I intended to post this on the 23rd but due to all the drama on my account I was unable to. At any rate this can stand alone as a one-shot but I did make it as somewhat of a tie-in to October is Uncool, of course you don't have to have seen that story to understand this one.
And yadda yadda I don't own Soul Eater.
Spirit Albarn really needed the cigarette break; he'd spent all day subbing for one class after another due to many of the staff members of the academy being on various missions during the busy month of October. Despite his reputation as a drunken flirt Spirit got off well with most of the students so he couldn't say filling in for so many teachers would cause such a need for nicotine. The stress of planning for the dangerous final showdown with Asura would be a cause to smoke but he'd missed the daily meeting due to subbing. Spirit Albarn's primary concern was his ex-wife, Kami.
She'd been in town for a few weeks and the two had managed to avoid one another as Spirit had tried his best to keep a low profile. If she were to see him he could only imagine the drama that would ensue or how many horrible things she would have to say to him. They'd spoken all of five times during the month, once when Kami was snapping at him for never reprimanding their daughter for her dangerous battle techniques (as if Maka would listen to him), and another time because she wanted him to call Maka to see why she and Soul hasn't reported in from their day-mission yet. Kami was trying her best to not look as if she were worrying too much over Maka so she decided Spirit needed to make the call.
During their encounters the two would get down to business and end their contact as quickly as possible. Kami kept the encounters short because she hated him and Spirit kept the encounters short because he knew he still loved Kami and being around her tore him up inside. The two had long-separated due to Spirit's womanizing ways and while Spirit could argue that he had reasons for wanting to cheat, in the end he knew he had done the most damage to their relationship.
He hadn't expected to see Kami willingly joining him on the balcony, her asking for a cigarette was even more of a surprised; she had never been one to smoke.
"Don't tell Maka please." She inhaled sharply on the cancer stick.
"Wouldn't dream of it. She'd never believe it anyway."
She exhaled a puff of smoke along with a sigh "Good, can't have her trying to follow this aspect of my life too."
"Can you believe she's already made Soul a Death Scythe?"
Kami groaned and inhaled again; at this rate she'd finish her cigarette before he finished his. "Don't remind me, next thing we know she'll be four months pregnant and that boy will be picking baby names off of dead musicians. I don't want a grandson named Kurt and I sure as fuck don't want a granddaughter named Janis."
Janis Joplin was who she was referring to, that was a stab directed at him personally. Kami had always been into older rock when they were young and she dubbed the song "Me and Bobby McGee" their song.
"Our Maka's not gonna let that happen to herself."
"You don't know that. Think my parents expected this shit." She finished off her cigarette and angrily drug the tip across the cement wall to put out the remaining embers.
He sighed; the thought of his daughter giving him grandkids anytime in the next ten years was enough to make him sick. "Guess not. Not Maka though, she knows better than to do anything so irrational and besides that, I'm sure Soul knows I'd kill him."
"If she keeps being so damn good at following my footsteps I think you're going to be a murderer."
"Well he hasn't made a move yet and I'm pretty sure she's more likely to become a lesbian than to want to touch a man."
"My daughter better not turn out to be a damn dyke, it'll be your fault ya' know."
He shrugged off her homophobic statement thinking it best not to mention Azusa's tendencies and the fact that Kami seemed fine when the two of them had a mission together. He needed another cigaretter if this conversation was going to keep happening; of course Kami was more than willing to bum another off of him when he pulled the pack out.
"Yeah, yeah I'm a shitty father and should feel bad. Not like I don't get reminded of that at least once a week."
She lit her cigarette using what was left of Spirit's first. "Thanks for that, by the way."
"For fucking up?"
"No for letting her have a parent to hate. It would be a problem if she hated the one who was never home to do anything positive in anyway right? Besides she can't hate you too much, you're a fuck up and dramatic and stupid and annoying; but you're hard to hate."
