Note: I do not own Love Hina, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!
After writing Awe of She for a while and being quite a review whore, I decided it was about time I wrote something for myself, and only myself. Anyone can jump in and stick with me here.
GYRAX Presents…
Bonnie, Bonnie, and Clyde
Chapter 1: Watermelon Bomb
"Thank God you came,
Mutsumi." Keitaro said, still a bit shaken up form the rising chaos
of the Hinata House.
"No problem." Mutsumi replied. "You're in a crisis? I'm there to help."
"That's nice of you." Naru said, also seeming to be a bit shaken up from the rising chaos of the Hinata House. "Personally, I don't know how much more of that place I could take."
"I had to chase Sarah because she had one of my favorite magazines." Keitaro exhaled.
"Pervert." Naru replied.
"NOT THAT KIND OF MAGAZINE!" Keitaro screamed. "Anyway, I went to chase Sarah, only to be chased myself by Su and her Evangelion."
"I still don't know how she could fit that in the dorm." Naru said.
"She couldn't." Keitaro replied. "Instead, the sheer size of that thing destroyed half of the building. We had to have Kitsune tell a really sad story about some disease to the band L'ArcenCiel so we could hold a fundraiser concert to pay for repairs. That was real hell. That was only the tip of the iceberg. It turns out we had extra money, but Kitsune used almost all of it to buy sake, and she got just about everyone drunk as shit."
"Especially me." Naru added. "We shouldn't forget to mention Keitaro's bazillions of perverted acts."
"And the bazillions of times you punched me in the face because you've wrongfully accused me." Keitaro added.
"Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!"
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"
"Seems like you guys are worn out." Mutsumi said. "Well, worry no longer; you're on vacation, now."
"Thanks for the tickets to Okinawa." Keitaro said.
"And by the way, Mutsumi, nice aquarium." Naru commented.
Those who actually dove into Okinawa's waters testified the Churaumi Aquarium as a near-perfect simulation of the island's marine life. With every floor you go down, you go in deeper and deeper into the simulated ocean, and it was really a beauty at the ocean floor, where Naru, Keitaro, and Mutsumi were looking at the plethora of marine life swimming around the waters.
Mutsumi smiled at Naru and Keitaro, dressed up as a tour guide. "Yup. I will be your personal tour guide throughout Okinawa. This is the Churaumi Aquarium, a perfect reproduction of Okinawa's marine life, and we're on the ocean floor. This mean we get to see the best show on the facility. If you look ahead, you'll see a few whale sharks."
Keitaro and Naru looked ahead and saw one of the behemoth fish swim right next to the several-story high Plexiglas window. It was truly a sight for sore eyes. Mutsumi looked on with a smile n her face and a watermelon in her left hand. "They're truly majestic creatures, aren't they? The whale shark can be up to 12 meters long, some unofficial accounts claiming 18 meters long."
"They really are majestic." Naru replied.
"They're huge (The fish I mean)." Keitaro commented.
"Despite their size," Mutsumi added. "They are filter feeders; they only eat life forms as small as plankton."
"That's kind of silly, don't you think?" Keitaro remarked.
A group of kids was playing around with a big blue ball, one of them with her body clinging to it as it rolled across the exhibition hall. How they managed to get a giant inflated blue bouncy ball in the aquarium only God knows. The girl got off and one of the boys threw the ball towards another boy, but it went off course and hit Keitaro, forcing him to plant his face oh-so-nicely on Naru's chest.
In a reaction as predictable as leaving an orange outside to mold, Naru freaked out. "SLIMY PERVERT!" She wound up her fist and connected perfectly to Keitaro's right cheekbone, launching him at a good speed. First, he scraped off Mutsumi's watermelon. Then he bumped off the giant Plexiglas window, and finally he slid quite a few feet until he stopped. Later, he realized that he got rug burn on his head.
Mutsumi took a look at her watermelon and saw something glowing on its stem. It didn't take long until she realized that glowing thing was a spark; the stem was a fuse!
"Oh, my!" Mutsumi mused, as the fuse got shorter and shorter.
"What is it?" Naru asked. Then she looked at the fuse and freaked out. "MY GOD!"
