Dear Sara,
I just had to go, and you knew that. You understood. Even though I didn't believe you did, you told me over and over again that you did in fact. So now I'm hundreds of miles away from you. We do talk on the phone at least once a day, but I miss seeing you, smelling you, holding you, and tasting you.
Wash
away the thoughts inside
That keep my mind away from you.
No
more love and no more pride
And thoughts are all I have to do.
Even when I'm teaching, all I want to do is think about you and most of the time that happens. I'll be in the middle of a very interesting lecture about entomology, but then something said or done triggers a thought within me about you and I drift away from the lecture. My students must think I'm crazy for zoning out all of the time, but that's the only way I can be connected to you since I can't see you, smell you, hold you, or taste you.
Remember
when it rained.
Felt the ground and looked up high
And called
your name.
Remember
when it rained.
In the darkness I remain.
When I go to bed at night here in this foreign place, I only dream about one thing. I dream about the first time we kissed. It was so unexpected. After we rescued Nick from being buried alive, you, Greg, Brass, and I went to the diner for coffee. Greg and Brass turned in early, but you and I stayed to talk. We would have talked all night, but we both had the next day's shift and needed some sleep and a shower. As we were walking in the parking lot, a realization came over me which changed me forever. That could have been you in that deadly grave. I could have lost you forever and never got to tell you that I love you. As those last three words floated in my mind, I came to the conclusion that I did truly love you. I had always thought I had liked you before. I found you attractive and smart, but I never thought I loved you. As my brain and my heart registered this new feeling, I did something so spur of the moment that it surprised both of us. We were walking side by side and all of a sudden I grabbed your arm, swung you around to face me, and I planted my lips directly onto yours. I didn't force you to keep kissing me, but you did and I'm glad. Our first kiss was a soft kiss, but it was full of passion and magic. Now for the next three weeks, I can only replay this moment in my dark hotel room pretending that I'm seeing you, smelling you, holding you, and tasting you.
Tears
of hope run down my skin.
Tears for you that will not dry.
They
magnify the one within
And let the outside slowly die.
I don't know if I'll be able to last the next three weeks without you. I crave you every second of every day. Every day without you feels like an eternity and I feel like a little piece of me dies every day I'm not with you. Sometimes I feel so lonely and vulnerable that I could just burst out in tears. The days that I do cry for you, each tear represents how I miss being able to see you, smell, hold you, and taste you.
Remember
when it rained.
I felt the ground and looked up high
And called
your name.
Remember when it rained.
In the water I
remain
Running down
I know I've had a problem at work and you know as well. I thought this trip away would bring me peace and revitalization, but it hasn't even come close to making me feel better. I still think I need to be away from work, but I can't be away from you too. I don't care how upset my students are going to be or how mad the administrators are going to be, I'm coming home. I going to run home to you as fast as I can, so I can see your deep chocolate brown eyes and your luminous smile, smell your fragrant mango shampoo and body wash, hold your warm and slender frame against mine, and taste your soft, pale lips.
Love, Grissom
P.S. I wouldn't be surprised if I'm home even before you receive this letter.