"You could stay home you know, not like being my ex banishes you from the city; Maka would love it if you were here."
"I couldn't do it."
"Why? You'd instantly have a good job, easily have a place to live, and be accepted by everyone. It's not like they'd look at you negatively; they'd just give me a hard time about losing you is all."
"That's not all true. Even if that was true, you're too damn likable for me to stick around here."
"Is that a compliment?"
"Did it sound like one?"
"Yes"
"Okay then live it up while it lasts."
"I'll try that I guess." Spirit filled the awkward silence and staring contest Kami had started by blowing a few smoke rings.
"You know I could be less likable, just stay pretty hammered at chupas' and all."
"I'd hate seeing that too."
"I could get reassigned."
"Don't even give me that self-sacrificing shit Spirit, you and I both know you have a duty as Death Scythe and that's a little more important than my comfort."
"I would if I could."
"Shit like this is why you're too likable you jackass." She flicked her half smoked waste of a cigarette away and yanked on his tie growling "And now you have that dumbass expression on your face like you're somehow innocent and don't get what the hell I'm saying when you know you're a smooth talking piece of shit."
Spirit had been with a lot of women but Kami's kisses we're always the most real, raw, mind-numbing and amazing things.
He had almost forgotten until right then when her lips slammed against his and he instantly dropped his cigarette onto the ground.
She pulled away for a second, a tight grip still on his tie and a scowl on her face resembling the kind of looks her daughter gave him. "I hate you so damn much!" She shoved her lips towards his once again this time both of their tongues were getting involved in the action.
Spirit had wanted this for a long time; it was something he'd think about every few months and apparently Kami was on the same page, even if only reluctantly so. He shouldn't have let her kiss him the first time, let along the second time, he shouldn't have let her hands roam around his back and he shouldn't have made any noises of satisfaction but damn it all for once he wanted Kami to do something irrational and idiotic that he could say she coaxed him into doing. This mistake could belong to just Kami, their marriage while mostly ended due to his own short-comings also had a little of her own hand involved and he's spent the last few years taking full blame for it. For once she could take the blame on something as soon as this little make-out session was over or led to them both going back to his place for angry sex he would tell Stein how she initiated it and he would use his every glance in her direction to send her a smart-ass smirk.
It would be fun, it would be hilarious, it would be deserved but he realized when their face sucking was halted by his daughter's voice and Kami's slap to his face that it would break his daughter's heart.
"Maka.. sweetie it's…" Kami fumbled over her words as Maka stood gaping at the two.
"It's exactly like all the other times before." There was a lot of venom in Maka's voice and she was right, many of the quarrels Kami and Spirit had gotten into when they were married ended in this manner, but the divorce wasn't supposed to; it was supposed to be something set in stone.
"No Maka it's really-"
Kami didn't have a chance to finish what she wanted to say, Maka had already slammed the door and disappeared down the hall.
"God, fucking damn." Kami paced with as much room as she could find to pace on the balcony and Spirit tried to think of the last time he'd seen her this utterly distressed as she ranted in a disjointed manner.
"This is what I was talking about Spirit. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn. I bet I just set a great example! Get back with men that wronged you over and over that's what smart people do! Now she can hate both of us, maybe she'll go fucking marry her weapon tonight out of spite."
"She's not going to hate both of us."
"Yes she is! She officially has every right to."
"No, because I'm going to tell her it was my fault."
"You and your damn self-sacrificial tendencies." Her voice was full of malice but Spirit knew that there was a "thank you" hidden somewhere in it.
What else could he do? After all having Maka dislike a parent that wasn't even around to try proving herself would be problematic.
I was a little sad that because of writing in Soul's point of view I could only imply Spirit took the blame. I could definitely see him doing something like this and if you haven't read October is Uncool then you should know my personal theory for Kami's absence is that she is trying to set an example for Maka about not staying with cheaters but the only way she can really stay away from Spirit is by not being anywhere near him.