"THAT WATERMELON'S A BOMB!" Keitaro screamed; his hair was singed.
By the time he said that, it was to late; the bomb exploded in a brilliant glowing ball of fire, smoke, and ash. The impact from the explosion caused a crack on the Plexiglas window, which in turn made the tank leak. The leak got worse, until the sheer pressure of the water caused the whole window to just shatter. Like a bursting dam in Pennsylvania, the glass completely shattered, letting in a torrent of water, as well as the marine life. The raging water eventually became so strong, that they broke the windows to the outside, where they carried all the tourists away, including our threesome.
And during all of this, Mutsumi fainted.
"Kei-kun! Kei-kun!" Said a small childlike voice. Little Mu-chan was running ahead, with Kei-kun and Na-chan struggling to catch up. They were running on the sidewalk around Haruka's Teahouse, with a group of kids chasing them while making noises that were supposed to sound like police sirens. "Hurry up, or they'll catch us!"
"We're running as fast as we can, Mu-chan!" Na-chan said. "You're too fast!"
"Sorry, Na-chan." Mu-chan replied. She slowed down, so Na-chan and Kei-kun could catch up.
"You can't run for long, robbers!" One of the kids said, as the group was chasing them down the sidewalk.
"The coppers are catching up!" Kei-kun cried out.
"Hold on, guys!" Mu-chan replied. "We need to gain speed. Hold on tight!" She smiled as she ran faster, seemingly dragging young Na-chan and Kei-kun, while the other kids were chasing them around. Little Mu-chan's giggles were echoing in the air.
"Mmm…" Mutsumi groaned as her eyes slowly opened. Even after they were fully opened, the world around her was still blurry from the sleep in her eyes. She also felt something on the back of her head. There were two of them, and they were soft but also hard, and they seemed to be covered in denim. Her vision slowly cleared, and she looked up to see that her head was resting on Keitaro's legs. She sat up and looked around. The place they were in appeared to be a bus.
"Glad to see you're finally awake, Mutsumi." Keitaro said.
"Thanks, Kei-kun." Mutsumi replied. She looked around again and then turned her eyes back at him. "Ara? Where are we?"
"We're on a bus heading for Naha." Keitaro replied. "Once we get there, we're going to the airport, flying back home, and putting all of this behind us."
"I don't think that would be as easy as you think." Naru said, looking out the back window.
Keitaro went to see what Naru was looking at, and what he saw put a whole new kind of chill down his spine. "Oh crap! THE COPS!" Indeed, there were a group of police cars trailing the bus they were in, with sirens blaring all over.
"Ooh!" Mutsumi smiled. "It's like a game of cops and robbers."
"This is no time for games!" Keitaro screamed.
"This is all your fault!" Naru shouted. "Why did you have to scrape off Mutsumi's watermelon?"
"Excuse me!" Keitaro replied.
"You heard me!" Naru shouted. "When I punched you, you scraped off of her watermelon bomb-thingy, the friction causing the fuse to light up!"
"That would be YOUR fault!" Keitaro spat back. "And where did Mutsumi get something like that, anyway?"
Mutsumi just smiled. "Beats me." Naru and Keitaro face-faulted in response.
"Well, that doesn't matter, now." Keitaro said, as he and Naru stood back up. "What matters now, is that we find a way to get this all cleared up."
"Why don't YOU figure out how to deal with this?" Naru spat out.
"It's not my fault!" Keitaro retorted.
"Looks like they're gaining on us." Mutsumi smiled.
"Great!" Keitaro groaned. "We're going to have to think on the fly now! Perhaps if I hold the bus driver hostage and force him to accelerate…"
"You've already put us in a bad scenario!" Naru abruptly interrupted.
"And just WHAT does that mean!" Keitaro shouted.
Suddenly, they heard screeching tires, and when they turned to see what was going on, they found out that all the police cars were violently skidding out of control, and a white convertible was coming right for their bus. The convertible had "Bounty Hunters" in big black letters right on the hood.
