Author's Note : This is a one shot fic based off of a relationship that happened on an rp board I admin. Yes, it's very sad, and very depressing. Remy fans might not like this fic… at all.

Yes, my char is with Remy… live with it, it's a fanfic. I can do what I will.

If you find yourself not liking the fic, then, please, click back and go find one you'll like. I don't expect everyone to like the fic, and I don't force you to read this.

Anyways, disclaimers… the song that this fic has taken it's name is by Linkin Park… Gambit, Iron Man, and Lucy in the Sky (Who's mentioned as Entropy on the board and in the fic) belongs to Marvel, as does the whole concept of the X Men. Taylor Giddings belongs to my friend Nick (Though Taylor's name will never ever be mentioned in the fic). The only char that belongs to me is Hikaru Takahashi, Kaminari Nova… or, for those on X Evo… 'the hideous plothole.'

And, yes, this will get slightly confusing. But, that's how it's supposed to be…

Enjoy.

She only had one picture. They had never spent much time together. He always smiled, if not on the outside, then on the inside. She always noticed it before, and it always cheered her up to see him, no matter what her feelings were on the matter.

Biting her lip, she set the picture aside, next to the one of her older relationship, the former relationship lasting more then three years. Maybe Remy would have been the same.

It was highly doubtful. Unless she decided to go all Southern and gain the power to, basically, kill people upon touch, then Remy wasn't going to stay with her for long.

A small ladybug appeared on the windowsill, like ladybugs do, as if from out of nowhere. Her eyes drifted downwards to the small creature, a glazed look on her face. There was something good about being stuck an animal. No one told you that you had to be home at a certain time, or that you had to do specific things at a specific time. In reality, an animal could do what it wished.

Until it died.

Her hand came down upon the unknowing insect, ending its already short life in a pure instant. So much influence on so little. That was what she had. Glancing out to the other end of the room, where her dirtied uniform was just strewn all over the place. She had only gone out on that fateful mission that day, to come back just as the sun was about to set, her mind and body in the worst shape ever. Due to her lack of caring, her powers just decided to stop working, leaving her with only bandage and ointment to heal her wounds. Lately, the only time her powers really worked was when she was out in missions, when her façade appeared, to block her true emotional state from others.

Maybe that was the way her body was going to help her these days. Instead of letting her run away from things she should have run away from, it helped her block people from helping her.

Well, at least she was getting some help.

The large mansion itself was rather silent, sparse of anyone with superpowers. Mr. Stark was busy getting drunk, or on 'official Avengers business.' Karolina stopped talking to her, and, for whatever reason, disappeared much to the style of Hikaru herself.

Slowly, she sat up from her position and wiped the remains of ladybug on her bandage. A slight twinge of unfamiliar pain shot through her leg as she touched the bandage, allowing her to feel the physical retribution of letting herself go. A slight swear escaped her lips as a single tear streamed down her face.

Why did it hurt so much? More importantly, why was she feeling this down?

There was never really an explanation on her own feelings, as if the feelings she had absorbed from others just accumulated onto her own psyche. She hugged herself lightly, wishing she had him back.

Her mind flashed with visions of him. His smile, his eyes, his embrace, his warmth, his trust, his love. The visions just swirled until she found herself sitting on her floor, tears contributing to her inability to fully heal. He was never going to leave her mind, no matter how bad… or how good he could have been.

That fateful mission left a scar on her that was left by his mental dagger. Now it was a physical dagger too. Her hand went to the scar just below her stomach, though there was no bandage there. The last of her tears streamed down her face, leaving her with dry and itchyness where they came from. She let it be for a few moments, before it became unbearable, when she itched them absently while biting her lip once more.

"If I could change I would, take back the pain I would," she whispered lightly, in a sing song voice, "Retrace every wrong move that I made I would, If I could stand up and take the blame I would…"

Her eyes wandered back outside again, one last, retaliating tear falling down her cheek.

"I would take all my shame to the grave."