What so bad about being a frog? Why is it that if a frog talks it's someone under a curse, but when a horse talks they make a TV show about him? Why is it that the fall back curse of all witches is to turn people into frogs??? It is decidedly annoying to those of our species who were born, live, and will die perfectly happily as frogs. Well, before I give you the righteous indignation perhaps I should tell you what happened…
I was swimming around, minding my own business, when out of no where I heard this terrible racket. I swam over to the edge of my pond to see what the fuss was all about. A girl was sitting there bawling her eyes out and in general, being loud and obnoxious. In an attempt to restore the peace and quiet of my pond, I decided to do the nice thing and try to clam her down.
"What's wrong?" I asked her. Immediately the wailing stopped and she looked around.
"Who's there? Who said that?" she demanded.
"I did."
"You? But, but, you're a frog!"
"Thanks for sharing, I never would have guessed."
The girl sputtered for a moment, unsure of what was going on. Suddenly a look of comprehension dawned on her face. She smiled as though she had just figured out a marvelous surprise.
"Oh kind frog," she sighed, her voice changing from shocked and alarmed to sweet and gentle. "I have dropped my golden ball in to the pond. My father, the king will be ever so angry when he finds out." She attempted to make her face look like a sad puppy dog but really only succeeded in making herself look silly. "Could you find it in the goodness of your heart to find for me?"
I sighed. I'm a sucker for puppy dog eyes, and even though hers were rather pathetic she still won me over. "Well I guess it couldn't hurt. It's not exactly like I have anywhere to be."
I swam of in search of her golden ball. As it turned out, it was remarkably easy to find. I sank straight to the bottom as gold is apt to do. Finding it was one thing. Bringing it back to the surface was another thing entirely. As you may know, frogs have never been known for their strength. Jumping, croaking, and eating flies? Yes. Lifting heavy objects? No. The ball was extremely difficult to move. It was about as large as I was and it was completely round. To top is off, it was solid gold. After much pushing and tugging I managed to roll it along the bottom of the pond almost all the way to the surface. Knowing that the princess was not likely to be very happy that it was covered in mud from the bottom of the lake, I attempted to wash it off a bit. Then I swam underneath it and pushed it up the foot or so of water to the surface.
The princess was ecstatic. She eagerly grabbed the ball and tucked it safely into her bag. Then, as I was about to swim away she turned to me. "Oh, I suppose you want a reward now," she said.
"Oh no that's quite alright," I replied, or at least I tried to. Before I had a chance to finish she picked me up to. Before I knew it, I too was dropped into the aforementioned bag. Seconds later the bag was lifted and I was being bumped and jostled as the princess took off at a rapid pace. Just my luck I thought grumpily, remembering with fondness the quiet peaceful pond that I had been swimming happily in earlier this morning. Around this point the golden ball hit me on the head stunning me and I remained in a state of half consciousness for the rest of the journey.
Finally, the princess and her bag came to a halt. The bag was dumped out and I fell rather uncomfortably onto a stone floor. Trying to figure out where on earth this mad princess had taken me I looked around. Before I had time to gage my surroundings, the princess grabbed me up and gave me a kiss. If you've ever been a frog than you might no that being kissed is not extremely pleasant. I felt like my skin was being pulled off. Not exactly a nice feeling. When nothing happened the princess stared at me for a second in thought; then she hurled me across the room.
I hit the wall with a crack, and as I fell to the floor again I was fairly certain that at least one of my limbs was broken. The princess was now staring at me in great confusion. "But that should have worked!" She exclaimed. I noticed the door and attempted to limp towards it. "What must I do to return you to a prince?" she said curiously.
Sighing I turned to face her, as much as I wanted out of this mad house, a tiny part of my brain was curious as to what on Earth was going on. "What on earth are you jabbering about?" I asked. "Turn who in to a prince?"
"Why, you of course. What will break the curse that you are under?"
"What curse?? I'm not cursed! Why would you think I was cursed!"
"But, you're a frog!" She exclaimed as though that explained everything.
"Are you insinuating something?"
"Well-"
"Oh I see, you think that being a frog is so horrible that any frog who is the least bit courteous must be a person under a curse."
"Umm-" the princess stared at me, but I was too annoyed with her to stop now.
"No need to take note of the fact that humans themselves are rarely courteous"
"You're really a frog?"
"Yes!" As I said this a look of comprehension came over the princess's face. This was quickly erased by a look of disgust…
"I kissed a FROG!!! Ewww! Blech! GROSS!" The princess screamed, frantically wiping her lips and face trying to rid it of any possible frogyness. Before I could make a fitting remark, the princess picked me up by one leg trying to touch as little of me as possible and hurled me out the window. Keep in mind that we were on the second floor. By a small chance of fate I landed in a bush that broke my fall and probably saved my life. It took me weeks to recover from the whole event. Remember that I did rescue her ball for her and that was no easy task. Well I certainly learned my lesson. So if you're ever in need, dropped something into a deep body of water, DON'T COME CRYING TO ME.
A.N. Sorry about the ending, I wrote most of this and then forgot about it for a week or so, so I forgot what I had intended so I had to make up an ending, but it doesn't mesh as well as I would have liked with the rest of the story. Alas, such is life. The purple button is your friend!
Ni