(O)
The driver was a boy who looked like he was just in his twenties, his hair was short and blue, but he had two thick strands of hair covering his ears; his eyes were red. He wore a white t-shirt that said "Armored Core" on the chest, and tan cargo shorts. The other one was a guy who looked like he was late in his twenties, with his hair a much lighter blue, spiked and pushed backwards, with three thin strands over his forehead, and forked eyebrows; his eyes were brown. He wore a white three-piece suit.
The older man stood up and looked at the younger driver. "Tou! Give me the RPG!"
The younger one looked at him. "Are you sure, brother? I mean we could just stop the bus with spikes or something…"
"I want the rocket launcher, damn it!" The older one retorted. The younger one complied and gave him one hell of a big rocket launcher. The older man aimed it straight at the bus and opened fire.
(O)
The threesome saw this and flipped. Keitaro reacted by grabbing the bus driver and throwing him onto the floor. He then took the seat and steered it as far to the left as possible to avoid the rocket. The bus barely dodged it, but it shook violently after the rocket exploded right in front of it.
Naru looked back at the convertible behind them. "IS HE NUTS?"
(O)
"Damn! I missed!" The older one shouted. "Tou! Another round!"
"Got it." The younger one complied. He handed him another rocket. The older one once again aimed at the bus in front of them.
(O)
"Shit!" Naru shouted. "He's gonna shoot again!" A rocket came right for their bus. Keitaro saw this through the rearview mirror and steered as far to the right as he could, avoiding the second rocket, and again shaking aggressively after the rocket exploded right in front of them. Keitaro sighed in relief after he steered the bus right back forward, only to see another rocket heading towards the bus. Again, he steered the bus to as far to the left as he could, avoiding the rocket and shaking violently after the explosion.
Naru couldn't take it anymore, but Mutsumi was giggling like she was having the time of her life, and indeed she was.
"I've always wanted to be in an action film." Mutsumi said in amusement.
"Good for you!" Naru retorted. "I just wanna get outta here!"
(O)
"Damn!" The older bounty hunter shouted. "I'm out of rounds! I'll have to do it the old fashioned way!"
"You mean you're going to use a regular gun and shoot out the tires?" The driver asked.
"Nope." The older man answered. "I'm gonna get through a window and capture them personally." The driver just sighed and drove the convertible to the right side of the bus. Once the car got to the bus's side, it slowly closed the gap between them.
Mutsumi only giggled again upon seeing this. "Oh my. Will you look at that?"
"He is SO not coming in through that window!" Naru cried out. Keitaro let go of the wheel and went over to see what was going on. What he didn't know though, was that without a driver, the bus was just swerving violently. The convertible pulled back so that it wouldn't get rammed. The swerving made it extremely difficult for Keitaro to navigate the hallways of the hulking bus, and he fell on top of Naru as a result.
"Oh my." Mutsumi said, as she saw Keitaro on top of her, with his hand on her breast. Now was NOT a good time for this, and Keitaro knew it. Being her usual self, Naru was pissed.
"GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!" Naru abruptly got up, throwing Keitaro off. She then geared her right foot and gave Keitaro a well-rounded spin kick to the face. Unfortunately, Mutsumi was in the line of fire so to speak, and she crashed out of the bus with him. Both of them landed nicely on top of the convertible's back seat, with Mutsumi on top of the ronin.
Naru just walked off, but the swerving made it hard to walk away dramatically.
(O)
Mutsumi got up and looked at the bounty hunters on the back seat. She smiled and gave them a simple wave. "Hiya!"
"Hey yourself," The older man responded. "Now cut the small talk and be arrested." He was about to give them a slap of the cuffs, but he noticed something was fishy. He saw a watermelon between the two front seats; it has a lit fuse on it. This got his attention quickly. "Why the hell would a watermelon have a fuse?" He pondered this for a second, and then it hit him. "WAIT! THIS WATERMELON'S A BOMB!"
Just after he said that, the whole convertible exploded in a brilliant ball of fire. Keitaro and Mutsumi both flew off into the wild blue yonder.
(O)
The driver regained control of the bus just in time for Naru to watch it all unfold. She panicked. "OH MY GOD!"
