Memories
Nigel Townsend sighed to himself as he turned on the water, full blast. He then stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower. A groan escaped him as the cold water hit his bare skin.
His head throbbed. He knew that he couldn't keep on like this. It was eventually going to kill him or at least get him fired.
He was currently expertly hiding his feelings. He acted as if everything was the same between his ex-lover and him. No one knew the pain he felt, deep down in his soul.
Nigel's memory suddenly flashed back to when he had broken his scarred heart…
Nigel had just gotten back from Lily and Brandeu's wedding. There was a sinking feeling in his soul. He knew why Lily couldn't marry Brandeu.
He had been sitting in the break room, head in hands, when Bug came in, practilly skipping. There was a big, goofy smile on his face and a lovesick look in his eyes. Nigel knew then that, for sure, it was all over.
"She said that she couldn't marry him because he wasn't me! Can you believe that, Nigel?"
"What about us?" Nigel wanted to ask, but he didn't. Instead he just forced a big smile and congratulated his friend.
The things that had happened between Bug and himself had happened in the heat of the moment, helped along by the booze. It had been nothing at all, just a moment of lust and lapsed judgment.
"Nothing," Nigel whispered aloud. Tears were running down his face, mingling in with the water.
He turned off the water and climbed out of the shower. His black locks dripped, but he didn't care.
Another memory washed over him. It brought back all the old feelings and wants.
"Oh, Buggles," he had moaned.
Bug's lips had felt so good against his bare skin. Nigel couldn't believe how quickly the shorter man had learned. He had never felt so happy in his life.
Nigel's willowy hand was now gently caressing Bug's smoothly shaved face. He looked deeply into Bug's chocolate colored eyes. He suddenly realized that he had never cared so deeply for anyone, man or woman, in his life.
He fell face forward on his bed. He never wanted to move again. He wanted to just…not exist. His hand wrapped around the remote to his stereo. He clicked it on. 'Numb', by Paperback Heroes came blasting out.
He turned over and stared blankly up at the ceiling, the music washed over him and through him.
Memories. He wished he didn't have them. They were just a pain in the ass.
