical lit teacher. As she opened it, a muffled voice said from the door handle said "That won't work, you know, I'm locked, you see." apparently the door with the face of Mr.Kimura could talk, and in his voice, too, as if he couldn't keep his pervert-power in his own body.

"Then… How do I get in?" Sakaki asked.

"Well, you could try that bottle on the table." the door said.

"What…?

"Behind you!"

Sakaki looked behind her, and then a table inexplicitly appeared out of nowhere, with an unmarked bottle with red liquid in it that also had a paper on it. That paper said "DRINK ME" in nice, friendly, black letters, which made Sakaki quite apprehensive about drinking it. Besides, wasn't the door locked?

"Um, didn't you say you were locked?"

"No I didn't!" said the Kimura-door, "I said you were too big to enter. You must drink that bottle to become smaller and fit through the door." So, without further ado, Sakaki drank the bottle of red liquid She rather thought it tasted like tamarack tea, but also something that reminded her of, cats? She didn't have any more time to think, though as she was now feeling a sensation of being in an elevator that was going a bit too fast. She also saw the floor slowly coming toward her and realized the Kimura-door was right; she was indeed shrinking. Eventually, she stopped and was about seven decimeters tall, just the size of the door.

"Okay," said Sakaki, getting used to the seemingly increased altitude of the room. "Can I go through the door now?"

"Whoops," Said the Kimura-door, looking very sheepish. "I forgot! You have to put on the special costume to get in as well, over there." He jerked his head (knob?) toward a now very large hybrid of a swimsuit and a high school girl's uniform. If Sakaki was the right height, she would have fit perfectly, but now it could be used as a marquee now.

"Um, they're kind of too big." said Sakaki.

"Oh, that's right. Here those will do the trick." The Kimura-door jerked his head toward another strange thing, in this case a box of chocolate chip cookies with the chips spelling "EAT ME" on all of them.

Well, thought Sakaki, if they make me larger, then I can get the costume on, and if it makes me go smaller, I can crawl through the door. So, she took a bite out of one. She chewed on it, admiring the soft texture and the uncannily similar taste to the liquid she drank earlier, and then she got a feeling. A feeling that she was growing. She kept having that felling when she hit her head on the ceiling, which was three meters or so off the ground. This new height was exceedingly uncomfortable, as she couldn't sit down because a lot of furniture was suddenly in the way

"Wow…… so…… big." The Kimura-door ejaculated, the nose on the doorknob bleeding freely. Sakaki was unable to get out of it, and, seeing as there was nothing else to do, she cried. Her tears were as big as hailstones and were magically flooding the room

"Help glub! Help glub!" cried the Kimura-door incoherently, spewing up salt water. "Ird betur dor tibs nobu." and he opened his already gaping mouth, and an eerie red light infused Sakaki, and she drifted into utter void.

As Sakaki was drifting through an inexplicable void, she had had some time to think. Where in the heck and God Almighty was this place? This had taken her a while, as the void drifted on forever. She thought of it almost exclusively in fact, thinking up Strange and Imaginative things that could Never be told in a low budget short story if anybody ever made one, and was some where completely different. She was on what looked like an English country dirt road, with rolling plains on either side of the dirt road and the afternoon sun shining weakly on what looked like the cutest little cottage Sakaki have ever seen (she was also the same height now, or was she?). If only there were cats here, Sakaki began to think, but the thought was shattered by a Chiyo-sounding voice coming from the door of the house.

"Oh, the queen's going to kill me! Where are those things, oh!" she had just noticed Sakaki on the road and the Chiyo-rabbit that Sakaki had seen earlier came up to her with an un-Chiyolike scowl.

"Mary Ann, where have you been? Go into the house this instant and get me my white gloves and fan!" And she nudged Sakaki in her home. It was nice and homely, like people would think a rural English house would look like.

"And don't come back until you've found them!" the Chiyo-rabbit said, and slammed the door as she left the house. Sakaki stood there, shocked. When did Chiyo-chan own a house all by her self? Oh, well, she thought, and left that out of her conscious. The room she was standing in had a nice big table, and on that table were three pairs of brilliantly glowing white gloves and a glowing gold fan. Wow, Sakaki thought, those must be priceless, or even more expensive. She might have wanted to touch them, but she was again distracted by the same bottle of liquid, but with no "DRINK ME" on the label, instead there was a picture of Neco Coneco on it. The sight of that liquid somehow drew everything else out of her mind. She was really compelled to drink it. And so she did. Every last drop. Then she realized that she had stuff to look for. Was it Grass, Cats, or things that go "fan" in the night? She would have kept on thinking if she hadn't come in close contact with the ceiling just then. Or had her arm painfully crammed in the window. When all was said and done and she felt like she was crammed inside a small wooden box, she noticed that she just grew a few feet. Or more.