(O)
Something crashed onto a beach near Naha. An explosion of sand accompanied the massive thud. That something that crashed turned out to be the smoldering bodies of Mutsumi and Keitaro. The two separated themselves and flopped their bodies on the ground. They looked at the sky, wondering what the hell happened, and what to do now. One thing was for sure; today wasn't quite their day, at least not Keitaro's day.
"Wow!" Mutsumi said. "Now I know what its like to be a meteor."
"How could you still be that happy in a time like this?" Keitaro asked.
"Always be on the bright side of things, they say." Mutsumi answered without missing a beat. "At least we're alive, and you got to admit, that was a little fun."
"Okay, so it was a little fun." Keitaro half-assed the response. "But now we're convicted terrorists. What if they find us here?"
"We can still run, right?" Mutsumi said. "As long as we run, we won't get caught. That's the game of cops and robbers, eh?"
"Umm…yeah, that's right?" Keitaro said.
"I was just remembering the time when we played Cops and Robbers with a few other kids when we were little." Mutsumi smiled as she looked at Keitaro. "There was an older kid with spiked light blue hair and the weirdest eyebrows you'd ever see. He always took the game too seriously. He really wanted to wind the game so bad for some reason, and he tried whatever trick he thought of to catch us, remember?"
"It's a bit too cloudy for me." Keitaro answered.
"Oh." Mutsumi complied. They both looked back at the sky, wondering where to run next.
(O)
"You gotta see this!" Kitsune shouted from the living room. The other residents went to see what Kitsune was talking about. They all gathered around the TV set and looked directly at the screen; Su was latched onto Motoko. They lent their ears to the news program currently on to hear what it was that Kitsune was suddenly up in arms about.
The anchorman took no time to get down to the report, as it felt like quite a big one. "The whereabouts of the infamous Watermelon Bomber Mutsumi Otohime and her cohorts are currently unknown at the moment. A sequence of explosions was found a couple kilometers away from Okinawa's capital of Naha. Aside from that, we couldn't find a single trace of the convicted felons. For those who just tuned in, Mutsumi Otohime, alias The Watermelon Bomber has allegedly bombed the Churaumi Aquarium, completely destroying the tank on the ground floor. Assumptions were made that perhaps they are ecological terrorists that intended on bringing the marine life back to the seas, except in what could've been possibly the most idiotic manner imaginable. Thought they're not the brightest insurgents, for some reason the police weren't able to find them. Their whereabouts are still unknown. This is Junichi Aomori, signing off."
Just then, Kitsune turned off the TV, and everyone just stood there. A few seconds later, all hell broke loose. Shinobu was sobbing something about her poor Sempai, Su went into a hyperactive fit, and Sarah wasn't hesitant to join it. Motoko had her bokken up and ready, and Kitsune just had her jaw dropped, screaming "WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" They were all freaking out, until Kitsune finally shook her head and looked at the rest of the residents in their own personal dramas.
She stood up. "CUT THE SHIT!" That got their attention in a hurry. Kitsune now had a look of determination on her face, as she was ready to speak again. "We can't just sit here and run around screaming bloody murder! We gotta do something, damn it!"
"What are we to do though?" Motoko said.
"WHADDYA THINK?" Kitsune retorted. "WE'RE GONNA SAVE THEM, DAMMIT! WE NEED TO PRESERVE OUT HINATA SOU CODE OF IRON!"
"Code of Iron?" Sarah asked. "You just made that up, didn't you?"
"Never mind that!" Kitsune answered. "We got to help them! I mean, they can't be guilty; someone must've used them as a scapegoat! Whaddya think?"
"Even if they're not guilty," Motoko replied. "How do you think we're supposed to save them? We don't even have tickets to Okinawa."
"She has a point." Sarah added.
"Leave that to me." Kitsune said, a sly grin crossing her face. "Thinking on the fly is one of my many shining attributes. FOR THE HINATA SOU CODE OF IRON!"
The rest shouted with her. "FOR THE CODE OF IRON!"
End chapter 1
So, what do you think? Any comment is appreciated.
On the Next Bonnie, Bonnie, and Clyde…
Kitsune and the rest of the harem go out to save our wrongfully accused criminals…by capturing them?
Stay tuned and find out where this story will go next. Until then, Ciao!
-GYRAX
